Relationships Are Really (Really) Fucking Important

I had dinner with a friend recently, and she said she really appreciated me taking the time to see her.  "You're welcome" wasn't the correct response for me, as it didn't feel like something I had to "fit in my busy life". It wasn't a burden. 

Connecting with people and cultivating relationships IS my life.  Understanding someone's worries, connecting with their fears and joys, listening to them speak their passions or frustrations. 

This way of living never came easy to me. I'm not naturally outgoing. I actually spent most of my adult life by myself. I was shy, enjoyed my own company so much so that I would reject offers to go out with friends, and for many years never had any friends.  This took work, but it was worth it.

So what do I do now to create and cultivate meaningful relationships? 

Step 1: Give A Shit About People's Lives

Do you actually care about the other person? What they're talking about? If the answer is a "no", then maybe you shouldn't be friends with them. 

Step 2: Spend Your Time With People You Give A Shit About

Your time is valuable. Not everyone deserves your time, nor does everyone want to be in your life. So choose wisely the friends you have, and who you spend time with.

This may include making plans and taking the initiative to set up a friend date. 

Step 3: Start Something (Like An Event, Meetup, Group Dinner)

When was the last time you set up a dinner with your closest friends? Or a BBQ with the neighbors? I often fall into this trap, where I don't make the first move. I'll wait for others to make plans. Or I'll say no because I'm not feeling great, or don't feel like driving, or whatever. We can all do more to create meaningful relationships. It's time to get off the phones, and look into someone's eyes. That's where you'll find what you're looking for.