Highly Irritable
I’ve been highly flammable and increasingly irritable lately, and I don’t really know why. I am all about listening to my body and always figuring out correlation and causation of what goes on in me. I know that at a certain time of the month, I am super sensitive and irritated because of hormones, so I know when and what to expect with those, but this is different because it’s not that time of the month.
I am sensitive to sounds, people and pretty much everything. I want to stab someone if I hear chewing noises, ASMR videos on Youtube are the worst type of torture I can imagine, I’d choose water torture 9 times out of 10, the one time being just so I donated forget to appreciate how good I have it. I don’t like to see people, or have people see me, I don’t want anyone talking to me, and even going to the grocery store is shit and I get anxiety for it.
Sometimes I try to push through this state, go meet people or try to do something that required effort, but it often leads to disaster. When I am feeling like this, nothing works out like I want it to. I drop things, I stab my toes on table legs, I stumble and I have frown lines worse than a middle aged woman without botox. I have learned to wait out the unstable times, instead of fighting it.
How I deal with my flammable state is by pushing everyone away, putting down electronics that might enable human contact, staying home alone and doing very simple tasks without hurry. I sleep, cook, eat, clean, read and watch streaming services. I have noticed that cutting down on everything extra and concentrating on simple tasks is what calms me down. I can’t believe I’m saying this but I now enjoy doing laundry and filling the dishwasher, who am I!?
Today is a sunny day and that always makes me feel a lot better, the sunlight really has healing properties and I intend to soak up all that in my balcony while reading. I don’t want to go outside, but I also don’t wanna rot inside my apartment, so the balcony is just perfect. I get the clean air, some peaceful city and nature sounds so I donated feel completely isolated, a slight breeze from the lake and direct sunlight.
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Ugh. That sounds horrible. I recognize the one part where "I want to stab someone if I hear chewing noises" and I didn't know that had a word until only recently: Misophonia. It literally makes me want to kill or smack someone if they chew or scrape a tea spoon in a cup. I first thought I was just intolerant and sort of was relieved that it's a real 'thing'.
I hope you find out what's 'wrong' - I'm not gonna yell at ya what it could be, but keep on searching, because if something is 'off' it's worth finding out about it <3
I think I will always be a little off so nothing to worry about 😅
"I don’t go out and stab people just for you know, existing in my universe." Okay, I love the 'existing in my universe" part!
My ego thanks you.
Sounds like the female version of my life (less the elusive irritability and inclinations to stab random strangers)... hehe... I actually look forward to the occasional encounter with other life forms when outside my Ivory Tower. Otherwise, my kinda girl for sure! There is indeed something rather sublime in various facets of solitude...
Well hello there, it’s been a while! I need to be in a very very good mood in order to enjoy human company other than my own.
I feel you! 😔
Stay away from glasses of milk and table and chair legs! Voimia!
Hope it passes Eve, you know yourself and seem to know how to deal with it. I'd suggest a 9mm handgun and an afternoon sending a few hundred rounds down range but all things considered maybe guns might not be a good idea...They make noise which wouldn't work well with your noise sensitivity. 😊
Just for the record...People's. chewing noises drives me bonkers at the best of times...I get the "stab someone" urge. Been there. 😆
Stay home, get yourself right or go out and...Look out world...😋
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I’ve been meaning to do that, but it involves having to communicate with humans first before I can have a gun and go at it alone. Maybe I’ll just have my dad teach me how to use a rifle the next time I’m in the countryside, but I feel like a handgun would suit me better.
I have both types as you know and that's the way it should be...But one type is better than none at all.
Hope you're feeling better, or will be soon. :)
When you are in this mood, I would choose to be stabbed by you 9 out of 10 times 😛
I really doubt it. If it wasn’t so frawned upon to stab people, we could try it.
That’s why I lift weights twice a week and put all that anger into it 😂😉
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Hi interested in what you have to say, I know this is coming from a man but it is meant as trying to be constructive, depending on how old you are it may be peri-menopause a lot of women and Dr's don't always realize or treat of possible early signs early menopause which can leave a lot of women thinking along the same lines of this post and worst can leave a person thinking they going mad, it is treatable and more information should be provided to women on the subject.
Jesus fucking christ. I highly doubt I’m going through menopause being that I am under 30. I am just bipolar or something nice like that. Chill.
LoL
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Although I think Eve is too young for this, I appreciate you mentioning it because it really is an overlooked diagnosis. I'm just in the process of figuring out how to tell a friend of mine I think she has this - no doctor has even thought to mention it but all the signs are there fore her.
That sounds like it’s going to be a conversation that is not too fun. I wish you good luck!
It indeed won't be the most fun convo to have - luckily I know she and her boyfriend don't want kids 🙏
In the UK it is getting more of a mention on the news channels as Dr’s have been putting it down as depression and not in some cases menopause. Peri-menopause can effect a small number of teenagers as well.
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