@perspective

triumphed over the necessary loss of a loved one

I broke up with a few female friends. One , my male friend and I called a "yada" because that's one who blabs and talk about other people who I never even met and that fish was caught by her mouth - saying she's tattled about me to others, too. Someone who won't get to sleep and call you in skype or on the phone just to dish, one who uses whats app just to gossip. I hate small talk so I didn't even say goodbye I just stopped every communication there is - even in social media. I would never use viber nor whats app ever again for that very same reason. And no, it's not a loss. It's one huge freedom not to have those apps on my phone.
They would try to irritate you, try to manipulate you by making a friend who is also their friend tell you they're not okay or they've done this and that. I just told that friend - straightforwardly, "I am not interested in that person anymore so don't tell me anything about her as I don't need to know. " That other friend and I are still hanging out and she hasn't talk about that other person since then.
The other one sucked my energy dry, so manipulative and cunning I had to pull the rug from under her. At first, she was very supportive, nice, generous, quiet so I liked it since I hate small talks. As the years fly by, I started seeing that the person is trying to manipulate me already, making excuses about when to go out and where to go - just to get what she wants. To the point of lying about this and that - just to get away with what she wants. It's tiring - all the drama and the "playing me" act. I stopped talking to that person when she started asking me about my schedules on certain things. I felt stalked, spied on not to mention "mothered" and pressured to "hurry do something". The worst part is - when we get together she spilled her own beans saying she delights in irritating one of her other friend's who I don't know and that she does that on purpose sometimes just to get back at that person because she didn't get her whim. How is that healthy?
The mothering came along the way because that seniority complex still exists in my country and it seems that some of our people took it with them here in the West. I already had a great mom and honestly, she was toying with the wrong emotions. I gave the person a cold shoulder and that person has voluntarily backed off.
Am I guilty? NO, never! Not because I'm an insensitive bitch but because I've been brought up with this - "The greatest love of all is to love yourself first."
My Mom always told me that and my grandpa, too. It is only when you love yourself truly that you can then love others . If you can't love yourself - how are you going to extend love to other people?" I was hesitating to call it a "triumph" but then it is indeed because breaking up is never easy to do - it leaves a scar and some hard learned lessons. It would pull out the most courage in a person to even do it but the best price you could get from doing it - is freedom from the shackles of toxic friends.