Soul Fertilizer #1: Intro & First steps to start the journey to self-love and your true self

in #life6 years ago

My dear,

world is hectic and full of ads and people telling us who we should be, how we should be and that we have to be and look a certain way to be perfect and loved.

But this is not life my dear, this is industry. It's not about being happy and free, it's about making a handful of people rich.

Due to media and social pressure, we forgot who we were when we were just kids. We forgot who we are truly inside. There is this authentic seed in us which dosen't care about the perfect body, earning lots of money, buying things to impress people we don't even know or like or faking ourselves to fit in a society that just tries the same and fakes itself to death just to get appreciation and love.

My dear, we started to get lost in a material and fake world, where millions of souls trying their best to look not that lost amongst all the others. We pretend to be happy and free, but we are broken and our souls cry for true freedom. We do everything to meet the fashion and make-up industries trends to look perfect, instead of starting to question these sick standards and start to love ourselves for who we are. And you know what my dear? You already ARE perfect! You don't need to become someone, you ARE someone!

You just have to meet yourself again and become friends with you, start loveing you from all your heart. Modern world calls it narcism, but it is self-love! We didn't hate ourselves when we were children. We were simply raw and beautiful. And happy!

This authentic seed in you has been burried to polluted soil of what we call modern society and media. This seed inside us wants to grow. But as it can't and we don't just want to be a sad, dark, polluted ground with nothing bloomin on it, we simply followed the industry and put a fake plastic flower on it.

Yes, there is a flower in your garden now, but the seed deep down inside your earth still wants to grow, to really bloom. To grow a strong and beautiful flower or tree. And this wish and inner call will never really stop, no matter how much you try to burry it, no matter how less you care for it and no matter how many „perfect“ fake plants you put on your soil.

Remember: A fake plant is dead. It dosen't grow. It's is just a ghost that someone created to hide how empty your flowerpot is. A blooming plastic miracle to impress others – until they take a closer look and see you are as fake as they are. But if we all want to escape that hell deep inside us, isn't it the time to make the start?

Just remember: A flower, even the smallest sprout, can grow so strong that it cracks the concrete of streets yet! The will to grow and blossom inside the seed is even stronger than stone!

I suffered from depression many years. I felt lost within myself and I didn't know who I am. I tried to become someone that gets appreciation and love, just like most of us. I wanted to be someone. Until I almost got a mental breakdown as this wonderful seed inside me started to cry louder and louder:“ HEY!!! Why do you try to build an identity? Why do you fake yourself more and more just to meet modern society's expectations? THEY are sick, not you!You don't have to look on the outside to become happy, loved and free! Why don't you just take a look inside, see me and give me the things I need to grow? You want to become a fake tree just because you only see a small seed inside you and all the others seem to bloom. But my dear, when you start nourishing me, I'll grow biger, stronger and more beautiful than you ever expected! And I will be real! I will be authintic! I will be free and dance with the wind!“

When I finally listened to that voice and started to really notice this beautiful and raw seed inside myself, I decided to care for it. To grow my own beautiful soul garden full of colors, blossoms and life! I don't want to be a plastic flower! I decided to be real, to be me! I started to escape this madness of a society faking itself until everyone feels so lost they have to buy a dead flower to at least have anything they can label themselves.

I started to give my seed a Soul Fertilizer. And it is the most beautiful journey I ever made!

I am still learning how to be a good soul gardener to myself, but I already learned some essential things. And I want you to grow and bloom, too. This is my biggest wish from deep down my heart. My mission. My inner calling.

That's why I want to tell you anything that helped me escaping a fake world to become a garden of Eden again!

Let's grow together! 🌱 🌻

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Soul gardening lesson one: Prepare a good and healthy soil!

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To create a healthy environment for your soul flower to grow and bloom, we start with weeding. And by weeding I mean pulling out all the wrong flowers, all the wrong things you have made your reality, your personality.

Remember: You have the right to grown and bloom, no matter if everyone around you seems to keep on growing weeds in their garden. You deserve to be a living paradise. That's why we are here. God, the divine, the universe, life (name it how you like it and how it feels good for you) hasen't made us to get lost in a mental labyrinth of a modern fake society.

Why do you think we all look different, have different voices, interests, things we like and dislike and talents? Right! Because we are meant to be versatile! That's what makes a garden a garden. Otherwise we become a monoculture and that is something human, something industrial, something capitalistic. It has nothing to do with freedom and living a unique life.

So how do we pull out all the weeds and start turning our pulluted soul into a healthy and inviting ground where a flower enjoys to grow and bloom?

For me the easiest way was to learn how to recognize, what is weed and what polluted my earth by asking myself some special questions.

So grab yourself a pen and some paper and answer the questions without a rush. Take your time. By writing it down it will be rooted much more inside yourself and you won't forget anything, can check it if you want and add some points. And it is a beautiful first step in calming down and start caring about yourself. 📝

1. How have you been as a child, when you were not influenced by media and modern society and just lived authentically and free? Which characteristics have been typical for you?

2. In which points have you changed since then? And do you know why?

3. What did you like to do when you were young and which job did you want to do?

4. What activities make time go by so fast for you? What could you do for hours without feeling like it's work or a burden to you?

5. What makes your heart dance? What makes you feel full of joy and energy?

6. Dropping every limitation inside you: How do you imagine a fulfilling life? Just be honest to yourself, even it may sound utopian or weird to you at the first moment. We are just so used to name the things we think we should do to have a life that fits into society.

7. What do others like about you that you don't fake? Some real appreciated aspects of you, not your fake friendliness you show at your job and things like that.... (and I swear, there are a lot of wonderful qualities in each of us, even if we have to learn to see them again)

8. What are you really good at?

9. Which things do you do because you feel good doing so and which ones do you do because you feel you have to (or maybe really have to at the moment)? Go through your whole day, your routines, your job, your relationships, your hobbies, your freetime....anything

10. What characteristics do you like and dislike about others and why?

11. This sounds morbid maybe, but it helped me really to find my way and go for it: If you would lie on your deathbed, what would you regret, what would you be proud of and what would you wish you had done in your life? In which points do/did you limit yourself? Change that! You are far away from your deathbed! Don't really let it come that far and regret or miss something at the end of your days...

12. Do you feel better around people pretending and faking themselves to fit in, or people who act and speak authentically, no matter if they rub someone the wrong way? If you chose the second option, why do you fake yourself in some points?

13. Do you feel inspired by authentic persons to be yourself, too? Who do you know, who inspires you that seems so natural and honest to him-/herself?

14. Do you think you would change the world around you to a better if you lived the way you really are, instead of wearing masks? How would it improve other's peoples lives? Do you think it would feel like a permission to them to set themselves free, too?

15. What do you like and love about yourself inside and outside? Just be free, this is not narcism, this is self-love my dear!

16. What would you do if society would not judge you for anything (except crime of course!)? Would you stop wearing make-up/ wear very flashy make-up/ grow your beard in a special way/ wear different clothes than you do right now/ do another job or hobbies/ listen to other music... think about any aspect that comes to your mind!

17. Why do you think it is important to fit into a society full of people who wear masks to get appreciation but also wish to be free and accepted and loved for who they really are?

18. Do you think you will attract the right people for your soul and life-path by faking yourself or do you think you will attract them by being you?

19 What people did you let get close to you in your life, just because you think you had to? Who is not truly good for you deep down inside your heart? Start surrounding you by people who have the qualities you want to develop or awake inside yourself, too. You want to release the funny and adventurous side of you, instead of being only obedient and burgeois? Just look for the ones who already do so, instead of looking for burgeois people and try to fit in just becase they are in the majority!

20. When do you say no when you mean yes and vice versa? What does it make to you? How does it feel emotionally and in your body?

Phew! Enough questions for the beginning! 😊
Of course you can add your own ones to the list!

You now know a bit more how much the manipulation of today's society made you pollute your soil and maybe discovered a lot of weeds they seeded in your garden. By questioning yourself and your life in a loving way, you can slowly start pulling them out again and make your ground ready for your own, personal and authentic soul garden!

But even if the weeds are gone, the soil is still polluted. Time for the second and last step of the first post of the Soul Fertilizer series:

Soul gardening lesson two: How to make your earth healthy and invitating for your sprout to grow again?

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Here is what helped me, and still does, to regain a positive mindset regarding myself and going my way:

1. Positive affirmations

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Affirmations are powerful sentences that can (and, if repeated often enough, will) form your thoughts, mindset and the way you see the world. This can be to our advatage and disadvantage, depending on whether they are positive or negative.

Industry isn't really interested in giving us a positive mindset. Why? Let me tell you something I've learned in my entrepreneur seminar:

Making money works the best when you tell people they have a certain problem and offer them the solution. If they believe, they are pretty, they won't buy your beauty products. If they believe they are eloquent, they won't buy your flirt coaching. If they think they are smart and healthy, they won't buy your supplements.

You see, industry works by giving us the feeling we are incomlete, unhealthy, not satisfied, ugly and much more awful things. Just to make money. Despite the fact that this disgusts me to every cell of my body, it is extremely dangerous to society.

Because we, especially young people who try to develop their personality and find out who they are and how they want to live, get the feeling of not being right. We get the feeling of being worthless untill we follow the call of the manipulative advertising, media and industries.

Over a long period they gave us negative affirmations through TV, internet, magazines and more. The best way to stop this conditioning is to stop watching ads and silly TV shows which try to tell us who is pretty and smart and who is not. And to start turning our negatively manipulated mindset back into a healthy one.

The best way to do so is to wipe out the negative affirmations by positive ones. It might feel weird at the beginning, I know. This is normal. For so many years they told you that you are not alright. Your brain believes it! So be patient. The more you repeat it, the more common and natural it will become to you until you one day start to believe it more and more and one day you'll see that so much positivity an self-love came back to your mindset.

I used to hate myself for who I am and how I look like. But by repeating my positive affirmations I started to discover more and more things I like about myself and really started to rebuild a wonderful and loveing connection to myself again.

Here we go:

  • I am beautiful the way I am, inside and outside
  • I deserve to feel good and love-myself
  • I don't need to have a certain body shape, look, skill or anything media wants to tell me I need to be perfect. I am already perfect in my own unique way. Every aspect of me is good and I appreciate myself for who I am
  • It is beautiful that people are so different. It makes us special and so interesting
  • I deserve to be appreciated and loved for who I am. (I don't need to do anything for that)
  • I am healthy, smart and gorgeous
  • I am happy to be alive and to be who I am
  • I am strong
  • I am here to learn and it's normal and ok to not know anything
  • I am happy
  • I believe in myself
  • I can reach anything I want
  • The only person having power over me is myself
  • I am the creator of my life and I will create it in love
  • Making mistakes is a good way to learn
  • I don't need to become someone, I am already someone wonderful

You can add your own positive affirmations that fit your needs and clean your soul garden from toxic thoughts and beliefs.

2. Be friendly and loving to yourself

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  • Stop talking bad about yourself. Try to get aware of how often a day you say things like „I am such an idiot!“, „My...looks so ugly!“, „I can't do this/ I am too stupid for that!“ and so on. Whenever you catch yourself saying things like that, say stop (loud or in your mind) and start to say something positive like: „I have to learn it and I am happy I can do so!“ or „I am beautiful, even if my hair looks a bit messy today!“

  • When you go to bathroom in the morning, gift yourself with a smile in the mirror. Sounds weirs, but your brain will see you smile and rush your body with endorphines to make you more happy. Look at you and count as many things as you can and want that you like about yourself. Industry and society made us feel like we're ugly and not ok. Time to stop that and focus on the positive side. Do you like your lips, eyes, waist, hair, hands, feet, nose or aspects like your voice or sense of humour...? The more often you do this exercise the more you'll feel comfortable in your body and mind and the more things you will find that you love about yourself!

  • You don't like make-up or shaving your body/beard that much? Then stop using it and doing so! Just because advertising tells you to do so, you don't need to violate yourself in any way. If your souls says „No!“ it's your right to stop and do what feels right. I admit it was also weird to me at the beginning to go shopping without wearing mascara but the more often I did so, when I had a no-make-up-day, the more comfortavle I felt. And it took the pressure away from me to feel like I need to do it. And when I wear make-up now I don't do it because I feel forced, but because I WANT to do so for myself and ejoy doing so as I learned I can feel beautiful in any way. No matter if I don't even wear any make-up or a total fancy one.

  • Don't buy and consume tons of supplements that make you healthier, smarter, more sexy or whatever. It makes companies rich and gives you the feeling of being imperfect. Buy you some healthy food and treat your body like a temple. It's a gift from life and you should make it a good home for your soul. And you don't make it by swallowing tons of pills and powders. You do it by eating good foods, drinking enough water, tea and juices, sleeping enough and move your sexy ass baby

3. Stop buying and consuming things just because you feel you need to

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Whenever you go shopping and want to buy something, ask yourself the following questions:

  • Do I really want it or did advertising, the reduced price, society or something or someone else make me do so and I don't really want it at all?
  • Do I really need it?
  • Would I be happy I bought it in a few weeks/months or is this just an impulsive purchase?
  • Do I try to fill a hole inside me by buying this?
  • Will it make me more happier?
  • Isn't there anything I could spend my money for that would be much better for me and my soul?
  • Do I really like this product?

This way you stop blindly buying anything industry wants to sell you and waste your money and nerves. By questioning your consume behaviour you start questioning industry. And by doing so you'll slowly find out what YOU really want!

4. Be grateful for what you have

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Being grateful for what you have will show you how complete you and your life are. Some of us think we need so much to be happy and loved and we are missing so muc. But when we take a closer look and start to focus on the things we already have and are grateful for it and our life, we recognize how rich we really are.

If you want you can also try my morning and evening ritual for personal growth 😊

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My dear, this was a lot to read and learn for now. Take your time to work on the things I mentioned and be patient with yourself. A flower won't grow faster if you pull it. Just give yourself the time you need to grow and nourish yourself with some positive and healthy Soul Fertilizer. Go out into nature, spend some time alone and be loving to yourself.

Becoming a soul gardener is a beautiful education and not a marathon. But if you start to grow more and more and bloom bright, colorful and so wonderful in the end, it will be soo worth the efforts, you'll see! 😊

If you have any questions, let me now! I will do my best to help you making your sprout a wonderful and stunning flower or tree! 🌻 🌳

Infinite love, light and good vibes for your personal growth! 💓 🌞 🌱

Yours Linda

Thank you so much for reading, joining me and your support! It feels so good to have you here! 💖

P.S.: The pictures used are from Pixabay.com

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Wow such a lovely article giving so much great advise
Laughter is what does it for me @endorphoenix i read in some research papers that the average adult laughs on average 15 times a day and children laugh around 400 so somewhere along the line in our fake conditioning we loose 385 laughs!
Maybe kids can teach us something if we observe a little closer and open our minds to learn from them 😊im going out in nature now to go hug a tree

What an amazing comment my dear, thank you so much!
I am really grateful for your praise! 😊
I totally agree with you! Laughter is sooo important! It is such a beautiful and funny way to wipe out all the negativity. Oh wow...it's so sad to read how seldome adults laugh...They seem to have lost one of the most essential things in life. No wonder so many are depressed.
Aaaaaaw children are really so, so inspiring! 400 laughters a day! This is so cute! I worked in a youth center for one year and I can say: You are SO right! We should listen to kids and learn from them. They really know how to truly live and be in the present moment. Adults always think they have to teach children but I guess they forget how much they can teach to us!
I love watching kids and talking to them. They are so wise 💖
And I guess I must be a kid,too. I laugh all day 😄
I really like the way you think and see the world my dear! I am totally with you 😊

Oooooooh hugging a tree💖 I also do this a lot! Everytime I go to the forest I do so! I feel so connected to them since I am a child 💖
I often go out to visit the forest at the coast and meditate under one of the beautiful trees and hug it after ending my meditation and say thank you. To be honest, I hug a lot of them hahaha! And I also make them some gifts sometimes. That gives me so much love and energy 😊

I hope you had a wonderful time in nature. So nice to have you here my dear! Thank you for your super lovely comment!
Namasté

You look very grounded, content and positivley beaming in your lovely photo @endorpheonix 😊
Wishing you a wonderful day filled with happiness love and many smiles
Namaste to you too 😊20170603_171943.png

Aaaaaw, thank you so much my dear😊
This is so lovely to read!
You are such a beautiful person inside and outside!

What a wonderful photo of you!
I love how positive you look. Such a beautiful smile and so many good vibes! Meeting you in person must be amazing as I even can feel your loving and happy personality through a photo!
You are so peaceful and balanced, it's really relaxing and makes me smile to watch it!😊😊😊

I send you lots of hugs and good vibes and I am really grateful universe made us two meet as I really enjoy your vibes dear 😊

I wish you a blessed and beautiful day, a lot of love, light and peace and countless reasons to laugh!

Namasté 😊

To create a healthy environment for your soul flower to grow and bloom, we start with weeding. And by weeding I mean pulling out all the wrong flowers, all the wrong things you have made your reality, your personality.

Beautiful words!

We should learn how to love ourselves first and awaken our inner happiness.

Really great article, thanks for sharing!

Thank you so much for your praise and compliments dear @diabolika! 💗
It's so nice to read you like my post, I appreciate your comment so much!
Yes, we should reaally learn to love ourselves and awaken our inner happniess.😊
I think it's so sad some people even consider it to be narcistic to do so!

Thank you very much for reading and your support, I am very grateful for that!

Have a wonderful day, dear🌞 💗

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