Evil is ignorance of love

digitalfirehose (58)in #life • 6 years ago

Evil is ignorance of love. I just can't see it any other way. I've tried to reduce it to something else, but that ignorance of love keeps coming back. Love, by the way is not just an intention, it's a skill. Love is the capacity to let other people grow while doing no harm, and that capacity is expressed through the skills we have acquired through a life of learning.

Evil is a supernatural attribution of challenging behavior in kids and adults. For much of the history of Western civilization, it was assumed that kids were born evil and parents had a duty to beat the evil out of their kids. Kids were assumed to be less than human, too. Therefore, parents had a right to beat the evil out of their kids.

The term "evil" is also a distraction. Society refuses to hold itself accountable for the acts of a lone murderer in the same way that an outfielder looks at his glove after dropping a long fly ball to left field. We say that someone is evil so that we don't have to look at our part in his behavior. For everyone, without exception, learns how to behave from someone else.

Humans are the great imitators of the planet. We pass down skills from generation to generation through imitation. From prehistory to this day, we teach by demonstration. Babies learn to walk by watching other people walk. Babies learn to talk by watching and listening to parents and other caregivers. Much of who we are is learned by watching someone else. And that includes challenging behavior.

As a young adult, I learned to hold my tongue. I have learned to hold my tongue from the impulse of saying things I probably shouldn't say. I know all too well the folly of saying something to someone else just to punish them for some perceived slight. So I keep my mouth shut and observe. I have learned to assumed ignorance before malice. I have learned to wait and let the feeling pass. Then I can decide what it is that I really want to say without intent to punish, with intention to err on the side of peace.

I err on the side of peace. I do so because anything else is not love. I start with an intention for peace and let it flow from there. This does not mean that I accept an offensive act and stand there for more. This does mean that I can walk away from someone who does not start with an intention of peace. I can withdraw my support of someone who does not start with an intention of peace.

Lately, I've been watching Goliath on Amazon Prime. There are some familiar actors working with some great writing and the plots in each show are hard to predict. So that takes me away from reducing the show to a long melee of tit-for-tat. There is also some humor to go along with it that keeps me engaged.

But as I reflect on the dialog carried out by the characters in Goliath, it is clearly dramatized for punishment: sarcasm, threats, and retorts. They're all there. And things can escalate quickly. It is clear to me that the writers are thinking it through. What happens if I say "X" to someone else?

This is why I hold my tongue. Because I think it through. I consider the likely responses I can expect if I say something to somebody with intention of punishing them. I also consider the unknown responses I can expect from someone who is feeling threatened by something that I say. I remind myself that I do not want to know how far someone is willing to go to prove that they're right, when they're angry. To speak with intention to punish is not love.

Acts of evil are committed out of ignorance of love. For someone who has had his need for love met will have no need for harming anyone else. Children raised with love will have no need to lie, to cheat, to steal, to hurt. Children raised without violence, will have no need to impose their will through the threat of force upon someone else. Children raised with love will have no need to impose their will upon others to get what they want. Children raised on love will know how to ask for help in getting their needs met. Love is knowing how to get your needs met without imposing your will upon others.

I know, this sounds all dreamy and unicorny, doesn't it?

Try going a day without criticizing another person. Try going a day without a sarcastic retort. Try going a day without threatening someone with something or loss of something, in order to get what you want. Try going a day with giving other people the benefit of the doubt. Try demonstrating the behavior you want to see in other people. Try going a day without criticizing yourself. I do all of this every day, to the greatest extent possible. I'm not perfect at it, but I can say that I live a life of relative peace, and that is evidence of the effort that I put into each day.

Each day, I make a conscious effort to live in peace with my family, with my coworkers and with myself. My stomach and my chest are my moral compass. I ask myself if what I'm about to say will require someone else to change, or if my request gives them my power.

I comport myself so that I can sleep well at night. I have no adversaries, and I need not look over my shoulder for anything. And when I do make a mistake, I make amends and modify my behavior. I write about my experience and learn from it. I read and write to change how I think.

Because I know love, I have no reason to be evil. When my needs are met, there is no need to be evil. Even if my needs are not met, that's only temporary. For there is still no need for evil because I know how to get my needs met through love, cooperation, communication.

People believe they must be evil when they are ignorant of love, and they do not know how to meet their own needs. Evil doesn't meet any human need. It never has and it never will. Evil can only flourish with ignorance of love.

Happily, evil is dissolved by love.

Write on.