Living the Dream

^{Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans. —John Lennon}

For me, this would be more like "Life is what happens to me while I'm busy making plans for other people." Back in the day, I was planning my own grand holiday until it finally happened. Then the days on the road took way longer than I could imagine. As you know, anything beautiful can turn sour at some point. Things get old and places lose their charm. So, I wanted a place to go back to. It is my turn to give something back to the world. The great thing about my journey is that it gave me a sound idea. Something that I won't give up no matter what, a purpose, a home.

This time around, it's about other people's grand holidays. It's part of my work or business to plan other people's travel. I'm planning on how to give them the best experience in another country. The same thing that other people gave to me when I was traveling in their countries. They planned on where to take me or show me around. They made me feel special and this is why my journey is truly unforgettable. It's all about the people. It's learning that there's something good in humanity out there. Now it's time to pay it forward while making a living at the same time. I'm planning on how to help them live their lives. Now don't get me wrong, I really enjoy this, especially now that I am working on my own and I have control of everything. I am free to be creative and craft a holiday experience that will suit their needs and interests. A holiday experience that will give them lifelong memories.

I complain so much about not having a lot of friends here when it's really my own fault. There are a few ones inviting me to come down to town to spend some time with them. But there's something in me that just won't change - and it's fine. If I don't like certain people right at the beginning, I just tend to keep them at arm's length especially if they have something to do with my business. Sadly for me, I learned the hard way that people in business are just people in the business. Friends are different. My past disappointments with people just completely closed the opportunities for possible friendships and meaningful human connections. I know I am not even perfect but my perfectionism made me expect more from people. Now I prefer those who are just coming and going - my clients. At least, there's some kind of scarcity in there. I tend to miss them and value them more.

Getting busy planning other people's lives just gave me an excuse to not meet other people around here. I think my life is better this way. It means I'm more dedicated to becoming successful in my work avoiding all the possibilities of drama from new relationships. I have accepted that my life is no longer friend-centric or relationship-centric. My life is more about my strong passion to be the best in what I do. I make sure that I consistently do something dream-related every day, whether it's responding to an email inquiry or writing a useful content for my website. So I guess, as I get busier making travel plans for other people, I get busier planning my own dream life in the process, or should I say, living the dream too. It's win-win.

The advantage of having no other responsibilities in life is that I can give my whole time to other people. Isn't that what most people like? To make them feel special. To validate their significance. Giving them my whole time and attention mean a lot to their holidays. If I will be guiding clients or visitors, I have no kids to worry about at home or a man demanding me to spend my time with him more. It also means that I'm more focused on my passion. It's not going to wake up one day and tell me it does not like me anymore. I can keep it for as long as I want.

One thing I like about my business is that I'm not just a travel agent, well, someone actually told me that when I was still just a travel agent. I couldn't control myself back then so I said something that upset the client through email. The response was a natural defensive mechanism of people. To hurt others when they are hurt. I took it personally, that moment affected me because I couldn't care less about the company I worked for. Now, I don't get hurt anymore, at least not for a long time. This is about giving my best and understanding people. My perspective changed when I'm working on something that I created.

I'm no longer just a travel agent because I'm actually part of people's holidays. I plan other people's day to day activities here on the island and I'm included in it. I get the perks of scuba diving, boat tours, trip to certain places and eating out or everything else that I ask for in life. What else do I want? This is the dream.

This is why I am so determined to be the best in what I do. And I'm a pretty stubborn woman, no poverty-related drama, disappointing people, discouraging events could stop me. My last tours I was feeling like wow, this is how it is to make something happen. I still couldn't forget those moments until now. And once you've tasted the flight, there's no turning back.

^{For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return. - Leonardo da Vinci}

I realize that this is not just about willpower. It is not about denying myself all the good things in life. It's more about doing something dream-related, however small it is, will turn into something great in time. It's being able to consistently and persistently do something positive that has something to do with your dream or passion. It's being able to block those negatives and just push into doing something you believe will happen - while of course, being realistic at the same time.

If my life is all about living up to other's expectations or pleasing people, I will never get to this point. Like damn, I will probably not even be able to launch my own website. I've seen a lot of people give up because they probably listen to other people (families, friends, loved ones) or give into temporary signs of defeat. My advantage is that I am so used to defeat, trouble, poverty, failure, disappointment that I finally came to this point in my life saying - fuck everything, I'm just gonna do what I want now. I've experienced almost everything that I have nothing to lose. Nothing surprising and disappointing anymore. It's like loving without hope.

I'm prepared to go all the way because if I'm not, I wouldn't even start. I know what I'm getting into and I'm in the game for the long haul. And if in the process it lets me enjoy my own life too, then this is the dream. If every day I get to live the dream then perhaps in time, it will bring me unconquerable results. Living my little dream within a big dream. That's the dream.