Decluttering My Life

Yesterday, I decided to sell some stuff that I'm not really using. It's not that I don't really want those things anymore, they are just annoying to look at. Aside from stress, those things can also bring up so many emotions. I figure it's time to get my clutter under control. It's time to remove the excess baggage in my life, literally and figuratively.

While a lot of people out there are better at accumulating stuff, like living that typical consumeristic lifestyle of go go go and get get get, I'm kind of living my life the opposite. I think it must be my years on the road that made me become accustomed to this minimalist life. Back then, I was just living with only the things that I had in my backpack. When I had to move out of my apartment, I could do so with ease. I could freely move from one place to another. It was so liberating not to worry about stuff or anything to lose. Then I decided to settle down and become slightly civilized again, but I am still not interested in acquiring a lot of unnecessary stuff. I value saving more for experiences than material things. I don't want to stagnate in a house full of junk all my life. Trying something new or going somewhere else is what makes my existence more meaningful.

For some reason, I always have this feeling that I will leave anytime. I'm really just a nomad at heart. I started moving around when I was a kid and we didn't have a lot of stuff to bring. Now looking at some stuff that I have accumulated over the past couple of months makes me feel stressed. There's this nagging feeling that I want to get rid of them soon. I don't have a lot of possessions, most are just essential house stuff that helps in living a decent life in one place. There were just things I bought that I thought I would use but didn't. I'd rather keep things that will motivate or inspire me, and get rid of anything that only makes me feel guilty.

Materialism only gives immediate gratification and temporary satisfaction, it won't replace the kind of happiness you will get when you spend more on experiences and adventures. A lot of people complain about not having money to travel or even gas for a road trip to nature, but to think about all those unnecessary things that they buy or bought, their complaints don't make sense to me. You don't have to travel the world sure but there are a lot of crazy things to try and places to go to where you are too. There's absolutely no reason in this annoyingly short life not to try anything new - whatever it is.

I guess my perspective has changed when I traveled. I'm no longer that person who buys new clothes everytime I get my paycheck. And it's probably because I no longer live in a city and my work or business does not really require me to impress people by wearing fashionable office clothes or fancy makeup. If I see a messy closet full of clothes that I don't really wear, I will only feel guilty. What a waste I think! I should have not bought a lot or someone else can wear those. My goal in life is not to buy more stuff but to afford more life experiences. Thinking that I might leave anytime soon helps in getting rid of my stuff as early as now. Leaving like moving somewhere, traveling or dying - it does not matter, I won't bring any of these things someday.

If I see my place more organized and spacious, I am able to concentrate more on my tasks and other things that matter. I know very well that having excess stuff can have a negative impact on my life. If my place is cluttered and chaotic, I feel anxious. It's like those things compete for my attention. After selling my stuff yesterday, I feel happier not because I have some extra money, but because of this liberating feeling. It's like I got rid of things to worry about.

Although there are artists out there who thrive on chaos, like a messy desk or studio, I feel like I'm more creative and productive when I have a minimalist environment. I'm not a neat freak or something, I guess I just prefer organized chaos or having nothing. A messy place makes me feel suffocated and moody, except when I'm in nature, nature is a beautiful chaos. It's funny because the last thing I should want right now is space, but still, I want more of it. Wider, freer and vast emptiness! I can't imagine someone disrupting my routine or filling up my place with a lot of other stuff, this will make crazier. This is why I've never really liked the idea of a roommate or housemate or even a husband. Someone has to live in a different house and let me keep my peace and space - for the safety and benefit of everyone involved.

Whenever I go to a mall and pass through an aisle with a lot of tempting stuff to buy, I always get this I-will-only-leave reminder. I can walk and move on, no hard feelings. Besides, when I let junk pile up, it just serves as a reminder of all the things that I haven't accomplished. Like that yoga mat I never used, I have to get rid of it. I love my ukulele but I just don't have the time to play and practice right now. The reality is that I hang onto far more objects than I need, and instead of feeling motivated, those things just make me feel guilty. For those who are not used to getting rid of stuff and living on the bare minimum, this can be quite difficult. But I think the benefits outweigh the negatives. Living with less will actually give you more in life.