Are You Addicted to Finding the Next Great Experience, Event or Project?
When I was "young and hopeful," one of my father's friends gave me the piece of advice that "life is an adventure to be experienced, not a battle to be won."
Of course, we all get loads of different kinds of advice... but a few pieces stick with us, in the long run. A large part of my adventure became about trying to understand myself and the deeper meaning of life.
As a result, I spent many years in pursuit of self-development, trying to "better myself" and attending many retreats and workshops revolving around the central idea of "making my best self." Or-- as some might call it-- seeking enlightenment.
The Darker Side of Seeking Wisdom
Are you looking for the next better sunset?
After a few years of seeking and studying, I started to notice some common patterns.
For one, it seemed like all these supposedly "wise" people were all pretty much using different words to say the same thing... and I was getting very little wiser in the process... but my bank account would definitely get lighter, on a regular basis.
But I also noticed that a lot of the same people were showing up, time after time. They would talk about where they had been and what they had learned... but quickly would shift their attention to "the next great thing" they were going to attend. Another workshop; another retreat; another guru; another answer...
Maybe that sounds natural... and granted it's generally a good thing to seek wisdom and enlightenment, but if you're constantly chasing from thing to thing in an eternal quest for the next great "X," it may be time to just stop and sit down. Especially if you've been "on the path" for 20 years... and are still looking. Which a number of these people I'd meet seemed to be... a bit like the stereotype of "the eternal college student" with 14 degrees, but who has never actually had a job.
What I Learned From Seeking Enlightenment
Yellow flowers in our garden
As I started to watch people and experience life, it became clearer and clearer that there is no magical "it" that's going to happen when the next "wise man" speaks or persuades you that their "method" is your answer. There's no "everything" that's suddenly going to change.
The thing is, there is no "it," there is only you. And there is no place you can go to find "it," because wherever you do go-- you bring yourself with you. And that means that no matter what some guru might tell you, your bad habits and wounds that are causing you problems and pain... will still be there.
Keep in mind that this has nothing to do with ambition, this is all about your state of mind; how you approach life.
Our Addiction to Finding THE Answer
What I observed along the way is that there are lots and lots of people who actually use their supposed quest to find the magical "it" that will make their lives perfect as a rationalization for wearing what I can only describe as "cognitive blinders" as a ways to avoid dealing with real life, as it exists in front of them.
Purple clover
In some strange way, they become addicted to "seeking," and actually end up jonesing for the next great gig that might give them the answer.
So what's really going on here?
When we are addicted to finding "the answer," we are in a place of constantly seeking. When we are seeking, it's an artificially created situation... and we're also admitting that we don't yet have what we're seeking. Consider it this way... if you are looking for your keys, it also means-- by your own admission-- that you don't have your keys!
On the other hand, if you back off and simply allow things to happen... be OPEN... while also being present in your world, doing the laundry, going to work and feeding your cat. So stop looking, and start living.
Keep in mind that this pattern can be applied to many things other than "seeking enlightenment." Ever met someone who's always looking for "the next great job" that's going to make their life perfect? And they have had thirteen jobs in the last four years? Or maybe someone has spent 20 years pursuing the "cure" to some pervasive health issue.
How about YOU? Have you ever felt "caught" in a pattern of seeking answers... that actually kept you from implementing these answers? Have you being part of the "job of the month club," as a way to avoid dealing with other issues in your life? Have you met anyone who seems to be eternally "seeking" but is never "finding?" Have you ever spent more time "looking for a solution" than actually dealing with something? Leave a comment-- share your experiences and feedback-- be part of the conversation!
(As usual, all text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is original content, created expressly for Steemit)
Published 20170824 17:58 PDT
Man, I miss your posts all the time and when I finally catch one, it is like taking a long drink from a spring fed mountain pond man.
You always have so much good stuff in a post like I have said before.
Another undervalued post!
There is so much I have been through and seen regarding some of this in here.
Some people who have been so mean to me and critical or lied about me...... fit some of the patterns in this post and it is ringing some bells right now.....
Hey Barry, good to "see" you-- I guess I'm on a slightly different posting schedule these days! Anyways, thanks for the kind words.
You have to stay true to yourself... and when someone else has a problem with who you are and what you stand for... that tends to be about their issues, not yours. And yeah... mean people suck.
Nice post @denmarkguy.. Thankyou for sharing.
It's like that Zen saying, "If you find Buddha, kill him." Meaning that if you are seeking enlightening and you say you've reached it, you have not. :) Thanks for sharing this post with us and teaching us.
I'm not sure if we are talking about the same thing, but I have been to that place where I found inner peace. It took a lot of work, but I got there and it felt great! Then with all the twists and turns of life, I stopped working at it and found myself back on the outside again. I guess it is because I'm over-all quite content with my life as it is that I'm not driven to get back there. I'm happy to know how it felt and I'm fine with that much. Perhaps one day I will be motivated to get back there again.
Interesting... I am glad to see that you are content with life in general. Most people on this planet cannot say those words honestly. :)
I suppose it all depends on where one is at in their life. Most young people are still full of ambition and have goals to reach. As we check off the goals from our bucket list, our desire for achieving becomes less. There are still lots of things I want to do, but they hold much less importance than simply being happy to be able to enjoy another day in relatively healthy body.
From my own observations, I would say that a lot of older people who are relatively healthy and have enough to feed and shelter themselves are content with life. Many of those who have more than they need tend to never be satisfied with what they have. It seems they fear the unknown of the future and are constantly hoarding 'just in case'. And others who have far too much seem to think that life is a game, and the only way to win is to have the most.
Great comment!! Really well put. I like your observation about older people. I agree vehemently.
I used to seek for a solutions to my tough problems in life usually I take some time every day to mediate and let my mind go free to try to figure out, why is that happening to me?! aterf a long time I realized that we're the problem and we're the solutions, when we see ourselves more deeply we'll know that there is always a solution for anything we thought it hasn't, maybe we look at the wrong place or we don't even see the full image clearly.
absolutely life is not a battle it's an adventure when you experience the game you'll play better and better till and eventually you'll gain wisdom on your way.
@denmarkguy thank's for sharing
That is very close to my own saying: Wherever you go, there you are! In other words, you can't run away from yourself OR your problems.
There are a couple of situations that this post brings to mind.
Quite a few years ago, I was attending (as support person) drug addiction meetings. The person running the meeting told us that he has read an entire library of books dealing with addictions and he remembers everything that is in those books. He knows all about how to quit. The problem, he said, was implementing that knowledge!
There is someone I know very well that frequently posts those words of wisdom on Facebook. I was fooled by all those posts, thinking this person is very wise indeed. What I found out later was that these wise words are what this person would like to experience, but for some reason cannot or chooses not to put into actual practice the necessary frame of mind.
I see this perpetual seeking of enlightenment as much the same situation. People know what they want, they just can't bring themselves to actually DO it. So they continue searching for someone who will help them to do it. What they don't realize is that no matter the technique, there is nobody but YOU that can change who you are! It is you who needs to find the will to actually make the change on your own.
Hi @denmarkguy, I just stopped back to let you know your post was one of my favourite reads and I included it in my Steemit Ramble. You can read what I wrote about your post here.
Very thoughtful and insightful post. I see many people seeking enlightenment, peace, etc... and I see many that say they have the answers and yet, there is always a price for their teachings, which like you said, they all seem to be saying the same thing with different words. Funny thing is, Jesus never taught self-analysis or self-improvement, he taught service to others. And he promised "peace that surpasses all understanding". Thanks for a soul-searching read. And thanks to @shadowpub for advocating you. Followed, upvoted and resteemed.