I Am Much In Debt With My Niece But I Also Have To Think About My Mother's Birthday

This coming major Holiday in my country which is Christmas my nieces and nephews are expecting some gifts from me. Of course I will not be able to give them toys much less large amounts of money although I also want to be more galant in giving them gifts so that when I die at least there will be someone who will cry.

Obviously I am not pooping cash and even though I am my butthole will bleed because if the kind of expenses that I am managing for my Parathyroid which really had made my saved funds to dry-up. Soon I will have to cash-out my steem because I have no one to turn to except myself alone because I do not think that my siblings are willing to help me out, I just feel that they too have given-up on me a long time ago.

So even though I must cough-out some money but due to my very limited way of earning and a big hole in my pocket where the money drains out so fast because of my medicines I am now just trying to scrimp on my expenses and now already had forgotten about my wants. I just have to control the way my money goes out since the value of cryptos are really depressed right now especially steem that really cashing out would just be like a pain in my feelings as no one really wants to cashout with these low or bargain crypto prices.

Well I thought that steem's price would just remain better last year, little that I knew that it will revert back to pre-joyful years of its existence. So I am just paying the price of hodling but at least I was able to cash some out which is nonetheless better than nothing.

Anyway it is my mother's birthday on the 24th and I just want to make my mother happy by also giving her gifts, mainly cash because so that she can use it for what she wants and to also save me from thinking what she needs or wants for that matter. I do not want the old folk to get sad with her birthday since she is really expecting something from us his children plus to me with my nieces and nephews.

Actually my mother doesn't want me to give her anything because she knows that my expenses are off the charts but it would be bad if I won't hand her something on her birthday just for me to let her know that I appreciate her love and support for her problematic and such-a-drag in their lives prodigal son.

I am just sad that I had caused my parents and even my siblings such a heartache over these 18 years of me being a dialysis patient plus the pre-dialysis years as well that I am also sick since my kidney failure I think developed ever since I was in primary school where I suffered from bouts of severe headache which I know was the start of the onset of my kidney disease and later failure.