My time is coming and I am forever grateful.

in #life3 years ago (edited)

My time as I fight cancer takes a toll mentally and physically on my body and brain. As one who feels that I need to fight and even when I feel a burden you all have come to help me on this journey. Even though I know it is a journey that I cannot win and that a time will come when no longer can my body fight even though my brain wants too. It is honestly my love for @lynncoyle1 ( MY BABYLOOO ) as I have called her since I laid eyes on her that keeps me going. My life has been one of great love from my parents but now they are gone. She has made my life complete and now I am content with the outcome. You see my life with her these last 9 or so years has made my life complete. A life that I can say that made me live again, love again and it's all because of her love and support. I never knew love could play such a role in ones life but it has. We have been basically inseperable 24/7 and with her kids I have a legacy to carry on my values, my ideas and again I can say I am content.

I have to say meeting her was a fluke and the minute I saw her I was breathless,blown away and totally in love. When we met she stood from the table to meet me and at that moment I knew I had to love her, protect her and forever be there for her no matter what the outcome of our first date was. I knew the ravens were telling me she was the one. The one I had waited my whole life for. I need to say that my parents never were close to my ex-wife. They felt she was wrong for me. The day I got married my Mom tried to tell me and believe it or not tried to cancel the wedding and offer to fly or pay any costs if I did not marry her. Well you can see Your MOM is always right LOL. My father just said to my Mom that it was a choice for me and I would have to live with the consequences.

Upon meeting my love we travelled to Ontario, Canada as My father was dieing and my Mom was already gone. We got all my siblings and spent a day with my Dad at the care home but Lynn took special interest in my Dad. When the day ended with what my sister calls Lynns day he whispered in my year that my Mom would be happy as I had fnally found the right one for me. He said to remember mthe Courteau rules to love and most of all respect her and all women in every way. He said he would see Mom soon and that he would fill her in. Let me tell you my Dad was basically starving to death as he could only eat this pudding crap from the strokes. Lynn made me and my brother go get beer, rum, coke vodka and everything else as he was drooling that shitty pudding. My sister was freaking and Lynn stone faced looked at her and said. What are they going to throw him out, Well after that we hung as a family in courtyard all day. Lynn the fed my Dad the fave of his life. RUM and Coke and he never dribbled a drop, LOL.

He died two days later. The last pic I have of me dad is him giving me the finger. It was a joke between us, I knew then that My love was accepted from by my family. You see I had already decided she was the one and that no matter what I would be with her. I grew up with many rules but number one was respect all women. My parents were both succesful in the life in everything. My Mom graduated university and worked for a large Corperation. So being the youngest I was spoiled. In the end my Dad felt that finally I was grounded in the sense of life and he knew then that I would continue his morals. I am too this day forever grateful that I also have Lynn's kids to carry the torch and rules of my father as I got to teach them the things my father taught me.

Anyway my post is not about this actually but to say thank you to all the people at Steemit that I will forever be grateful and I hope in my next life I can watch over you all but only until my love joins me because then again I will need to fly with her and the ravens and discover things in the next realm. I do believe life moves on just without the broken body.

Here we go and if I forget some one I apologize now.

@lynncoyle1 - No words needed here my Babylooo. You are my reason for life, you are my love, my heart, my soul. You are the wind the rain the moon and sun.......You burn in my heart eternally

@davemccoy- A man with a heart and the love that many here see and share I am sure. He is the one to go to bat for all of you here no matter the consequences. no matter the cost. He is a friend that all us should be priveledged to have. I am glad to say he is one of my best friends in this life and I know he will be in the next.

@thedarkhorse- Another friend here to us all. A man whom believes in the pay it forward rules of life. Who measures life in my eyes by respect. morals and honesty. I will forever remember him as a friend I could call in a pinch. Now we have never met in person and I wish I would or could have. I would tell his kids that there Dad is an amazing friend to many and that they should always remember that.

@themanwithnoname- He is a gentleman in every aspect of the word. A true friend who even while on holidays shared his auto upvote. He is like his name. A mystery man with a heart of gold and a friend whom we all should be lucky to meet in our life.

@simplymike- A Belgiam girl from across the world whom actually has respect and love to spare and checks in regularly even though she is in a tough situation at the moment. I will forever be happy to say that she is an amazing friend

@donkeypong- A man of few words as I call him. he shows up to help in a way that we should all be thankful. He up votes you without asking for fanfare or anything in return and yes being a whale here as you all say shows that Tom is a true gentleman in every sense of the word. I might add @analisa ansd @kevinwong as they seem to be a team LOL

@edprivat- Here is a man and great musician who not only dedicated music to our situation but also has done requests from myself and Lynn to each other when in reality he already has enough to do I am sure. If I was healthy I would fly to South africa to shake his hand, hug him and say I respect you more that I could ever show.

@jbreheny- A man who is now travelling the States yet still takes the time to say hello and check in. A man I am glad to say you are my friend and I thank you for being here for me. I will never forget

@apolymask- He was one of my firest people I met here and even though I am not in his league when it comes to Steemit he has ben a good friend and answers any question I have ever asked. I know I am probably interupting him as his contest grows and grows yet he never makes me feel like a burden, ever.

@galenkp- well he makes me laugh, been there for my girl and tells me that they made a movie about me. Monty Python's life of Brian. To this day he has motivated me to write about my good times too and I am thankful for his motivational chats lol. Even though he did call me a idiot once, in a joking manner. BTW I too put ketchup on almost everything. Thanks for being a good friend here to both of us and I am asking that you continue to for Lynn when I am gone. Thats a test ok

@abh12345- What can I say, you are a big boy here and I am a minnow but you have always treted me with respect and honestly that means more to me than you can imagine. Thanks for all the help with my questions too. Thanks for being my friend.

@tryskele- The girl from bum fuck no where colorado. Who has a festival for a chicken that lost his head. I truly love you like a sister and some day I will hug you tight in this life or the next life

@glenalbrethsen- you might friend and Lynn type the damnest longest comments ever but I am glad. Got to find out some interesting things. Please continue to chat with my girl and your job is to keep her motivated in Ashers league. Thanks for being a friend. in my heart foreve

@wolfhart- we are two peas in the same pod. All I can say is live, love and laugh my friend.

@angelacs- You my new friend are an inspiration to me and I will remember that always

@johndoer123- Thank you my friend for having a kind soul and a great heart. Thank you always

@beeyou- I have no words other than to say I am always and forever grateful for meeting you. You have the heart of a angel and much love to share. Keep it up

@yogajill- many thanks for motivating me and helpingme through tough times. Many hugs

@grolelo- well another donkeypong type. very amazing and thank you. A man of few words but a friend that is there no matter what

@insideoutlet and #shai-hulud- Another girl that has followed my story and supported and motivated me. much love to you both.

@johnjgeddes and @countrygirl- two amazing people with amazing talent that got me through many a tough day. Thank you from my heart

@hitmeasap -who in his own way has come to help my love and I ask that you continue to do so. I am forever grateful for the way you do ythoings without asking anything in return. You sir have my upmost respect

@willymac - your words and support I can repeat off my tongue because you have a way with words sir and I thank you

@plushzilla- well here is a friend beyond friends. All I can say, he knows what I mean

@terminallyill - not much to say but love you brother

@bashadow- Thank you my friend for just that. your friendship and support. you are a good man

@charisma777- Even when you had tough times you still showed love and support. Thank you

@grace44 - words not needed. love you girl

Now there are more that I know I am skipping so here the list of whom has my respect beyond my words
@wanderlass - where are you

I know I am missing many and I am sorry if I did. My mind is a hard thing at times lol. Anyway I will start to power down and slowly fade away my friends. I need rest and hinestly the strength is hard to find most days. I will be here a few months I hope but please in my heart I love you all, truly. I ask you to remember in a previous post to be there for Lynn and help her. I know as friends you will and sorry for asking again but it makes me feel better.

My Dad

my Family

My Love


What a beautiful post baby! Thank you for your words to me, and to everyone else here as well. So awesome ;) xo

fancy seeing you here!! beer cheers my girl, happy friday! xx

Okay, so I was sent here by @terminallyill and here I see all of my peeps from abh123's curation and engagement list! So now I feel more comfortable giving you a 100% upvote because TI and I are in #thealliance playground together as "kids." Go figure! Anyhoo, my beer cheers girl (your BabyLoo) has become one of my favs as well as many many on your list. I'm actually surprised I have not run into you. All this said, I wish you much love & peace on your journey. Yours, Eagle

Hey there, Thank you. sorry responding late. pain unbearablelast few days. My girl talks about you alot....Thank you

@briancourteau i am very sad to hear of your pain. have you heard of energy work? i wanted to ask you but was a little hesitant. someone almost paid for a medicine card/energy work for you and lynn but we weren't sure if you two would be accepting. i do long distance and i help many people in your situation. let me know and i am sending blessings to you. ps. it will ease some of your discomfort and pain. xx

so nice. what does it entail as my sleep is screwed up and some days cannot get out of bed

@briancourteau you would not need to get out of bed, if you want you and lynn can both be in there and we can meet on discord and talk about it. i'm thankful that you commented back and i am thinking of you two every day. blessings.

@briancourteau, stay strong my brother, please. I love you man, you are a strong and good hearted person, as well as one of the handful of people on here I can consider a true friend and brother! I talked to my partner and we should be able to get launch going ASAP. I am sorry it has not been sooner, I honestly feel terrible over it. Never doubt the most important thing, that we are your family and will do anything that we can for you! We are here for you brother!

Try using the #goodkarma tag when you post also, to draw some attention from some of the benefactors on there that we will be utilizing. As always my friend, stay in charge of this shit and give it Hell. The world needs you here, you cannot go anywhere man. I need you and the community needs you here bro. Keep fighting!

This was an absolutely amazing post by the way, thank you for sharing this with all of us! I always look forward to reading and connecting to your work. Please, continue to share with us all. We love you man, from our hearts, you are family to us, @greetersguild, in this life and in any other. Continue to put up the good fight, you inspire so many of us in ways you do not know!

Thank you so much. too much pain to really respond properly but everything you typed I feel the same about you

Lynn and I have been back and forthing for a few months now, but your last post was the first where I really talked to you, and I'm glad I did. It's amazing how paths can cross, even if they're actually years or miles apart. Life's got a way of connecting us all if we'll let it.

I really don't think Lynn needs a lot of motivation for Asher's Leagues. Kind of think of it, she was doing better before I came along. :)

However, I'm not planning to change what I do for as long as I can help it, so inevitably Lynn and I will continue to cross paths, too. We don't ever seem to be more than a comment or two away.

whoa! i tell you most of the people on this list seem to be on the abh's weekly curation/engagement. Also, i'm in groups with most of them. great taste! :)

Truth to tell, I'm surprised to be on one for him. I'm happy to be by association, though, via Lynn. And it's true, the leaguers are big on the list. I'm glad. This is a part of what the league is capable of being, not only a potential means to keep Steemit honest, but a support and safety network when needed. I'm happy to be a part of it, even if I'm kind of the partypooper because I'm not in multiple groups. :)

why? you are friends with Lynn and it makes sense.
no worries, some people are just not into groups. i try to grab many of my boo boos (friends) but they refuse. oh well. happy friday!

I'm here :) You have a wonderful family and parents who loved you and raised you well. I am sure your mom is very happy when you met Lynn.

A lot of people love you and Lynn. We will be here for Lynn. It's sad but I totally understand that you need to rest. I wish you well in your health, I still believe in healing.

thanks so much friend. Your comments hit close to my heart. Thank you

@briancourteau thank you for your kind words. You and @lynncoyle1 are a couple of the people who I've met here on steemit that I really hope to meet one day.

I am sorry I never met you years ago my friend. I wou;d have been drinking Sangria with you

I am sorry i fprgot to add yopu as the se lynn grin is a bog deal in helping me laugh. plwase forgive me.

There's nothing to forgive, @briancourteau! You and @lynncoyle1 have already thanked me a bazillion times for my little bits of silliness, so please don't give it another thought. Sending loads of love, hugs, and other good juju to you both. ❤️❤️

We've got your back mate. We'll make sure @lynncoyle1 is looked after

I love the story about your parents and your's and Lynn's. I mentioned to Lynn when I met my current husband, it was the same thing. We just knew over the time in our relationship we've only been separated a short time and we feel empty when the other's not there. I wish people could understand this kind of love. And I feel the same way, I have come to love as a brother (you actually talk to me so I guess more than a brother LOL)

I'm glad that my crazy random thoughts have made you smile. One day at a time...We will see Mike the Headless chicken together!!

I can feel you and your well wished within the post articles. Take good care of yourself.
I say that again, think positive about yourself.
Best wishes

I am sorry I forgot youir name on my list. I truly am.

Not an issue bro. Most important is you get well soon. The rest is secondary.

You two sure do know how to get me to wash out my eyes out, every single time. I know I say it every time but you two are such an inspiration. You show the world exactly what true love looks like. Your love for each other is out of this world, that's for sure! You have fought a good fight, one that many would have given up on by now. I can't begin to imagine your pain, of course I want you to continue the fight because you have touched so many lives with your strength.

However, I hate that you are in so much pain and I know exactly why you haven't given up but you already know that when the time comes, Lynn is going to feel you around her. You won't leave her side and you wont leave her alone, she will feel you in the wind, in the warmth of the sun, when the birds show up and the butterflies visit her plants. You and her are both very loved by this community and I feel so honored to have had the chance to have you both in my life.

I love the picture of your dad and I see where you get your strength! Lynn sounds like such a fun person and I love how she took control, lol. She brought him comfort it sounds like, just when I thought that woman couldnt get any more amazing!!

We love you too Brian and Lyn, no matter what will happen, my husband and I are praying for you always and thankful that you shared your life with us. Hugs

Man you are hell of a human being, taking the time to thank everyone right is beyond humble, I would be saying " screw you people I am dying" but instead you take the time to be thankful, which mean a lot about your nature!
Thanks for the shout out , and I know I repeat my self like a stuck vinyl but it's not over until it's over

Brian, I'm really proud of how hard you've been fighting to stay and spend as much time as you can with Lynn. It hasn't been easy, but you've been pushing through. When many people would be complaining about the situation or the pain, you're positive and upbeat as much as you can be. Not that it's a bad thing to fill us in on what's happening. And no one could blame you if you complained, but I admire your positive attitude even in these incredibly difficult times. You are an inspiration.

Thank you for sharing about your dad. It was fun to get to hear about how Lynn was able to instantly bond with your family and it says something about who she is. I'm glad you were able to recognize that she was special as soon as you met her.

I hope that as you're resting you're able to enjoy the time together with @lynncoyle1. It's been a pleasure getting to know you both. Thank you for your kind words, my friend. They mean a lot. I don't always do things correctly, but I try to do the right thing. I'm glad to help you out. That's what friends do. Bless you!

Putting your thankfulness to words is a testament to your heart. Thank you for sharing your life and story with us here, and thank you for inspiring others to reveal their hearts as well.

The only thing missing from this post was a picture of you flipping the bird to put beside your dads.

Hi mate, such a nice post you put together here. I'm sure each of the people you mention, and those you don't, think as highly of you as you do them, (us). Your legacy is the family you and @lynncoyle1 have created and in the memories you leave with them. We all go eventually mate, but it's not our passing that is left to recall, it's the life we lived seen through the eyes of relationships we created. It sounds like you had a great one surrounded by family and what more could a man ask for right?

Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default is something I say a lot. I think you've done that.

Oh, we got your six bro. :)

You know the birds, they will help. And Lynn was right for your dad, what were they going to do kick him out? I like that. I hope in my last days if I want a smoke again, or a drink again, why the heck not, it not like they are going to shorten my life anyways.

Worry not to much about Lynn, I think thee will be a support group for her, here and elsewhere. You are still here, you will still be here tomorrow. You never know spontaneous remission, it does happen, and they (the white coats) don't know how or why or any of that. We are all sending out our hopes for you. When the time comes, open that box that pandora left and let hope fly free.

So moved and touched by this. Don't even know where to start but all i can say is a lot of people including me have learned a lot from your resilience,strength and fighting spirit. We all love you and i believe God does love you very much. I can't give or promise you anything but that which i have i give to you and that is my prayers @briancourteau. Stay well and don't give up just yet. Believe and trust him 🙏🙏

I am glad you steem ready. Also that was a great read. I am glad I joined a few days ago to be able to see this and ran into people that lead me to this.

Man you are hell of a human being, taking the time to thank everyone right is beyond humble, I would be saying " screw you people I am dying" but instead you take the time to be thankful, which mean a lot about your nature!
Thanks for the shout out , and I know I repeat my self like a stuck vinyl but it's not over until it's over

😁I love that Lynn took charge and gave your father just what he needed, to enjoy the moment with those he loved instead of seeing the negatives of it all. She definitely seems to have been sent to you for all of the right reasons!!! Keep fighting as long as you can! Much love to you both😊

Personally, as they say there's always someone out there who is having a tougher time than you. My problems will subside and things will be "normal" again so that hope keeps me moving!

Lynn is an awesome and genuine person from everything I've read so far and i can only hope of day that I find the love of my life who truly knows how to treat a woman! When I do I will know that if he doesn't get excited just talking about me, maybe it's just not right! So thank you again for showing me what real love looks like!!!

My prayers and love to you and @lynncoyle1. 💖

Aww. It is nice to read about how unique and lovable @lynncoyle1 is. She is just right for your family too. It's my honour and pleasure to have met you both through Steemit. Beautiful photos! Wishing you love and the best things in the world, @briancourteau! Praying for you.

I feel sorry for you 😔

Thank you so much for the love Brian! You guys make my heart so happy, and my eyes so damn sad! ;) Your love story is one for the books. This chapter that you shared today is no different. Look at that picture of your pops... That look on his face! Priceless! Your babyloo is definitely something special. Continue to live the best you can, enjoying every moment, my friend and when the time comes for you to fly with the ravens, know we are all here for her. Much love, hugs and well wishes!

I'm speechless...

thank you for the mention @briancourteau (as I gulp back my tears) what a beautiful post from a beautiful man. the pictures you have shared are memories that will be kept alive. I know you will watch over lynn, as she has watched over you. Both of you rock, such strength to write posts like this and such love that is shared between both of you. Thank you for blessing me with the chance to see part of your life.

This is the best story you have told... I can see a big progression in you and the way in which you are understanding your life will be remembered. You are implanted in not only the memories of Lynn and the boys, but in a whole new place called Steemit... You have been very much a part of our lives over the last 6 months and we will have you in our memories for sure :)

I hope you have a beautiful weekend and thank you for everything you are to all of us each day!

Thanks for the kind words, @briancourteau.
I don’t really know what caused that I seem to know @lynncoyle1 for so many months, and only came across you quite recently, but no matter how short, I want you to know that I’m very glad I did.
You are a true inspiration and motivation to me, every day again. And I could never thank you enough for that. Your spirit is contagious and I will remember this for the rest of my life.

It makes me happy to know you’ve found your soulmate that made your life complete. I think it’s the biggest treasure one can find.
I wish for you two to have a lot more enjoyable moments together.

I’m not religious, so I can not tell you I’ll be praying for you - ;0) - but I am thinking of you both. Much love xx

Hi @briancourteau. This has been the most poignant post I have read in the time I have in steemit. And it says who in turn also lives with cancer, and especially in a country like my Venezuela, where being an oncological patient is not easy. It means not being able to get a treatment that guarantees your life and well-being. Even so, I know that I have a lot to live on. However we suffer from these diseases, we learn to accept the fact that our departure is imminent and not too far away. What allows us to heal our soul and heart while we can still do it.

There is no need to fear death, and for some reason I know you do not fear it. Dying is our transformation never to suffer, and to be able to share with our loved ones although physically we are no longer with them.

I leave you a big hug that can break your fears, if you have them. Maybe we'll meet soon.

My Dad has beat Cancer twice now, I hope that you continue to battle long against this most terrible foe. I don't really consider myself to be an overly emotional fella but something got in my eye as I was reading this.

I wish more people can read and share your story... @teardrops of joy and sorrow that I hope @surpassinggoogle will also be able to see. Here in this corner of Steemit are two people who have lit up rays of hope and happiness where there would have been little to be found but for their love and devotion to each other. We are grateful for what you have given to this community as well.

This is touching. Thank you for sharing your heart here. Your love story is a beautiful one ❤️✨

@briancourteau you are such a gracious human being. And an incredibly strong one along with your "Love " :)

God Bless you my friend :)

This is a very beautiful couple.

Thank you for sharing, my husband had cancer in his mouth due to his smoking cigarettes, he survived and yes, he still smoking! I remember helping him as best as I could while he recuperated, I remember giving him baking soda with lemon to minimize the chemotherapy effects and I prayed and ask for prayers for him too. It is hard to see anyone suffer, but it is hardest to see your own family members suffering, especially husband or wife. The after life is our eternal home and all depends how we choose here on earth, if we believe we can save ourselves from eternal consequences of our choices while we were alive on earth, good or bad then good luck to us, but if we believe that we need God's word made flesh to atone for our sins, then it is God's saving grace who will determine our destiny in the spirit world, either way it is all about our own choice while we are alive in the flesh. I will say a little prayer for your soul's destiny today, this is no a good bye, but rather a blessing the Irish way.

May the Road you choose be the right one.

Rum and Coke as one of your last meals, not a bad way to go, I am so glad that he got to see you so happy before he passed. Thank you for the thank you, you are most welcome. Sending love to you both!

I'm sorry for what you're experiencing. I have no words. I'm still hoping for your recovery.

Keep on fighting. You have come so far, you can’t give up. I have to say, you and your love have truly given me hope.

I have been struggling with so many issues lately. I’ve absolutely questioned God. I’ve questioned why good people have to suffer..... why so many others that have done horrific things, love long healthy lives.

You guys have given me hope that true unconditional love exists.

That's beautiful... and feel somewhat honored to even make it onto your thank you list. I'm sorry I have missed your last few posts but it was nice to see this one pop up in my feed.

I just have to say despite everything you are going through, you are still looking fabulously well!! You've still got plenty of time here with your Babyloo yet... keep up the fight! xx

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