Cursed (Broken ramblings P.2)

in #life2 years ago

All I can think about are the lies that I've been told, even worse the ones I forced myself to believe.
It feels as if I've been cursed with no way to lift it, constant pain of the past and the lies you told.... how can you live with yourself?
I wish you knew the damage you did. when I sleep I can only have nightmares when I am awake I lose more hope, I gave you seven years,
you gave me a curse.

I wish you could see the daily breakdowns.
the mental agony.
the rage.
the sadness.
how close I am to giving up.

I wish that I could say "I hate you" and "I wish wed have never met"
but that would not be the truth, I wish I could make you take this curse back, hell I wish for it to end now, id do anything for this to stop now....

Its not "ok" and I'm not "fine"

I miss the family we weren't.

I miss the marriage we didn't have.

I miss the wife I never had.

I long for something real at the end of this dark tunnel .... sadly I think I know how this is going to end.

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