Yesterday

I’m already out of breath as I’m running with a group of 7 or 8 men. Smoke fills the streets and it’s hard to tell which way to turn. The sound of carnage surrounds me as we make our way into the building. Some of the men have guns and we follow their lead up the narrow stairwell. The carnage sounds closer. I lose my footing running up the stairs as the earth shakes with a thunderous roar. “Shake it off” I told myself...

It’s foggy but we all manage to follow each other in a line. If it weren’t for the signs pointing out what floor we were passing, I’d think it was just an endless loop. 33. I remember seeing 33 as we opened the door to gaze out the windows. I’m in the city. “Holy Shit!” I thought. I had no clue up until that point. “What is going on?” I mumbled.

That’s when I saw it. Out of the corner of my eye and through the glass. I know this creature. “Godzilla!”

Not exactly how it was but used for dramatic purposes, it’ll do.

I mouthed as I stood in disbelief. Just as I’m beginning to process the gravity of the situation, a wave of chaos crashes through the rooftop. A beak shimmies it’s way through the gaping hole of the roof and picks a man up swallowing him in one piece. His gun fires a few shots inside the creature before its silenced. The carnage is here. I look to the others and I see I’m handcuffed to 13 Time NBA All Star, Dwayne Wade. He looks just as surprised to see this turn of events as I am.

Then a voice tells us to head back down to the basement for cover. I know this voice instantly and I turn around to confirm my suspicions. Laurence Fishburne is indeed ordering us down to the basement. Just as we start making our way down the narrow and smoky stairwell, the carnage hits full swing as we beaked creature has torn its way through and is mere feet from us. I can see Godzilla turn. He’s heading for the carnage...

All of a sudden my foot is jostled by something. It’s quiet and dark. A soft fuzz grazes my left leg and I hear a jingling. “What. The. Fuck?!?” I thought to myself for a few seconds before realizing that it’s my dogs collar making that familiar jingle. That soft fuzz is just my puppy Maya as she awakens for her morning chow and piss.

All of that culminated in one of the more vivid and odd dreams that I’ve had in ages. D Wade?!? Morpheus?!?

I was still a bit out of sorts when my wife turned over from her slumber to tell me she had a weird dream. No...not about Godzilla. That would be trippy as hell though. To be honest, I don’t remember what hers was about. She told me but I’m a stupid man and don’t remember, yet mine is etched into my brain. Every detail is like a favorite film that I can recite the lines to. Recall every facial expression made. It was all just...real.

The rest of this is going to be very boring so I advise to end here on the weird and don’t enter the boring.

That started off my morning on 3/14/19. I took a quick shower and ran to get dog food. I was out so I had to go snag them some real quick. I came back, fed the pups, and did a bit of “Steemit” crap.

The wife and I made plans last night to go have a quick lunch date so while she showered and got ready, I decided to take the pups for a quick walk. It was beautiful today (relatively speaking) and it had been over a week five we last went out. Maya can run for hours on end. She’s a machine and is in her prime at 9 years old. Bindi on the other hand struggles with long walks at almost 15 & 1/2....so I usually keep it short.

We head down to the park diagonally across the street and chat it up with my neighbor Stephanie. I have only spoken to her once before and that was the night that Maya got out. She was nice and was telling me that she thinks her pup has fleas. Just as my girls are sniffing the hell out of him. Awesome.

I tried to put some distance as to not give too many opportunities to have those bastards jump ship onto my girls. Fingers crossed! I can see Bindi’s legs are drooping a bit. She’s done, so I head back...very...slowly...

The girls pass out as they are wiped after the excitement of seeing a new itchy pup and just sniffing the fresh air. Sometimes that’s needed. I always love my walks with the pups. I miss the days of having all 4 of my pack lead me on fun adventures. I will cherish those days forever and would give anything to have this view for just one more stroll around the block with my best buds.

Lunch with the wife is up next. We head to a local coffee shop/eatery that she visited with my niece a few weeks back. It was my first time and I’d definitely go back. Cute place. Decent grub. Good service.

While here we discuss a must needed “Family Meeting”. The kids have been a bit off lately and there were some issues that we wanted to clear up. Situations to try to remedy. So we hashed out the gist of what we’re we’re going to say and cover. Among things to discuss is the addition of a “Fuck Up” jar of sorts. Kinda like a Swear Jar but not for cursing. It’s for when you keep doing the stupid shit that is so easy to not do. It will cost a quarter and involves things like turning lights off, hanging jacket up (me), closing bathroom garbage can lid (wife), putting clothes away (daughter), and turning off heater (son). We all have one thing that we lazily and forgetfully do so hopefully this is a good way to start to instill good habits. We shall see...

So far the day is going well. We come back home and had the meeting. It goes...ok. We covered a few other topics that 100% needed addressing and Clocer (daughter) got a bit emotional and upset, but seemed to get over it quickly. She struggles with apologizing and admitting wrong doing. Traits we are attempting to fix as those are awful traits to have as an adult. We all know someone like that and it’s a huge turnoff. Kids...can still kinda get away with it as they are kids but that only lasts so long before people start realizing that you are just kind of an asshole. I don’t want that for her.

It’s hard being a parent sometimes. Or...all the time. I feel like I’m constantly walking on eggshells when approaching them for anything. They are very fragile and do not handle any form of criticism well. They are in their own bubble and I’m sure I had sunilar traits as a teenager.

Anyway, the rest of the night went well. I chatted with my buddy that recently hopped onto the platform and explained the ropes a bit. Overall it was a good day. Until about 9 pm. It’s like a switch went off in my head. I got highly frustrated with a bunch of my friends for several reasons that I won’t get into but I feel my frustrations are absolutely justified. It sent me down a rabbit hole of feeling sorry for myself so much that I made myself sick....literally. Then I started thinking of my boys who are no longer here and that just opened up the waterworks a bit.

I was in my own head and I let that darkness take over. It’s kinda a scary and extremely vulnerable feeling. I had a great day and I let one situation at the end of the evening consume and frustrate me to the point of it taking over complete control of me. I was so dejected and bummed. A wave of sadness just washed over me and kept coming for me as if it wanted to swallow me whole. I feel like I’ve been doing a better job as of late of not letting my emotions get the better of me, but I struggled mightily for a bit last night. I sat and tried my best to calm myself down as to not get overwhelmed. I did not want to let this one thing define my day. Surprisingly it kinda worked. Just taking a few minutes to process it all and compute a solution or remedy. I usually just give in to the madness and concede that the sadness has won the battle but after a short self pity party I threw, I was able to climb out of it. That was encouraging.

I don’t know why I wrote this play by play of my day today. It started off as my wacky dream that I wanted to get down then it turned into a narration of the day. Then it morphed into talking about my depression and struggling with that. I guess this one is kind of a giant mess...but I can’t be the only one here who has had days like this. Can I? Ok...maybe your day didn’t start out with a chill session with an NBA superstar, a film legend, and monsters but I can’t be the only one who struggles to keep my sanity...right?!?

Thx for reading this tremendous pile of monkey shit and kudos to those that made it through it all. Also sorry...

Blewitt