Quitting a Career to Become a Housewife - Old fashioned or Realistic?

in #life6 years ago (edited)

From a young age, I was taught that women have to work twice as hard as men to achieve the same career, so I grafted from the moment I left school.

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The afternoon I left college, I signed on with a local careers agency and started working as a junior office administrator the very next day. I was earning something like £4k per year, but it was experience and it was a job. I had no idea what career I wanted to do, so I took the first position offered to me. It could just as easily have been working in a factory setting.

My first job literally shaped the next 17 years of my life. I was there only 6 months, but in that time I gained the confidence and experience to apply for a better position at a new company, where they invested in me by sending me to night school to learn and qualify in accountancy.

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The pattern of changing and upgrading jobs continued. I was taught how to administrate a business from the basics through to company accounts over the next few years and I seemed to take to it like a duck to water, eventually landing a position in a fantastic company working for the directors. I had to learn all about the Environment Agency and corresponding laws. We also had a trading site that I had to get to grips with, similar in concept to cryptocurrency, now that I think about it!

My boss appreciated my hard work, I was paid a good salary and they were great with me working around my family life, or so I thought! Basically they let me have a few hours off for school plays and sports days – generous, right?

So why did I leave?

I realized that all of my hard work was really only making money for the company and everything that I earned was being spent on debts, childcare costs, work clothes, travel costs and expensive lunchtime food.

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Debt was a huge issue at the time, We had used credit cards to pay bills, childcare, cars etc and the interest was getting completely out of control. This eventually led to me having a breakdown and we went bankrupt. (I wrote a post about that here and how to recover from Bankruptcy... https://steemit.com/life/@beautifulbullies/bankruptcy-my-top-tips-for-recovery-and-staying-debt-free

I quit my job and decided to become invested in my family. I was able to take my son to school in the morning and bring him home afterwards without paying someone else to do it. I could also enjoy ad-hock family trips to the beach without having to worry about whether someone else in the office had already booked time off to spend with their family.

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I was able to make meals from scratch and enjoy baking with my son, I had never really had the time or energy to do these things before.

During the day, I was able to get all of the chores done, so that at the weekend we were able to have quality family time.

Financially we were of course worried, but it soon became apparent that we were no worse off; in fact we seemed to be better off!

I realized that the ‘time’ I had gained completely outweighed any loss of financial recompense from working; I got more satisfaction from being a mum and a wife than I ever did from being a career girl. Strange eh? Especially as we are taught that women have to be able to juggle a career and family life nowadays to be emotionally satisfied!

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I think it is hard in this day and age to know what is right as a woman. We are told that our ancestors fought hard to give us equal opportunity and many of us are made to feel guilty if we don’t want to work and looked at as freaks if all we aspire to is being a good mum and wife. I often get asked ‘what do you do?’ The conversation usually goes something like this... ‘I look after my family and home.’ ‘So you don’t work?’
‘Yes, my family is my job, but thank you for asking.’ :D

It is fine if you want a career, good luck to you and I hope you do well! But it is also fine if you want to focus on your family. Don’t allow people to make you feel like a second class citizen just because you choose family over money.

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Thank you for reading! :)
@beautifulbullies xx

Thank you to Yahoo Images and unsplash.com for the imagery

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Seriously women need to change this mentality of wanting to please everyone. We need to learn to value ourselves first. It is only our mood and happiness that will determine the the state and shape of our family.
@beautifulbullies
This is a great writeup lets continue to spread the word
Thanks.
@phunke

Thanks for checking out my post @phunke! :)
I absolutely agree. We can change the whole dynamic of our family, just by feeling happy about ourselves and content in what we do and why we do it. I feel that as I get older, the more comfortable I am with my own decisions and I don't need stranger's permission to walk my own path :D
We can help to change the world's perspective one blog at a time! Thanks again for dropping by!

I think it is hard in this day and age to know what is right as a woman.

there is no right, there is no wrong. All, and the only, that matters is if you're happy about it and you made th decision because of yourself and those affected.

Not because of peer pressure, tradition, the status quo, or whichever SJW/vigilantes.

absolutely! it still baffles me though when people feel they have a right to question my choices, anyone would they are paying my bills lol xD

DM me when you're online.

I'm glad you also left a career in order to focus on more important things in life or have more time with your family.

Don’t allow people to make you feel like a second class citizen just because you choose family over money.

Thanks for sharing!

I feel it is harder than ever to stand out from the croud, but we really don't need the money that we were making at all. we live to our means and are comfortable with what we have financially, but wealthier than ever in life experiences! :)

I would say one of the best decisions you ever made :)

I absolutely agree! I Wish I had done it sooner, but I am grateful that I wasn't too late to experience time with my son as a child :)

Good for you!! The politicians have worked in so many ways to break up families it nice to see some come together. Life is not aout money and things though it helps.

yes, we still have to have enough money coming in to pay the bills, but we didn't need the amounts that I was earning and spending, being at work. I wish there was more help out there for families to help them stay together and appreciate time and experiences, rather than 'stuff'. But the government needs people to work I guess to make them more money to pay their extortionate wages and expense claims!

Years ago when my children were young, I stayed home with them. And I don't regret it for a moment.
After they grew up, I went back to work. About two years ago I became a SAHWife and LOVE it!

I missed out on my son's youngest years because I went straight back to work after my maternity leave. He was 7 by the time I quit my job, so still young enough to have fun with, but I do regret not leaving sooner

Kudos for speaking honestly!

I realized that all of my hard work was really only making money for the company and everything that I earned was being spent on debts, childcare costs, work clothes, travel costs and expensive lunchtime food.

Most are so caught up in "The Lie" (or as @WWF calls it the "Fictional Realm") that we never take that bold step towards the obvious.
To invest in our children is in my opinion one of, if not the most, important aspect of our lives; not to mention duty to our family. For us these most formative years of our child's life were too important to relegate to another.

I absolutely agree. When I left my job and spent more time with my son, I really felt that I dnd't know him! And if I didn't know him, who's values had he been living by for all that time! I am glad that i woke up to reality when he was 7, not 17, but I still feel as though I missed out on a lot during the first 7 years of his life. We have definitely made up for it since though haha I love @wwf's approach to life, I just wish more people would wake up to this reality. I guess if we keep spreading the word more people will realize that they have options and choices beyond what we are told. Thank you for your comment :)

That's amazing that you get to stay home now!! I wouldn't trade my job for the world. And yes, it's a job. I see you've seen how much fun it is having to explain that to people too!! ;P

Oh yes, people look at me as though I am an alien haha But I don't mind, I know that I have chosen a different path than they did, that is all :) Or maybe they just haven't caught on yet ;) If we keep spreading the word that it is OK to be a homemaker, maybe non-career driven people will allow themselves to fulfill their dreams eventually!

I agree. I've been a homemaker ever since I was pregnant with my son. I didn't finish high school due to severe social anxiety and other issues, and I recently went back and got my GED. My friend who is an administrator at our local technical college couldn't understand why I didn't want to go any further in my education. It was cathartic going back for my diploma and I'm not looking to start a career anytime soon. Some people just don't understand the journey. :) Keep on spreading the word!!

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