Learning to Say "NO"
There are certain times that we find ourselves saying "yes" to people when what we really mean to say is "no", most times because we think saying no sounds rude. A few us are bold enough to turn down people and use the word "no" without letting people's judgement get in their way.
Most times, we say "yes" because we don't wanna hurt people, and sometimes, out of the fear of being judged, other times, it is because we value the relationship we have with that person. Whatever your reasons are for always saying "yes", at the end of the day, you feel nothing but exploited and later resentful, don't let yourself get rapped in that maze!
It feels nice when people around are happy and pleased with you but we can't always please them so as to be in their favour, there is only so much we can do for others. Being a people-pleaser will only end up draining you, we can't just live for people, we have to live for our own self too. And if we really want to maintain a healthy relationship with people then we will have to learn to say "no".
Saying "no" doesn't make you selfish, rude or unkind, it is just a way of you expressing yourself. The word "no" is there for a reason, and just as we use the word "yes" with ease most times, we should learn to use the word "no" as well.
If you are one struggling with using the word "no", you might consider putting the following steps into practice
1. Keep it Simple
You don't have to go around trying to give explanations or even apologizing for why you have to turn people down, just keep it straight, simple and polite. When you go around trying to give explanations, you might lie in the process, which might end up leaving you with guilt and that's definitely not what we want.
2. Up Your Confidence Level
People with low self-esteem or self-confidence often find it hard if not impossible to use the word "no". Find out if that really is part of why you find it hard to turn people down or freely express yourself, If it is, then tries and put some effort into boosting your self-esteem and confidence level.
3. Be in Relationships that Allow You to Be You
I know, there are some relationships that we don't choose to be in or out of it for example family, but there are some relationships that we choose to be part of and are nothing but toxic. You should be around people or friend that let us freely express ourselves without trying to be too controlling or wanting us to be at their "service" at all times. It might be hard to walk away from those types of relationship, but its definitely a step worth taking.
4. Learn to Be True to Yourself
Being true to yourself helps you understand what you want and will go a long way in helping you curb the urge of saying "yes" most of the time and being yourself.
Live to love and not just to please. Saying "yes" isn't bad at all and neither is saying "no", its only a form of expression. Turning people down might be quite hard but its something we have to learn in order to build healthy relationships, be true to ourselves and live better. It may be quite hard to practice, but try it, and you will thank yourself for doing that.
Much Love, Audrey
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