Letting Go

I have always had issues letting go of things, even when it was in my best interest. For some reason I have this fear that letting someone go will be a poor decision, one that I will regret. All I can focus on is what that person brought to my life, or the things that I will be missing when they are gone. I fear the empty void that letting this person go might create; this space where they used to live that is now vacant. The downside of this is that I don’t focus on the bad things that they have done, or the hurt that they have brought upon me. I focus on what I will be losing instead of what I will be gaining.

People can tell you to let this person go, but it is up to you to make this decision and stick to it. You have to accept that this person no longer fits into your life. It doesn’t mean that all of the good times didn’t matter or no longer exist. Instead, it means that the bad times outweighed the good. No one can take all of those special moments away from you. However, sometimes it is best to let go, especially if someone is hurting you. Or maybe you have just grown apart.  You have to find the strength to let that person (or people) go. I know this is easier said than done, and it takes a lot of strength to let go, but you have it in you!

Letting go is HARD!!! Trust me! You are going to miss that person. With my ex, I miss the late night phone calls we used to have when I couldn’t sleep the most. For some reason, a male voice is soothing to me before I go to bed. I think it is because my dad used to talk me to sleep as a baby. But who knows? Now when I can’t sleep I listen to music, but its not the same. I also miss him when I am going through something because he was always there to listen. These are the things that I am losing. On the other hand, I am gaining so much more. I no longer have to constantly fight with someone, or allow them to hurt me. I no longer have to constantly worry about what someone else is thinking or doing, and how that will affect me. This person can no longer bring me down!

I am finding that getting a hobby has really helped me through the loneliness I feel without this person. One hobby I am into now is blogging (as you can see). Whenever I write something here, I feel like I am letting all of my worries go with each post. I feel like I don’t have to carry the burden alone when I share my stories with others. Also, your relationships with all of the important people in your life can help you through this! I am attempting to strengthen all of my other relationships, with family members and friends. I try to stay busy, because if I sit around all day, especially since I am an over-thinker, I will dwell on this person that I no longer have in my life. I have dealt with the hurt, now it’s time to distract myself from revisiting that hurt so that I can move on. Finally, I deleted my ex off of all social media sites, except for Instagram (I want him to see me prosper in life and regret his life decisions). I found out that he has moved on before me, and it sucks. But I know that he is now someone else’s burden (not mine)!

When I care about something or someone, I hold onto it/them for dear life. But I need to learn to let go. After letting my ex go for what will be the last time, I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I really feel like I can begin a new journey and that there are endless possibilities. Hopefully one day I will love again, and it won’t be as tumultuous as my first relationship was. Either way, I look forward to the future and I know there is nothing but bright things ahead of me.