Here's a bunch of things I learnt from seeing a therapist (Getting out of my comfort zone here for you guys. The lessons are quite unexpected)

in #life7 years ago

I have anger issues. I see a therapist.

Yep.

This is me getting out of my comfort zone for you. Check it.

1) Even therapists have their own therapists

Because they're human and have their own problems too. They need to talk to someone.

Takeaway: You're not alone. Really. For whatever emotions and negativity you feel, and even when it feels overwhelmingly strong, just know that you're not alone. Somebody out there feels the same.

Get help. People want to help.

2) Therapy is a long-term commitment

Sorry, but therapy isn't like in the movies where the protagonist goes through some life-changing event, decides to see a therapist (and lie down on a couch), experience some major cathartic, epiphany and is healed instantly.

Life is not a feel-good movie. Life just doesn't work like that.

Takeaway: Therapy is a long-term commitment. Heck, working on yourself is a long-term commitment on its own. You've to put in consistent effort to keep improving yourself. The therapist is not God. Talk to them, and slowly work on it together.

3) You don't immediately become better after finding your root cause

That said, finding the root cause of your problems doesn't mean it's an immediate cure.

It's just an insight to help point you in the right direction.

Takeaway: Finding the root cause would greatly help, but again, you need to put in consistent effort to want to be better.

Life still happens and something is still bound to go wrong. You're not going to be immune to that. So always be wary and put in that effort.

4) The act of talking alone is already therapy

Way too many of us in life are simply going through routine and sadly, that includes brushing aside your problems and downplaying your issues just because others are doing the same.

We talk, but we talk about needless crap. When was the last time you expressed yourself? Are you constantly bottling up your problems?

Takeaway: Just talk to someone. It doesn't have to be a professional. A friend or family member will do. Just do it. You'll be surprised how therapeutic it is.

5) There is an extremely specific solution catered for you and ONLY you

One of the reasons that I got so angry and frustrated often is that the solutions didn't seem to work for me. 

I'd study and do my research on anger and try out the typical solutions like meditating, going for a walk and stuff.

Then my therapist told me this: "Alden, you need to start standing up for yourself. That's the only thing you need to do. Meditation, counting to ten, taking a walk and all that stuff will NEVER work for someone like you."

I loved how he put it. It took a therapist for me to finally realize this.

Takeaway: Just because something works for someone else doesn't mean that it'd work for you even though it seems generally positive. 

Find your own special solution or method. Put in the effort to find it. It will be worth it. Then keep doing it.

6) There is no stigma

Some people find it embarrassing that they have to see therapist and that others may judge them.

But... screw others.

Work on yourself. That's the key. That's the only thing.

There're many people who go for it anyway.

Takeaway: Sometimes, a professional helping hand is necessary. It could be the gateway to a better life and future. The act of going for therapy is probably what is required for you to really see a change.

Stop caring about what others think and focus on yourself. 

Hope this helps!

Shoutout to @lifeisawesome and @kushed because I think they'd like this post.

Sort:  

The key is helping people and letting them help you, modern society has driven us far from this simple concept. Thanks for the help... and for helping others with this sound and personal take.

Thanks! Indeed.

Although, I must add, sometimes, helping others and being nice isn't part of healing. It's like sometimes, you have to be nice to yourself first more than anything.

#1 I've always looked at like this: we all feel the same. happy, sad, angry...we are all equal. The particular circumstance or chain of events that led to those feelings is the only difference. Therefore it is true what you said, we're all capable of helping each other out...as long as we focus only on what matters.

#6 Society seems to have trouble accepting a few universal truths. There's nothing wrong with helping, getting help, needing help, asking for help. Yet so many view this as a sign of weakness. Look how much strength it took for you to be honest. Honesty should be the easy part.

Thanks for commenting!

Yeah man. We all care about what others think way too much. We care about "face" value more than anything. As a result, our insides get affected.

I let you know my own eperience with therapy:

  • its expensive

  • in the end it goes both ways (letting me think there is something wrong in the deal, as the therapist gets paid, right?)

  • you are better of learning from real life events, like going out and do a job, trade or what ever. An example of this is when I worked as a taxidriver, I had many conversations with passengers, that was similar to therapy for both. Its properbly the same for uber, but in both jobs you could get problems for this, sure, (thats why we need blockchain) again just sharing my experience.

On the other side, I could say that therapy sometimes made me feel better, but I will say that I felt like it was not worth the expense, after reflecting about it over a longer period.

To each his own for sure. I guess sometimes, the knowledge that it's paid for and from a certified professional gives the reinforcement that the help would actually help.

Excellent article. A burden shared is half as heavy!

Thank you! And getting positive validation makes if even lighter.

@altendan

I have anger issues. I see a therapist.

At least you have the courage to do so. Many people think if you do - you're automatically whack - that prejudice -
I think people who brave themselves up to go see a therapist, expose themselves to the world that they are seeing one just by standing in front of the door of their therapist are the bravest among us - because that alone - is the beginning of overcoming your fear - and finding out what the heck is biting you on your ankle to a better life.
You writing about it - is walking an extra mile ! kudos ;)

Thank you!

Yes, writing this and publishing it was a little uncomfortable, but meh, whatever. Just went with it.

Yeah indeed. Being self-aware is the first step. I dare say people out there who are suffering don't dare look at themselves. Then they take it out on others.

I'm glad you did! Seeing others take steps on this journey is inspiring. Lovely post. :)

Thank you! I will see you in the writing-exchange chat!

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