If You’re So Smart, Why Aren’t You Happy?
Hey Steemit friends!
Just came across a fascinating article, “Why So Many Smart People Aren’t Happy..” It’s an interview with insights from the new book, If You’re So Smart, Why Aren’t You Happy?
Having been blogging about personal development for nearly a decade now, I’ve spent an outrageous amount of time thinking about happiness and chasing fulfillment -- with many ups and downs along the way.
Understanding human behavior is truly what gets me out of bed each day.
The article is a must read, especially the bit on winning the lottery, but I wanted to elaborate on some of the more thought provoking points I came across — This is ESPECIALLY relevant Steemit newcomers who have yet to find “success” on Steemit and are losing hope.
Here are a few of my takeaways...
"Ultimately, what we need in order to be happy is at some level pretty
simple. It requires doing something that you find meaningful, that you
can kind of get lost in on a daily basis."
Fulfillment is simple. But difficult.
I've noticed something fascinating during my first few weeks of using Steemit. Money aside, this platform has made me fall in love with writing again! And for that I'm forever grateful.
Would I be stoked if every one of my articles hit the front page? Of course.
But slowly, I've discovered that my motivations here aren't purely monetary. Instead, I'm just so bloody excited to share my thoughts, ideas, and story with the world!
I'm so honored and humbled, to share and give back to this incredible community on a daily basis. Nothing can stop me!
I love getting comments and emails from users who have been impacted by my work. I love connecting with other like minded people and talking about the ups and downs of life.
I love sitting down to an empty page and thinking, "How can I add value to the world today?"
For the last few years I've struggled immensly with writers blog. But since becoming an active member of the a community the writers block has all but vanished.
On the most basic level, Steemit has changed my life.
"The reason why it's important to not tie happiness to outcomes is
that outcomes by themselves don't really have an unambiguously
positive or negative effect on your happiness."
We're unfortunately addicted and driven by an outcome driven world.
If we can just buy a new car.. everything will be set.
If we just get that raise.. we can finally relax.
If we just travel to the other side of the world.. our problems will disappear.
Yet..
Time and time again, science has proven fulfillment cannot and will never be the result of a specific outcome. Rather, true lasting fulfillment comes from the process itself.
It's why I get so frustrated and sad seeing enthusiastic newcomers come here, post a few times, then give up.
We live and die by outcomes.
Instead of investing in the fulfilling process of creation, they let the ideal of being on the homepage distract them.
Of course, that isn't to say you shouldn't want to pursue certain goals. Rather, it's a reminder to embrace the process more so than the end result itself. Enjoy the journey and the rest will fall into place.
"There are expectations that if you achieve some given thing, you're
going to be happy. But it turns out that's not true. And a large part
of that is due to adaptation, but a large part of it also is that you
see this mountain in front of you and you want to climb over it. And
when you do, it turns out there are more mountains to climb."
This line really hit me like a sack of bricks. Time and time again, I've reached my desired outcome.. only to find myself asking, "what's next?"
Where's the fun in that?
Instead of wishing for less mountains, we must look for ways to enjoy the climb. Maybe that's enjoying the view on the way up. Or being grateful for the shoes that keep the pebbles out.
Again, that isn't to say there won't be tough times. Sometimes life just sucks. Life is unfair.
But if we train our mind and eyes to enjoy the path we walk we will be that much closer to lasting fulfillment.
There's no way to scientifically prove that one of these beliefs is
more accurate than another. But if you believe life is benign, you're
going to see lots of evidence for it. If you think life is malign,
you're going to see lots of evidence for it. It's kind of like a
placebo effect.
I really liked this last quote. For much of my life, I was always jumping at any chance I could to throw a pity party.
It made me feel good to make excuses. It made me feel good to find all what was wrong in the world.
Or so I thought.
It wasn't until I starting choosing to see each obstacle and setback as an opportunity that my life began to transform. Truly.
Again, I'm not saying that everything that happens to you has meaning. Life is unfair, and at times plain brutal.
I'm not suggesting you turn your back to reality. What I am suggesting is that you give yourself every advantage to find a life with meaning -- and that starts with viewing the world in an empowering lens.
Instead of throwing your hands up in the air at every setback, strap up and push through.
Instead of being cynical invest your time and energy into unlocking the endless potential of the world.
If you're so smart, choose to be happy.
Would love to hear what you think! I’ll be checking in on the comments and upvoting the ones the community finds most helpful.
Excited about this discussion. :)
If you enjoy writing on self improvement, Steemit tips and tricks, and travel be sure to follow me here
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nice post
Good read. I would say "chasing fulfillment" is not the right way to go about it. Happiness, enjoyment, pleasure, come and go. To think that we should constantly be in such a state is folly. Being fixed, static, in some absolute polar state of feeling is not what should be sought after. The chase for a particular state of feeling, is the wrong way, that is attachment and a root cause of suffering in life. But instead let it come with a higher purpose in life.
Indeed to find "meaningful" pursuits in life is more appropriate. For myself, the pursuit, purpose, goal, and meaningfulness of truth, and specifically moral truth, is what does it for me. The pursuit of truth and greater deeper understanding of moral truth takes time, effort, energy, dedication, determination, persistence and perseverance, but is it ever worth it!
Truth doesn't seem to be highly valued capital for most people, but I have found truth, and more specifically moral truth, to be the most valuable capital in the world for determining and creating a higher quality of life for ourselves and everyone else!
Life is HARD WORK. It takes effort to live and thrive. Don't give up, keep striving for greater heights, keep climbing the mountain of truth, go all the way, don't be a half-wayer that thinks they know enough to get by or and stop seeking/learning. Truth rewards those that love and care to seek it!
Also, "smart" people that can see the ills of the world (corruption, evil, immorality) will be affected by it to a greater degree than the usual person who ignores deeper investigation into reality and focuses on being happy and getting along with others. Truth divides from falsity, and when you live in a false society and insanity all around, it can be hard to just ignore it all and "get along" with everyone who chooses to continue to ignore it all.
"Whoa! Incredibly insightful. Definitely agree, especially the part about "smart people" thanks for sharing
Interesting post. I like to remain upbeat. We need money for the basics: food, housing, transportation etc. But I really do find that my happiness comes from people: my family, kids, and friends. Those are relationships you nurture and don't buy.
I have actually looked into this issue and read the article as well. It is extremely accurate and approachable. As someone who has struggled with depression, mainly at over analyzing global politics from a young age and losing hope in the current geopolitical climate and impending wars. Ultimately I decided to let go of things that I have no control over. Smart people tend to focus too much on controlling situations and getting expected results, which can be good, but ultimately crippling. I feel that studying this topic has actually been extremely freeing emotionally and allows for deeper perspective. It also allows for less greedy outlooks on life as a whole. Many people on steemit want to get rich or go viral off a blog post and view it as failure if they don't succeed, but allowing for multiple victory conditions in your mind and being able to cope with failure makes life much less stressful and depressing. In my mind I am entering steem with the approach of promoting an uncensored global communication and education platform. Making money is always positive if it isn't controlling your actions. People need to stop letting things and greed and preconceived notions of victory conditions dictate their happiness.
Wow. What a comment @clayboyn . Thanks for sharing with me. I've also suffered from crippling depression most of my life. Some days its hard just to get out of bed. I'm so glad you're putting the effort in to learn and understand more about yourself. It's made all the difference for me.
Hope you can find consistency and value in your steemit quest. Don't hesitste to reach out if I can ever help
The most helpful thing for my ultimate goal is disruption of the controlled system and putting control back into the hands of the citizens of the world. And you and everyone else that uses crypto is ultimately doing that be it intentionally or unwittingly. I want to know what a free world looks like, hopefully it happens in our lifetime. Good luck with the blogging and keep helping people open their minds. The world needs more enlightenment.
Yes! I've figured out in the past couple of years that when I attach my happiness to outcomes, I'm never really happy! I like the parallel you draw between this idea and all the folks who come to Steemit all energized, only to give up after a few days. For me, it has been a struggle for two years to find a way to write every day. I would get going and write every day for three or four days, and then not write for 20. But since I started blogging on Steemit, I have an incentive to write each day. Even if it's just a few cents and a couple of comments from people who enjoyed my work, it gets me out of bed two hours early each day before I have to go to work, and it keeps me writing. If I focus on how much money my posts make, I am not happy. If, instead, I focus on the value I'm receiving by being part of the community and the value others are receiving by reading my work, I am happy!
Your thoughts is so inspiring. I was kind of upset with the current happenings in my life but after I read your post, instead of lamenting on what is happening now in my life I should focus more on great things that is happening in the life. Your writing has the perspective to touch and change somone's life.Dont ever quit writing.
Thanks so much for the comment @chashma . Seriously this means the world to me.
I'm sorry you're having a tough go right now, but I'm grateful my words inspired you to look at the world differently. So humbling. I wish you all the best
But...
Thank you for this post, it was a much-needed reminder today for me about the value of taking on an empowered perspective towards life's challenges!
<3
Yup, I find that steemit is helping me to get into writing stuff, if not daily yet, but it is something I am working on.
So the Steemit hasn't changed my life, yet. But I've been in process of doing it for last couple of years, and Steemit is sure helping!