You Do Not Need Government in Your Wedding - Why My Husband and I Do Not Have a Marriage Licence
- Our marriage is our business, not the state's.
- If we ever split up WE decide the terms of custody, property, finances, etc... not a complete stranger with potentially radically different values.
- The roots of marriage licences in the US are extremely racist and irrelevant to my life.
- Not to mention how some states have used marriage licenses to make gay people think they cannot marry.
- We made our commitment with friends and family, people who know us and can truly help us if times get tough.
- We do not need permission.
- We maintain our individual financial autonomy (and no we will not be "bought" with tax bribes).
- We have seen the grief and trauma of state sanctioned weddings that come to an end (unreasonable child support, awful visitation terms, children kept from loving caregivers, etc..)
- We didn't do this, but we have heard of couples who have used the blockchain to document their wedding.
So far there have been zero problems, hastle, confusion or headaches.
Are any of you in a stateless marriage?
I absolutely agree and even though I'm queer I've never been for same-sex marriage being "legalized", HOWEVER having said that, my partner is India and the only way we have found for him to come back to the states is to apply for a fiancee VISA and then get married, assuming it's approved. The first one was denied because it has been over two years since we have been together physically and even though same-sex marriage wasn't "legalized" within our first two years of being apart, it was still denied. Now I'm trying to find a way to get to India asap, come back and apply all over again before we lose our chance forever. (He's under a TON of traditional Indian family pressure).
International issues sure do complicate things!!!
Thanks for answering my request for comment on this subject of stateless marriage. (I wish that your post got paid more than my original question, but alas, such is the nature of Steemit.)
I have never been married (with or without state involvement), but I remember when I lived with a partner for a year before that relationship ended. Breakups are challenging enough, but I don't even want to imagine how difficult it would be breaking up through the legal process of divorce and trying to get the state not to point its guns at you (or your partner or kids) for simply ending or redefining a relationship. State-sanctioned marriage is like Steem Power, quick and easy to get in and not quick or easy to get out, by design of those who created it to keep people invested in the system.
I heard one person (I don't remember who) say once, "Laws are for people who are not in relationship." I could say the same for the state since those who interact voluntarily with each other can define their own rules without forcing anyone to opt-in. Kudos to you and John for defining your relationship without state permission.
All I can say is bravo! Bravo! When I speak on the matter, people gawk at me as if I'm a complete idiot so it is very refreshing to see someone else who "gets it". Many happy years to you both!
Can someone tell me why my image doesnt load in the blog preview, but does when you are reading the actual blog post? My markdown looks accurate..
Has happened to me too, but only on some posts. Weird. #steemitproblems
I appreciate what you've shared here in this blog, Cat. I have considered these options recently myself, and am thankful to find someone else here on Steemit that comprehends the true meaning of a "stateless marriage." Keep up the excellent writing. Upvoted your post, and followed. Have a great weekend!
I agree with your views
I am in a stateless marriage and it is wonderful. We also have a free spirited little girl with no attachments to the state whatsoever. We play outside, dance, sing, eat good food and build things together. It is a happy life and I don't take it for granted.