Not Even The New, Hi-Tech Kevlar Bag Can Keep The Stink Out ~ Original Discovery and Story ~

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Letter Found On The Kitchen Table -- Mother's Day, 2017

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Dear people who live in the house with me,

A quick note before I head out this morning. I am expressing my displeasure with your latest decision and final purchase of my new, late-night snack bag.

Though touted on that box you watch on Saturdays as a "Stay Fresh Longer" package, designed to "Seal In Freshness " and "Prevent Un-Necessary Spills", I feel this thinly veiled addition to my diet and exercise routine is beyond necessary.

Yes, I realize I have gained a few extra pounds this winter. And yes, I understand it is "all for the good of kitty" to lose some of these pounds. But this new, high-tech bag is taking things a bit too far. That odd thing, made from some plastic-y, space-age material, is difficult to deal with, even WITH sharp claws, determination, and excellent nighttime vision.

No worries though, I got into the bag just fine last night. It did take a few extra minutes of concerted effort to breach that re-designed outer layer, but I finally got in.

And though this extra-work-of-entry adds 'more exercise' to this goofy plan you and the veterinarian came up with, that is not the real problem. I'm OK with that. As Mustachio, the cat from beyond the fence is always going on and on about: "If you don't have to work for something, it's not worth working for. " Extra, sweaty effort in the exercise department I can deal with.

What truly bugs me about this new bag, is that it doesn't breathe. There's no AIR in the darn thing. Once I open the side of the bag, the next step of making the head hole large enough for easy-access is impossible.

That tough, stretchy material does not allow expansion for my ears and round little head. I have to forcefully plunge my head into the bag to get to the nuggets. Then the stupid thing seals up around my neck. More than ten seconds with my noggin in there, eating away, and I get light headed. This new bag is a detriment to my overall health and well being. Let's face it, I pass out in there, and it's Crossing The Big Highway Of Heavy Traffic for me.

I appreciate you thinking of me, but please, let's go back to the old, 'easy open' paper bag. This will no-doubt save us all a whole lot of potential embarrassment in the future.

Thank you for your attention in this matter, and I will see you later. I am off to find a mouse or three from the back-forty, as I'm quite famished this morning.

Thank you, and have a nice day,
I know I will.
Sincerely,
Stinky

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Third In The Series -- Letters From The Cat

Letter To Humans -- Post No. 1
Christmas Bag -- Post No. 2

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Stinky The Cat

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Professional Macro Shot -- Close up of new, plastic-stuff bag covering. When I woke up and wandered into the living room, 'The Stinkmeister' had her head in the full bag, sealed in like a wet suit, eating away. Appeared to have a bit of difficulty swallowing, but didn't seem to slow her down much.

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