'Either they like you or they respect you.' As a manager you aren´t 'part of the team', you lead your team. That´s why you cannot be the boss and everybody´s darling at the same time. 

But which are actually the traits and values that make up the character of leadership? 

Why managers are rarely everybody´s darling 

1. - Their decisions are not based on personal interests 

Excecutives don´t decide on personal interests, they decide for the good of the company. Decisions on that level are sometimes uncomfortable (for the individual) and won´t ever meet the expectations of the entire manpower. 

Managers are paid for the progress of the whole company they push forward. By transformation is actually how leaders achieve universal and benevolent outcomes. 

Leaders have a different (wider) perspective. 

While employees might focus on their personal achievements within the structure of the company (promotion, salary, holidays, responsibility, etc.), managers keep themselves busy with higher goals: the overall wealth.  

That is why leaders are hardly loved, but respected. 

2. - They have to be lone wolfs 

About 8 years ago I was working for an International Publishing Company in Germany. Thanks to my burning ambition which seems to be part of my DNA (thanks mom and dad), I was promoted only 10 months after entering the company. I was hired as a Team Assistent, then enjoyed doing a bit more than I was actually asked for, and only a few months later my (relatively young) Dutch boss decided to give me a chance. 

I won´t ever forget his words when explaining the new organisation chart: 'I thought we should promote the younger generation, they are presenting themselves quite hungry.' These were the words that justified his decision to nominate me as Team Leader. 

In less than one year I had overtaken my colleagues, passing from Sales Assistence to Head of Sales. Obviously these changes caused a LOT of trouble (for me). From one day to the next I wasn´t part of the group anymore - neither inside nor outside the office. 

All the previously established social bonds had broken over night. 

We were not going out for lunch anymore. We were not sharing any private staff anymore. We were not talking about business anymore. I wasn´t part of THEIR SIDE anymore. 

All at once there was an invisible but huge trench between us. We couldn´t be friends anymore. The distance between them and my new office at the boardroom floor was too big.

  

It took me some weeks to understand the new situation and the implicated changes. But once I had assimilated the consequences, I started enjoying to live my new role. 

3. - They choose power instead of (social) equality

Managers are risk takers. They assume responsibilities others are not willing to accept. Their reward: power. 

A good manager knows how to develop power with people, not power over people.  

Everything we accomplish happens not only due to our own efforts but through the efforts of other people. The biggest difference between people who manage others versus people who lead others is actually how they develop those under them. 

That is why leadership needs characters. Characters who lead by communication, integry, honesty and respect. 

Leadership doesn´t target social acceptance neither equality. A leader needs a 'professional distance' between himself and his followers. Power is given to the ones who take certain risks, who assume responsibilities that others don´t want to accept, to characters that stand out due to their courage, discipline and the ability to turn vision into reality. Leaders are role models, a-types, strong personalities above average who are able to succeed by growing others.
The price these characters pay for being part of the leading elite: they are lone wolfs. They won´t ever be everybody´s darling, because they don´t need to. 

I hope you enjoyed the read.
Cheers,
Marly -

Picture sources:
Title: https://assets.entrepreneur.com/
Quote leadership belongs to those who take it: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/
Quote courage: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/
Quote power: http://image.slidesharecdn.com/