Enjoy your time with your children

Gee, that sounds logical. Like no one ever thought of that. Still, I got your attention, no? I'm writing today because an interesting era of my life, albeit a small one, is about to come to an end. Really, it's more like a crashing halt, and one that has me nearly in tears (although that could still be those pesky pregnancy hormones).

For the first time since I can remember, I took the summer off from work. I was on disability, then maternity leave, then (unpaid) FMLA. It was a tough decision to make considering the economic result was losing half our income (which meant fewer trips to Starbucks) but it ended up being the right one for me. Now, with January rapidly approaching, my leave is about to come to an end and I must return to work.

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This summer I spent almost exclusively with my son. He and I went everywhere together, did everything together. As you'll recall he spent a portion of that time testing his lungs, and I did the same. We ate together, napped together, and were crabby together when Daddy came home from work. We were, however, never lonely, because we were together.

Each day was also a total adventure for both of us because neither of us had ever done the new mommy/new baby thing before (unless you believe in reincarnation, in which case it is totally possible Merce fought in--and possibly won--the Peloponnesian War). We figured out what worked and what didn't. We had some hard times, but mostly we had fun.

It was so enjoyable to me to spend this time getting to know my son. I was very, very lucky to have the opportunity, and I never took that for granted. Many women must return to work like ten minutes after they give birth. To hear some tell it, you'd think the boss was right there in the delivery room asking when the new mommy planned to be back in her office.

I always knew this time would be finite, but I am so very, very glad--and thankful--to have been in the position to make that decision. There was a time before Merce was born that I thought I'd come back to work at least part-time after my disability ended. I thought I needed the money and wanted to continue to make a good impression. Then some other things happened--don't they always???--and my husband and I decided to focus more on our family than on our professional needs and I took the whole FMLA (twelve weeks).

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I don't need to tell you that moments after the labor looking at my new glorious, wonderful, miraculous son I knew I'd made the right decision, no matter what the world might throw at me.

Now our time together is coming to a close, and I am finding it harder and harder to leave him. I just took a new job in order to be close by--my house, our daycare and my employer are all within a twenty minute walk. To be honest with you I just didn't feel comfortable not making any money and not being employed.

I was afraid taking time off would keep me from getting another job once Merce hit daycare full-time. I was afraid of not contributing my fair share, although my husband was completely supportive of whatever decision I made and believed I contributed more than equally by caring for our son...and attempting to keep the house in order.

So I tried to make the best of it and took a job nearby. It won't be the same as spending all day with the kiddo, but it is probably healthy for us both to experience new environments and meet new people.

That said, I'm going to miss our time together so much. I know just how special it was and how much it will affect us both positively in the long run. So, if there is any advice I can give you--and I can't give much, rather I ask for it of you all the time--is that if you have the ability, take your full leave. Take your FMLA. Take the pay cut if you don't have access to this things and spend as much time with your new baby as you can.

A pal of mine who worked with me suggested I do just that long ago, but I never thought I'd take her advice. It was truly the best advice I ever received.