Outsider's Journey snippit

in #joshgulrud7 years ago

He looked around at the corners of his dank, dungeon-like cell, as he had done so many times before, and felt it had burned into his brain long beyond the point of sanity. He wondered if there were any on the whole planet who could feel the way he did, being stuck in a box for many years at a time, breathing stale air, eating dull food that was never quite right, and being subjected to scripted, non-offensive, and almost robot-like conversation. The same dull, pointless routine, and lack of outlet for his many talents was very, very wrong. Man was not meant to live like this.
He thought, ‘Why my heavenly cousins up above have seen fit to look down from on high, in silence, yet leave me here is beyond me, is beyond me. He was still committed, but it was never supposed to be like this. He thought, “I’ve been here this long, and another few years would be nothing…” The lights flickered a bit as some mysterious air-interchange cycle began in the rafters above, and he sighed. “Actually,” he continued, “a few more years would be horrible.” With nothing else to do, he put his head in his hands.

From Chapter 1
Book in progress (~50% 1st draft)

Please let me know what you think.

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Well, for starters.. is this halfway through the first chapter or the intro? I would have started with the first half of chapter 1 or at least the entire first page of chapter 1 and also included in the beginning of the post: My name is ------, I am writing a book called ------, it is the genre of --------, In this chapter the main character/secondary character (name) is experiencing -------.

Once I start writing my books again I will be posting snipets from mine. From what I can tell it is well written.

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