Awake-and-see: A spiritual Journey

At some point one has to ask themselves if this “truth” we believe, whatever truth one may own, if it is indeed the actual TRUTH. Belief is a fickle concept, always altering to the new information we receive through our senses and from other ideas. Just because I believe something, that does not make it true. That was a hard concept for me to grasp in my search for the unchanging truth.

This is more of a book however I will condense the story the best I can as to still read fluently. This is my experience and I testify to this as the truth of what happened.

I grew up in Bucksport, Maine which is Known for Colonel Jonathan Buck’s cursed tomb. A legend that has intrigued locals and tourists alike.

My small town is the home of Stephen King and many other small-town legends. This intrigued my interest in the supernatural. I spent my high school years researching and studying the occult. I had experiences seeing what I thought were ghosts in windows of old buildings and shadows that I would catch fleeing out of the corner of my eye. Through the years of college and the military, I noticed death was a more frequent happening than I once knew. I started to wonder about my life and my destination after my life expired. As time went on I experimented with drugs and started seeing more unexplainable events. I turned to many different religions for answers, such as Buddhism, Taoism, Wicca and even delved into Satanism. I spent a lot of time ready, studying and meditating trying to reach out to whatever god or entity would reach back.

It was around 2010 that I met a woman, Catie, who unbeknownst to me had deep roots in the occult. I spent 3 years sharing ideas and thoughts about the truth of this life and the next. I still used drugs while she was a drinker at that time. We would spend hours meditating and working on activating our chakras. She seemed to have success while I was not.

The time came for Catie to move back to Colorado while I stayed in Florida and lived at an apartment complex called The Laurels at Sherwood.

This is the exact apartment this all took place In, this was the actual window to my bedroom
(bottom right window)

We kept touch through phone and internet. She sent a lot of pictures through the year or more that we were apart. As my drug use continued and her drinking deepened, our communication became strained. In the pictures she would send I noticed odd and distorted faces and figures that didn’t look human. Shadows that appeared to be moving. I became obsessed with these images and analyzed them often. Our conversations would be more agitated as we continued this distance relationship. I would often have thoughts coming out of nowhere as if accusing voices were present in my head. She couldn’t explain or wouldn’t explain these odd occurrences. I started to take pictures of myself and surroundings to send back to her and I began to see demonic images in these pictures as well. A few times I noticed goats’ heads in the background of her pictures and other occult symbols.

This progressed until one night while I was in the bathroom of my apartment in Greenacres Florida with the door closed, I started hearing voices that sounded like kids, threatening to shoot me if I opened the door. Completely freaked out I imagined they were intruders, so I spoke back and heard no reply. I burst out of the bathroom to find no one. I franticly looked around and nothing. Then I heard the voices again. This went on all night. Eventually I saw shadows resembling people and they were actually speaking…. I mean they were plain as day. I felt pressure on my arms and looking through my camera on my phone (learned from the movies) I actually saw people and images that were so demonic looking is was insanely scary. I moved to the kitchen and saw in the hallway a being of light that was overwhelmingly heavy to me and I had such a negative feeling from it. My light bulb was actually flickering and turning off and on…but the craziest part of that was the light was unplugged. I had a metal trash can and I saw such horrific faces in the reflection on the can, as if they were right behind me but the only way to see them was from that refection. I was freaked out but having a surreal conversation with these entities. They threaten me not to leave, the shadows were multiplied and dancing on more walls of the apartment imitating sexual poses and acts of violence. I had my computer open and they told me to look at the pictures Catie had sent me. I was confused scared and at the same time amazed that there really was something out there. The pictures of her, that someone or something took, were now not just of her but they had these demonic figures lying right next to her. In one picture there was an entity siting on each side of her. This blew my mind, I understood then that the camera captured these things and they could show you or be seen if they wanted to, or if you are heavily oppressed. They said at one point, “You are now able to see things others can’t”. I would try to make phone calls but my phone would shut off or just loose the connection as if they were stopping the signal from getting out! I mean seriously this is crazy.

Looking at my phone when it was off I saw a grey alien figure that appeared behind me, yet of course there was nothing there when I turned around. I would ask questions and it would answer in a voice and I could see the image reflected on my phone speak. He revealed to me he was a type of demon, but I didn’t know what to think.
One must understand, at this point I was taking two prescription drugs and I was not under the influence of any other drugs. When something like this happens, you KNOW it is real. There is a knowing that comes with a true experience.
I was threatened, cut off from outside communication, told to kill my self and actually heard stopping on the ceiling that sounded as if it was right above my head. I had asked them who they were and their answer was, “We are many!” And at that I actually laughed at them. Laughed in fear and excitement that this was real, and laughed because of the Hollywood movies that I remember were the entity referred to themselves as many, almost confirming for me what this was. They made me see images and things that should not be, they actually impressed pressure and pain on me to such a degree I would have to submit. Finally, I screamed to them, “Who are you, what do you want!”. They told me they were a legion of demons and there was a war against God and I had to choose a side! I mean seriously, that is crazy amazing all in one. I finally knew the truth! I chose God of course however didn’t know how to handle this.

They would attempt to enter me, I would feel this awful cold pressure starting on my arm and hand and progressing further into my being. My will to resist was my only defense and after a time, I couldn’t stay awake. I fell asleep in the second night and awoke with a feeling I cannot describe. They would speak and now it was as if they were talking from somewhere-nowhere, in my head but not…from a spiritual realm.

The details continue, and I have condensed what happened for time sake. After 7 days of this I felt something small and quiet inside telling me this wasn’t right. From previous advice from a Christian friend I felt the need to cry out for Jesus. After all, I now knew what I was dealing with and felt the confidence to fight it. So immediately I did, called on Jesus and God all the while fearing the repercussion. I heard screaming anger and I called for Jesus, now knowing He is really real, I asked forgiveness for my sins, I said I believe you are real and need help.

After a bit of this yelling crying and pleading I stopped…. I heard nothing….no anger, no yelling no voices from “them”. I felt a calmness and peace of what I did not know. This was new to me. Two days later I went to Calvary Chapel in Fort Lauderdale and walking through the threshold of the door I near fully fainted and landed on the floor. I stood up and went to the service.

After all this I felt such a peace and serenity. I felt lighter, the issues and baggage I carried for years did not matter anymore. I felt and viewed the past trauma and events in my life from a different perspective, as if they did not affect or bother me negatively what so ever. The trauma and pain were gone and I felt new and alive…so happy to finally know the highly debated truth.

A week later I left for Maine where I am now….
My life changed, I stopped doing drugs and changed my negative and unhealthy ways. My life has never been so fulfilled and definite. Nothing is perfect, I have life struggles, however they are not the same as before. I put my trust in God through Jesus Christ and spend time studying the Word of God.

This is my true testament story of my awakening…hence my yahoo email: awaykeandsee.

Thank you all who viewed this. I thank you all for your testimonies as well!!!

And thank you Jerry for the opportunity for entries.

God Bless!