I feel you bro. It's different for everyone. Only the first time i ever won myself and im pretty sure it cus very few entered xD Music is all about how it makes the listener feel, can't be mad if listeners aren't feeling your stuff. i feel like that every week, lols. Maybe you just haven't found your sound yet, or your audience. and always remember. Many great rappers started off exactly where you are right now, on the edge ready to give up. Good luck bro.