Why you don't talk to yourself and why you should | Part 1: Intuition Gateway

Talking to ourselves is frowned upon in our society. We may have done so as kids, but when we grow up we learn quickly through other people that talking to ourselves is somehow not acceptable. It is even deemed a sign of madness or insanity in our modern societies so that we all do our utmost to keep ideas restrained to the mind only and to not verbalize them unless with other people.

I am here to tell you: Talking to yourself can be very illuminating, especially if you wish to discern thoughts bubbling up in you for their quality. In this first part of the mini-series, we will explore a basic technique to help us get in touch with our intuitive side and how to make sense of it it in comparison to the rational side, through talking to ourselves purposefully.

A three-corner conversation

First of all, what do I mean by talking to ourselves? I am suggesting we can make use of our verbal communication to get closer to our intuition, by capturing the moment (and the initial reaction) through words.

How do we go about this?

In my experience it is very beneficial to ask a question. Whatever question you hold in mind - ask it. THEN ANSWER IT RIGHT AWAY.

DON'T THINK ABOUT IT, JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION.

We are not looking for time to think it over, to rationalize or even to reason. We are simply looking for an immediate answer through our verbal apparatus, an spontaneous reaction to the question we just asked.

For an easy example: Let's say you see some tea on your shelf in the kitchen. Ask yourself: How about some tea? And then immediately answer your own question. Put that answer on hold for now, we will need it in a moment.

Remember: We haven't thought it over yet, we just want an answer "by reflex" if you will. Answering your own question instantly without first thinking it over gives you the sweet luxury of having a response available that has not been filtered through the mind. It could almost be interpreted as your "intuition" talking.

Try not to think about the answer while you ask the question and you have a good chance of 'getting' an impulsive reply from within. Make the question as short as you can to not give your mind time to jump in. You could also prepare a list of questions, and look at them again a few days later. This would allow you to simply read the questions and answer instead of thinking about the subject matter preemptively when you formulate the question in your mind live on the spot.

Less time to think means more opportunity to capture the moment.

Now for some raw logic

Now after you have heard your impulsive answer: Think the question over like you normally would. Try to gauge a second answer through logic, reason and discernment in the way we usually do. And see what answer comes up now.

Is the answer different? Are they the same?

Why do we want an impulsive answer first? Because if we do it right we now have two answers originating from two different "headspaces" for the same question, answers that can lead us to a more thorough understanding of our motivations. If the answer is the same in both "headspaces" you can feel reasonably sure that the answer is the right one (because intuition and ego agree), sometimes you will find that the reasoning for your second answer has been created by your ego in pursuit of something that hugely contradicts the initial answer you got before thinking it over.

In that case I can often tell why my ego's answer was what it was, and how it differs in its motivations from what my intuition clearly hailed as a great idea before I thought it over too long.

Now, this doesn't only work for choosing which tea to drink or anything mundane like that. It works tremendously well in situations where your mind seems utterly helpless to come up with an answer you can trust in because too many factors are involved.

There are many great benefits to cultivate self-talk but especially this technique of getting an intuitive and a rational answer for the same question has helped me out tremendously in my life.

If you can bear the social stigma of appearing "crazy" whenever somebody does overhear your little self-interview.

Go somewhere where you are alone, just ask - then answer.

You will find the more you do this, the more you get a feel for what is impulsively coming up in you vs. what is slowly manufactured up inside your mind after a tedious rational excursion into all pros and cons of any given situation or choice to be made.

Looks like he skipped step one and went straight to logic

Heart vs Mind

This technique is also formidable for finding out what our heart wants vs. what excuses our mind creates to stop us from achieving it. You can see the web of excuses and rationalizations form in your mind but you already have the ace of your intuitive answer up your sleeve because you asked it beforehand. Awesome!

Say I see a beautiful girl dancing and I wanna say hi. I instantly ask myself: Do I want to say hi? YES! And then start moving towards her while the mind inevitably gets going thinking up reasons why I "shouldn't interrupt her dancing" or why she may have a boyfriend or whatever.

The hack is, I heard my first answer already - so I know the connected part in me totally wants it to happen.

It's merely the rational mind that may forge a persuasive case as to why quitting right then and there is the only appealing choice. But, the rational mind is only a tool - let's use it wisely. It's not ideal for all tasks at hand, but certainly helpful in many situations, if we take its voice as mere input instead of actual "reality".

You will observe that most kids talk to themselves all the time, before they are taught that this is somehow unacceptable. After years of school and upbringing we are all caught up in our heads.

Fortunately, our intuition is always reachable if we allow it to speak first. Interviewing the mind should always come second.

To be continued...

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