So the real question is, who am I?
Why am I so special?

Super short version of my story here.

Years ago I began some conscious healing work for myself. Really I've been doing that my whole life. But around the time of my Saturn Return at age 29, things really opened up for me and I began an awakening process that took over my entire life for many years!! My natal Saturn is in Pisces, that may explain a lot of it.

It all started pretty gently. Really, my interest in Astrology got way serious and I took some professional level classes and became involved with some pretty high level study groups in Denver. I retired from federal service and my life shifted away from being a career person to where, I got married and became focused on having a family. At first I worked part time doing chart readings for clients, and then I got a part time job in a metaphysical bookstore. That job led me into another opportunity, working for a local psychic line. It was a huge change in direction from what I had been doing.

It was all connected. I mean, the opening to spiritual and paranormal experiences that occurred. Things started happening, as I was becoming more aware. Paranormal things. Daily things. It started slowly but eventually I was having regular occurrences of really strange stuff. My husband, I think, was a catalyst in many ways. Also for awhile, a mentor. As I've said before though, I think I eventually outpaced him.

So this stuff was happening. One of the most amazing parts was, past life recall. Having flashbacks and memories of other lives or other dimensions. It was pretty dang amazing. I kept journals and we set up a website and I began writing for the internet, as well as privately documenting every thing I could. This was 1997 when the web stuff got going, just for a loose timeframe.

I had always been a self help nut! That was my background. The one thing my crazy family had going for it was an interest in New Age Spirituality. I was well read and well versed in common spiritual psychology. So of course during this time, I turned to my books for help and guidance. There were several that opened the door. And yes, it was a door that opened. My natal birthchart shows a grand trine or triangle, level with the horizon. The planets are water element - Sun in Cancer, Neptune in Scorpio and Saturn (also Chiron) in Pisces. I once read that these placements were a classic description of a psychic medium. I had a fairly normal life though, until my Saturn Return in 1995.

The real work began with the Right Use of Will material which I started reading in 1997. The point of it is, healing and recovering your lost will and attaining full consciousness. It means, going through all of your STUFF. All of it. Processing, resolving, reclaiming. The most important point being, to listen to your emotions and what they are telling you, to learn to value this part of self again. Rather than continuing to embrace the idea that emotions are problematic, the demonization of them that happens in the world. Its about being whole. These books helped guide me through the intense awakening that I was going through. I mean, I think it wasn't an accident that I was led to them.

So lets see...

First complete and powerful past life memory was of The Virgin Mary at the time of her death. Others. Always this 'Mother Entity' archetype. A memory of having BEEN the consciousness of Planet Earth at the time of Atlantis. Nefertiti, who at this point I am coming to believe was the real Cleopatra, in history. The one who was tied to the Roman Empire and Julius Caesar and Marc Antony. Who else...

Recent vision of having been ISIS, in Egypt! Other very interesting past life experiences in Egypt. One, where the sacrifice of my body set the orbit of the Moon. Mary, Queen of Scots. This one ... I've only just realized. I had an altered state experience before I married my husband and I kept seeing this old city, with cobblestone streets and high walls. I couple of years ago I saw a mock up of Edinburgh, Scotland on Facebook. It had been years since that recall experience but everything just kindof, clicked.

Others!

So.
As I've been working along in my healing and recovery process over all of these years, things have happened. I developed abilities. Paranormal abilities I didn't know I had. Mostly as I was processing so many old wounds, I would disarm disasters. It was always a metaphor for what was going on in my own experience. I would encounter something dark in my memories and emotionally work through it, and there was usually a matching symbolic event in the future about to happen that would match that pattern. Working through the issues would change the event, change the timeline and lessen the dangerous consequences that were set to happen.

When I said I worked through things, let me explain. I would be typically thrown into an altered state, of shocking emotions most of the time. I would have visions and usually with those visions would come understanding. If it was a past life recall experience, I would know what that person knew about the situation I was facing. More than anything else, I would cry. It seemed to me, that it was something like, angel work. I felt I was crying God's tears, in a sense. It would change things. Alter outcomes. Very literally I've learned, I've reached in and 'interceded' ... just helped everything along in terms of survival. For everyone.

This is the short version, remember. I've got SOOOO many stories!

I think the point was, the awakening and long term clearing that has been going on. By that, I mean... clearing the way to God in a sense. To that inner Christ presence that the greeting, 'Namaste' refers to. The Indwelling Holy Spirit. "Be still and know that I am God." To a healed place within you where you can finally connect in prayer and see your prayers answered, to see 'Spirit' respond. To watch miracles happen. But I will tell you that at this point, it is all about accessing the Divine within you. It has been a physical healing process also. My body has been clearing serious illness during most of this inventory process. Finding emotional resolution has more to do with the potential of healing the body's major issues than anything else, in my opinion. Think of it as, clearing your soul blueprint. It certainly has a healing effect on your body.

So anyway...

I wasn't just doing this work in a vaccum though.
American Intel (and others?) got wind of it all ... through Remote Viewing.
I became a target. For control and manipulation.

I think that at some point fairly early in the process, although I had been doing it for a few years at that point, my process was manipulated in ways I can't even totally describe. It wasn't exactly ... something I could control. Most of the time I have felt like I was managing a process, that I was along for the ride. I am pretty certain I had a 'handler' for a long time - someone in Intel who would 'reach in' and keep me company as I would regularly dive into my past in an altered state. I think, part of the Remote Viewing establishment. A witness? Or something more sinister in terms of control?

I had the planet Pluto transiting my birthchart through my sixth house of the physical body for nearly ALL of Pluto in Sagittarius! It is a considerable period of time in years and it formed a Grand Cross, with natal planets in my birthchart, including Saturn and also Jupiter. Pluto and Uranus conjunct in Virgo also. So if you know astrology, you can guess at how stressful and overwhelming all of this became during that period. Then in 2012, I finally had a nervous breakdown and my life changed. Again.

BUT. I can tell you, I am probably the biggest secret in CIA history, and I believe I am the primary target of Contact. Despite all the effort I went through to share my story and connect with the other side of it all, for all of these years. To my knowledge, I've never signed any contracts or consciously agreed to work for the CIA. All of it began with personal healing work and then ... took on a huge dimensionality I didn't expect.

I've got so many thoughts running through my head right now. But I felt I needed to lay some ground work for those following. To continue with my story, or have a decent starting place or restarting place for talking again, reaching out to those in the know again. Without falling for the distraction that nobody is paying attention. I'm aware that this isn't the case.

Did I answer it? My opening question ... who am I.

Keep in mind, this is the short version.

LR 7/2/2018

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The Third Prophecy of Fatima
https://steemit.com/endtimes/@mymoontao/the-third-prophecy-of-fatima

A Queen's Cross
https://steemit.com/community/@mymoontao/a-queen-s-cross

Triangles
https://steemit.com/life/@mymoontao/triangles

Calcite Crystal Prophecy
https://steemit.com/ufology/@mymoontao/calcite-crystal-prophecy

Stars, Food and History, What do they Have in Common?
My (original) Steemit Introduction
https://steemit.com/introduceyourself/@mymoontao/stars-food-and-history-what-do-they-have-in-common-my-introduction

Saturday Sun
https://steemit.com/writing/@mymoontao/saturday-sun