3am Rambling

Oh where do I start?
I guess lets start with the fact that this will be my second post here on SteemIt, and though I haven't posted much, I have read plenty. I see posts about peoples struggles or achievements,posts about upcoming artists or designers and all i can say is congratulations.

Up until now I had thought it was such a strange concept to potentially make any kind of money just by sharing information, ideas, and networking with like minded people. That should not be the case and I am actually amazed at how much it is encouraged to just share with others who you really are. So as a follow up to my introduction let me tell you who I am, and share a bit about the crazyness that has been my life.

I was born here in Las Vegas in the early 90's and not only did I arrive early, I crashed my own baby shower. The wonderful woman who is now my Godmother had at the time no idea what to do when my mother called her calmly. She had been asleep and thought she missed the babyshower and once my mother explained the situation, my godmother was an even bigger mess. I remember them telling me this story and not only how my god mom was freaked out and panicking about towels for her backseat but how this amazing woman helped name me. My father had wanted a girl and was very persistent, the doctor said they would have a girl and he was excited. They had picked out a name and planned many things for my future but there was no room to doubt that I'd actually be a boy. The dialog went something like this:

Mom - "i know you want a girl, but what if it isn't?"

Dad- "It will be!"

Mom- "Well we'd better pick a name just in case"

God mom- "that's cute"
Mom-"what's cute"
God mom- "just in case"
Mom- "I'm not naming my son just in case"

.... Needless to say, thats what happened and here I stand. Justin Case.

Throughout my childhood I thought I was an only child up until I was around 5 or 6 I got to meet my half siblings who lived with their mothers in different places. I never felt as though I was an only child because I had parents who always included my friends and made things happen. I had a friend go on vacation with us or stay the night all the time, and knowing what things cost today and how rough my parents had it financially I really appreciate all those trips and sleep overs or late night trips to the drive in movies. My dad was a chef for many years and my mother a waitress, they met working in a diner named JB's together.

My family is one of those extended families where you consider all the friends tou have knows for years as family and their friends also end up unknowingly joining the numbers.

Growing with a chef for a father was awesome, I learned many things from him such as how.to make home made Fettuccini Alfredo by myself and tame it to school for lunch. My father was also a martial artist, and very creative. I believe I get my love of the outdoors, food, music and magical worlds you read about in books from him. I deffinetly got my caring nature and generosity from my mother.

Skip ahead to High school, I was and still am a nerdy guy, who plays games and watches anime. I thought I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up and had been taking the right steps to get there. I went to a magnet school for aviation and was going to be a pilot, but someone upstairs 😇 had another plan for me. I was injured and ended up with edema in my right leg which put me behind schedule. By the time I was ready to graduate I found out I would have to start at the begining because of college flight lessons and classes. I pushed on and by the end of my first year another wrench was thrown in my plans. I was needed at home due to some trouble with the husband of a friend who had been staying with us. This man had been making death threats against my family, our friend, and her kids, and even attempted to break in and throw bricks threw our windows. My mother was afraid my dad would go to jail for intervening and had me come home to make sure that didnt happen.

Fast forward a bit more to today, my dad is disabled, a diabetic for 30+ years, cage in his neck, crushed discs in his back, neuropathy and deteriorating a bit each day. I was unaware that diabetes tends to bring out the mental illnesses in the dna of people but witnessed it first hand twice. while he has had low blood sugar, he has no idea who i am or where hes at, or that we have to pack up and go visit his parents before he dies. I think his fear of death comes with his most recent injury that almost caused him to become an amputee. It hurts me to see him this way, I remember him teaching me karate in our front yard and rollerblading around the neighborhood, and also how strong he was, but now he often can barely walk.

I do a lot for my family and often wonder where or when I'll find the person to spend my life with, what keeps me going is my love of lifes simple pleasures, time with friends, the sunsets, my dog, and music. Music although i can't play any instruments is my lifeline. The beats are in my soul. I love to go to festivals and share good vibes with open minded people. I love things like Reiki, massage, and other metaphysical studies, I'm a well rounded person who will feel the trance vibes and cry with you or go headbang with you at Excision. I love to dance, or get lost in a book or write my own, I am a great many things and have many passions but music is the strongest. PLUR is a way of life, music truely is for the soul. There is a song for every way I have ever felt and it resonates within you. I honestly have lost track of this post but i know that my honesty and willingness to share and help others will move me forward. Maybe i will share some of my old stories sometime, or tell you about how I felt like I almost died at EDC this year. I don't know what to say other than thanks for listening to me ramble on at 3am about my life. Sorry for any bad grammar, ill share with you all again soon. ✌💖🙏

• J.Denner