Schizophrenia...

Boy, I hate that word.

Just a fancy name for a situation when all the hell brake loose, adrenaline kicks in, your inner artificial intelligence models starts to overfit, and stuff that's going on outside of me is actually more crazy than I am. Then police shows up, you're locked in some some nasty prison called mental institution, where they experiment on you with their neurotoxins they call drugs (it's a spiritual rape really). Not a pleasant experience.

But it's even worse when you get out. World forgot about you. Job? I was about to get one just few days before they locked me up, same shit over and over again. It is the fourth time I'm going through this. Friends? Some are die-hard, but most of them just don't answer the phone no more. Who likes a thirty year old guy who depends financially on his parents? Not a nice situation to be in. You wonder why I can't take it anymore? Girlfriend? Forget it...

As It Was In The Beginning

Once upon a time, in my high school times, I was regarded as a math prodigy. Thanks to my inborn knack for everything related to probability and statistics, I was able to massacre my peers at math competitions, without even studying. To be honest I never liked going to school, and I would rather stay home playing video games and/or smoke weed. Man, I loved these old-school RPG's. From the first Fallout to my favorite - Planescape Torment. Oh yes, I remember this one very well. Best story ever. Too bad it is so similar to my experiences now...

[...] You wake up in the mortuary. You don't remember your past life, but this levitating talking skull starts to nag you. You're able to recover some distant past memories, while looking at the objects around. But everyone here is a zombie. Just this one guy acting strange... whoa! He is from the Anonymous ;) I've updated my journal...

12 Disciplines

Just like me getting home from the hospital. Well, enough bad memories. Let's think future. What can I do from now on. Can I sustain myself and become independent? I have some 2000$ worth of crypto in my cyber pockets... There is that one girl that kinda likes me... I have tons of old unrealased records from the times when I was a wannabe rapper... And one more thing. My own RPG system. How was It's called? Yeah, I will never forget this one. 12 Disciplines.

1. Work (Dexterity)
2. Learn (Intelligence)
3. Trade (Management)
4. Fight (Strength)
5. Magic (Willpower)
6. Art (Charisma)
7. Observe (Perception)
8. Talk (Karma)
9. Fun (Morale)
10. Health (Endurance)
11. Travel (Agility)
12. Love (Beauty)

Like this. First verb, then skill (or STAT, like in Fallout SPECIAL)

The New Hope

Through my whole life I've just struggled to max out these "statistics" but as a real breathing person. Call me crazy...

Now I have nothing except a little bit of hope. I know I can make it. I know I can live a life I deserve. This is just a new beginning. I will write about my struggle, successes and failures, but also about things that I'm interested in. I will max out these statistics, and level up. Just like in RPG. This will be a virtual adventure for both of us - me and You dear reader.

Call me Anon Lifehacker. Nice to meet You.