Of Introductions, Birthdays and Everything That Comes After

in #introduceyourself8 years ago


profile

The capacity to learn is a gift;
The ability to learn is a skill;
The willingness to learn is a choice.
― Brian Herbert, Dune: House Harkonnen

My name is AU Gonzales. Solver of problems, teller of stories, balancer of energies and traveler of worlds. I'm not an internet celebrity or a cryptocurrency millionaire. If that introduction doesn't pique your interest, then you might as well close this window right now.

I've been hanging around Steemit for almost a month and a half now, and this is the first time I've gotten the chance to properly introduce myself. I chose today, of all days, because, well, it's my birthday. I don't usually divulge that information most of the time, and I'm not entirely certain why I chose Steemit as one of those exceptions. If that doesn't garner an upvote or even just a greeting, then I don't know what will.

Me, Myself and I ... don't know what I should say


hoptart

(Me (right) with my bestfriend/girlfriend @randomli)

Initially, I had planned on writing a long introduction post, but I didn't want to turn away readers so I decided to divide my life and thoughts in these undeniably disjointed entries (woah, did I just unintentionally backronym "LATITUDE"??):

I didn't want to force people to read my entire life, so I made them an optional reading. I wanted to make this a sort of TLDR of everything I've posted so far.

My profile photos usually have my back facing the camera because I always feel like the view is more important. I'm just a small cog in the huge machinery of the universe, and I feel like I'm just an observer of all the beautiful things it has to offer.

I've been described as a friendly introvert, as I've been known to be someone who interacts like an extrovert. Admittedly though, socializing really takes a huge chunk of my energy, and being open isn't second nature for me. I interact the way I do because I want everyone to feel included. That's a very important aspect for me. I've always been on the outs, socially speaking, so whenever I can, I try to make everyone feel like they belong to the group or the community, like they're never left out in conversations.

I like being goofy, and I like playing around. Life is full of ups and downs, so I try to squeeze every drop out of the positive moments. Whenever I can, I just try to bring humor to the world. Everything's getting so serious these days, might as well be on the lighter side of the spectrum.

I love helping people and just overall being useful. I'm a computer scientist by trade, a fiction writer and an acupuncturist on the side, and a full-time student of life. I love solving complex real-world problems, and I love making sense of seemingly disconnected data. As with my interests, I code in a lot of different languages, so if anybody needs help with anything or if anyone is hiring out there, just let me know and I'd be happy to lend a hand.

Whenever I create or do something, I always ensure that I make it heartfelt. I'm very passionate, and I try to approach everything like it's a masterpiece or it's the last thing I do it. I can't wrap my head around people who do things half-heartedly, it just feels like a huge waste of time and space.

Come for the story, Leave with some lessons


lessons

The way I've done most of my posts so far is that I tell a story, then I end it with the moral lesson of the story. That's how fairy tales did it for a hundred years, so who am I to break the mold? Seriously though, that's the only way I feel we could give advice to other people―back it up with a story from your own experience. You've already made this mistake, so why not share the lessons you learned so that others won't make the same mistake. Simple as that.

I am not or will never be an expert. Even if it costs me awesome job opportunities, I will never market myself as an expert of any thing. There's always something to learn, and you can learn from every thing, experience or person. The universe holds so many interesting things to learn from, it's almost impossible to not learn. Any master who never learns from a student is not a master at all. Admittedly, I would cease to exist the day I stop learning something new.

Moving forward, I plan to revise the format and streamline it a bit. My main goal is to promote interaction, and since I haven't gotten much (if any) conversations in my post, then it's time to recalculate my strategy on how I approach it.

Words flow through my veins


acid

I've been involved with a few initiatives that aim to foster the growth of the #fiction community here on Steemit. These initiatives provide writers the opportunity to hone their craft and interact with a community of like-minded thinkers. Along with that, I've been going from post to post commenting and motivating other writers. Imagine, creating a whole world from one word or photograph, and getting feedback and monetary compensation in return. That's the exact definition of a "win-win situation" right there!

As a fiction writer, I know how hard it is to market and sell a self-published novel. Steemit provides you a means to earn for a chapter as much as you would earn for your entire book. That's already an untapped opportunity right there. While you're hard at work compiling a novel, your chapters are already earning for you.

I'm currently in the midst of revising my first novel, And Then Acid Fell, and would be making it available for sale here on Steemit. All the while, I'm also writing a Steem-exclusive novel that I'm hoping would raise money for a worthwhile cause.

It's been a rough road, filled with many interesting experiences. Thankfully, I haven't been traveling it alone. The love of my life has been with me every step of the way, so that's a welcome reprieve. Every creative mind thrives on inspiration, and I'm glad that I have one that supports all my ventures.

On Social Media Anxiety and my Steemit experience so far


steemxiety

Throughout my stay, I've been experimenting on which kind of post would garner attention. Admittedly, it's been quite discouraging. You spend a couple of hours trying to write an original post, muster up the courage to share it to the world, wait a few hours to see how it would be received, and then see that a tired meme, an unoriginal picture or a selfie is racking up 100x the number of votes and comments that you got. They get encouraged to post the same thing over and over, while you're left answering comments made by bots. I've already discussed my frustration in a couple of posts, so I won't elaborate much here This is not a rant, this is just a recap.

Apart from the monetary incentive, what lured me to Steemit was the promise of an engaging community filled with diverse personalities. Back when I had no social media accounts, my anxiety was mostly fueled by people forgetting me. Little did I know that Web 2.0 would snowball that right into an avalanche. I was a late bloomer because I was afraid of the social anxiety it would bring, even though I always joked that it was because I didn't want to leave a digital footprint.

Currently, I've experienced some ups, but a whole lot of downs. A lot of times it feels like Steemit is no different from the other social media. The adage "the rich keep getting richer" is very much prevalent. Don't get me wrong, I feel happy for all the success other people attain and bear no ill will against them. I just wish the wealth is spread. "Wealth" being not only upvotes but, more importantly, the interaction. I like commenting and promoting other posts because that makes me feel like I'm part of something bigger than myself. That's all I ever want. Like a pebble that makes a ripple in an ocean, and not a tiny grain of sand in a huge desert.

Moving forward


proof

Since #introduceyourself posts typically get the most interactions, I'll decide whether or not it's right to still continue depending on the interaction this post gets. I've already spent too much time on this, that I don't want to be emotionally invested in something that I don't feel like I belong in. I have a few other posts I just wanted to put up, and then I might just call it quits. Out with a whimper, just like all my posts that have been thrown into oblivion.

I've recently discovered the #payitforward initiative started by @williambanks, and it seems to be what I've been searching for this whole time. The game, as it's being sold, relies on interacting with each other and cross-promoting posts. Personally, the way I view it is that it's more than just a game. It has the potential to change how Steemit works in general. Giving an emphasis to interaction, rather than monetary rewards, would yield more rewards in the future. I've been on a quiet mission these past few weeks, leaving thoughtful comments on posts and motivating unnoticed users because I want everyone to feel included. It has seen some success, validated with posts like this, but I feel I can't carry on alone. That's why I felt so relieved, because it's exactly what the whole initiative is built on, so I'm glad there are others who share my sentiment. So far, it's been a light that has shone in the dim tunnel, and I have high hopes that it would help a lot of people succeed in getting their posts out into the world.

Since I'm celebrating my birthday all through the weekend, I might take some time replying to any comments. Although, I do reply to every comment, and I appreciate any comment anyone leaves. Let's start a conversation. Let's prove that Steemit is all about acceptance, inclusion and, most importantly, interaction.

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@jedau is one of the best users I've found on Steemit. He's always contributing and helping and supporting others, including myself. If you're not following him, you should be!

Thanks for the kind words, man. It really means a lot. I've actually included a link to your post here, I'm not sure if you've noticed. I just try to be supportive of other people the way I wish I was supported. Even though I don't receive the same treatment, I don't regret the support I've given to other people so far. The success all of you have achieved sincerely brings huge joy for me. I'm glad my efforts are appreciated.

Ah, I missed that, thanks a bunch!

Hey Jed. I'm sorry I missed this post and didn't recognize that you were "that Jed." If social media as a thing isn't something which you benefit from, then by all means do what's best for yourself. I do think you have a lot to offer the world and the value of your content isn't just measured in $$$. You got 27 comments here and 38 votes. Clearly some people were interested enough to respond and create a dialogue with you.

Hey, Luke. Yeah, I don't measure it by $$$ at all. Out of the 28 comments that I have, 50% of those are from me, so it's technically just 14 comments. That would be great if this really was my first post, and I haven't poured a lot of hours leaving comments and building relationship on other people's posts. The post before this received 108 votes and 60 comments (30 from other people, 30 are my replies), which resulted from heavy marketing and riding off the momentum of a guest post that netted 225 votes and 18 comments. I received no SP from that guest post, and I netted 0 new followers during the first payout of that post.

The disparity between the comments and the votes is very telling. Most people are just voting based on what post has the potential to earn. They don't care about interaction, they just care about who posted it and what they stand to gain from it. I don't mean to come off as generalizing. I've met some awesome people here who are really genuinely interested in supporting other people. But, that's just a small minority compared to all of the people I've interacted with.

Maybe the challenge you're facing is your expectations of effort and how that somehow should related to rewards? Having read the Steemit white paper twice, I understand it's more of a lottery system than a rational, logical, factual effort-based reward system.

That's not it at all. All the effort that I've done is aimed to foster interaction. If that translates to a monetary compensation, then that's just icing. I leave heartfelt comments to either validate someone's effort or motivate someone to keep going, I guess partly because that's how I want to receive as well. That's fine, it's like life, I get it. I shouldn't really expect anything in return.

I've been expending too much energy trying to build relationships and foster interaction, and that's my bad. I'm not really extroverted, but I went beyond my limits trying to break through that social barrier, but I've just been so drained. I've helped quite a few people gain traction, and I'm happy for their success. That didn't really translate to any compensation on my end, not even as 0.001 SD transfer, but that's fine. I appreciate all the recognition for the effort I've done, but that covers like the tip of the iceberg for all the effort I've put into this platform. While I've been enjoying helping people grow, I've just been diminishing.

Do you think that's a problem inherent in Social Media itself or a reflection of something more personal having to do with who you are and what you prefer socially?

I think it's a little bit of both. Social media tends to reflect real life, but aims to provide people who are lagging behind socially a means to make up ground. Lately, it seems social media has shed all its advantages and only amplified the negative aspects. You get zoned out in chat, and no one notices you when you try to participate in a conversation. All the while, whenever I see someone suffering the same fate and I'm included in a conversation, I make a conscious effort to include them. I leave thoughtful comments to promoted posts and people don't reply. It's not that it went unnoticed because at the time I left the first comment and the user who wrote the post replied to the two other comments. Mind you, I left a heartfelt comment that aims to validate his effort. LOL If I wanted to be ignored, I'd prefer to just talk to myself in a mall food court or wherever.

Man, I wish I had a log of everything I've done so you could see if I was lacking in effort. Heck, even this reply to your comment is longer than most other posts out there haha!

I didn't expect much interaction, but this was an introduceyourself post on top of being a birthday post. It wasn't easy exposing myself, but I just figured that if other people received tons of interaction through this then I might as well risk it. It's ironic that my introduceyourself post is my last post here.

I've seen Steemit (and social media in general) be used as a powerful tool to help people expand their consciousness, know themselves at a deeper level, and improve their skills of communication and emotional intelligence. I hope it could be used to do these same things for you. If you're not at a place where that's possible, by all means, do what's best for you and stay away until you are or avoid it all together and use other forms of relational connection which add value to your life.

I'm happy for those people who gained from it, it's just having the opposite effect for me. I really tried to benefit from this platform. God knows, I really did. I've experimented and readjusted my approach, but it's been largely exhausting. It's like I've given away a huge part of myself and I've received nothing in return. That's how it feels.

I was coming from a place where I wanted to help people grow, while I grow alongside them. The boatman-like mentality, where everyone's involved in this big "all together now" in improving themselves. Unfortunately, I'm just being left behind like a shepherd. I don't want to get ahead, I don't want to be better than anyone by stepping on other people, I just want everyone to grow together. I really thought, rather hoped, that Steemit was that place, and it might be for some people, it's just not for me. I was so hopeful for what Steemit stood for, now I'm just interested to see how long Steemit would last.

Sorry for the lengthy reply, I'm just very emotional when it comes to this topic. I gave your comment a $0.00-I don't know for the trouble.

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Thanks, man.

Very nice share, Happy B-day!

Thanks for the greeting, man! I hope it didn't come off as a cheap way to get votes, because that purely wasn't my intention. I had thought this post would yield a nice birthday surprise, but it only served as another shove away from Steemit lol

Happy birthday, sir! I have to say, I hope you stick with us here. You've been a phenomenal positive influence here, and you're easily the best friend I have on here. I'll have to check out #payitforward now that you mentioned it. I follow @williambanks, but between work, a puppy, and a two year old, I do sometimes miss things in my feed. :D

Hey @anarcho-andrei, I'm glad you feel that way, because I feel the same about you :D You have a remarkable life story and a very creative mind, I hope you continue sharing that with the world! I'm very thankful that at least a few people appreciate the effort that I've put into this platform and community building, but I fear my time on Steemit has almost come to a close. As I said in the post, I have a few stuff that I want to put up, and then I'm hanging my gloves. I've exhausted myself too much with the effort I've put in here, and I badly need a recharge.

Carry on the torch that I've tried to wave with #payitforward! You're a fantastic writer and an even better commenter, so I have no doubt that you'll do a great job. I wish you all the success here and in life!

Well, if we can't convince you, then I suppose I'll just have to prepare myself for us to part ways for now. It was an absolute pleasure to get to know you, and you've been a fantastic, positive influence on those of us we know in common. Hopefully I can keep up with what I've got and do some good for others like you've done for me!

Thanks for appreciating my effort, man. I guess I'm just really exhausted with everything. Right now, I really don't see any potential for Steemit anymore, but I'm holding out hope that people like you succeed. I have no doubt that you would carry the torch and do way better than I ever could :D

Maybe I'll just take advantage of the feature offers in terms of publishing my remaining posts so that I could milk some more Steem before I hang up my gloves.

Happy birthday to you. I hope you continue with Steemit. Of course it is up to you, but I think that over time a culture will develop that is fairer and more balanced, through the interaction of people with each other. That's what I hope any way. The more voices the better though. Anyway, welcome to Steemit, good to have you here.

Hey @naquoya, thanks for the greeting! I hope it didn't come off as a cheap way to get votes, because that purely wasn't my intention. I actually wrote this a couple of days ago and just timed it on my birthday because it felt like an apt opportunity to properly introduce myself.

Based on the reception this post has gotten, it doesn't seem like my future with Steemit is bright. I fear the good will that I've built has only carried through for some people. While I appreciate their support, it seems that I've just been largely wasting my time here and would have to rethink why I'm continuing on this platform. Anyway, thanks for taking the time to leave your comment, it means a lot!

I hear you, but perhaps that's how it is everywhere. Many of us seem to have to struggle to get our voices heard. I guess intention plays a large part of why you do what you do, here, or anywhere. If you have the energy to persevere, then build your network. Who knows, some magic may happen somewhere along the line. Again that's your call. I wish you well.

You're probably right. I just feel so exhausted opening up the way I did. It isn't really my nature, so it took quite some effort, which is sorely not recognized. I wasn't asking for much, but I guess many Steemit users prefer voting on and commenting on other people and posts, even if they don't get replied to.

Have a great Bday!
@jedau is definitely a great person to have met on here. His passion comes through clearly in posts and the multitude of comments.
I'm for one very glad you're here!

Hey @sykochica! Thanks for the greeting! I'm glad that at least a few people have recognized the thought I put into my posts and comments. It isn't an easy thing. Everything I've written takes a lot of effort on my part to put out. While I'm happy that a few people such as yourself recognize it, I fear that my time in Steemit is nearing its end.

I just like to take this opportunity to thank you for your support, and to praise you for your courage. Keep on doing what you're doing and I'm sure you'll have a bountiful harvest when it's time to reap your rewards. You're a very positive person and I hope more people get to bask in the glow of your light! :)

I can relate. I don't have near the level of motivation/crackiness as when I first started on here. The hours and hours on here catch up to us all, especially when the returns don't feel adequate. I'm not only talking money here, much like you said the comments/interaction are a huge part as well. I truly hope to see you pop back on here after a while if you do go. Or at least get ya into discord, say hi once in a while :)

Ty! I try :) Coming from a gamer point of view, "I bound to win eventually." lol

@sykochica That's the way I look at it. Hell, I managed to pull off Ivy's stupidly long combo in Soul Calibur 4, so surely if I keep at this, I can succeed here too, right? :D

Exactly! The bigger frustration for me when I feel like there's nothing left to try, which very rarely happens. We've all got to have that UBER combo somewhere down our path :)

I really admire your tenacity, both of you! Just keep at it, and I have no doubt that you guys will succeed! Even if you guys won't remember me when you're rolling in dough in a couple of years, I will always remember you all :D

I have a pretty good memory, so even if my legacy here fades, I will always remember all of you ;) A curse and a gift, for sure.

Beautifully written. I'm now following you. I look forward to reading new posts, your book,and also your old posts too!

P.S
What languages do you code in?

Hey @opheliafu, you're actually part of the first wave who voted on my posts when I initially joined chat. I had thought you were already following me back then haha anyway, I still have a few more posts I plan to put up, so there's still some benefits of following.

I code in Python, JavaScript, R, NodeJS, Java and other fringe languages.

Was the follow button working back then (like could you see who you were following?), I've had a few people that I assume I'm following and then realise I'm not?
What I remember really grabbed my attention with your posts was your fiction writing, very strong. I need to catch up a bit more on this.

Sorry I failed to notice that my reply to this didn't send. The follow button wasn't working back then, but the steemstats' follow feature was, and I remember you saying that you followed me. No problem, it's not a big deal. I just have a hard time forgetting small details like that haha

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