Breaking through my first post nerves

I think it's long past time for my introduction post.

So I've been reading, voting and commenting on Steemit for a few weeks now, and the longer I am on here the most apprehensive I feel about posting. I will admit that so much of what I have read on here seems spammy or not well thought out, it's clear there are a lot of people just chucking out post after post. But I have also seen some extremely eye opening content, and some really amazing writers and outside-the-box thinkers that have opened my eyes to so many things. All of this makes me really nervous about posting. Frankly, I have had no lightning bolt flashes of ideas of what to write about, what to take photos of, what to do with this account. All the advice I have read says “pick one topic”, but for me that is a struggle because I have a lot of different interests and can't quite decide what I want to write about. But more I'm struggling with the fact that I'm afraid I just can't produce decent content compared to what I've read and that I don't have anything half as interesting to say as a lot of what I've read so far. Really, not getting started is just an excuse at this point, because I'm a little scared to share!

This is pretty much my struggle to a “T”. I've suffered with a lot of anxiety and self doubt in my life. I'm finally coming to grips with it and learning to work through it, but it's been a long road to get here. For quite a few years of my life I was verging on the lifestyle the Japanese would call “Hikikomori”: sort of a reclusive shut-in. I've had so many ideas throughout my life that I wanted to put into practice but I was obsessed with someone else doing them better than me, or just that the market was flooded for that particular thing. This prevented me from learning how to develop my own voice to speak from my own personal experience, and resulted in this paralysing paranoia that has kept me stuck in life for quite some time.

I'm not sure how much interest people are going to have in this, but I realise I just need to start using my voice, no matter how unpolished it may sound right now. At this point saying something is more important that making what I say perfect...and I have long let that fear of being imperfect prevent me from speaking. I'm giving up the need to know exactly what I'm going to say or what I'm going to do with this account. I've decided to use this platform to talk about both the things I love, and the struggles I am having, because I know there are plenty of other people out there who are just too afraid to start, with whatever it is they want to start.

So, you can call me Cat. I love to skate (hence the username CatOnWheels), and I'm a whole bunch of walking contradictions, just like we all are. I'm really into all my wacky hippie stuff, I love yoga and meditation, yet I'm also quite interested in some of the sciences, notably anything to do with animal biology and astrophysics...oddly that doesn't seem like a contradiction in terms to myself. Basically I believe in the power of helping myself through spiritual means but I'm not about to start chugging coconut oil because I read an article by Dr Oz that said it cured cancer, I have a bit of a cynical streak wrapped up in all that tie dye. Oh, and I really do love tie dye.

I'm a homebody that loves Netflix binges, but I also love hiking with my dog. I'm a bit of a TV nerd, 20 years after it first aired I am still obsessed with Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all the other TV shows Joss Whedon directed or wrote, and I absolutely love Game of Thrones, iZombie and Orphan Black.

I also love real ale and craft beer, macarons and pretty much everything sugary and brightly coloured. I'm pretty sure my insides are tie dyed. With that being said I do try and keep the beer and macarons to a reasonable level and live a healthy lifestyle day to day....I love my fruits and veggies, raw, boiled, steamed, blended or placed on top of my dog's head for amusement (before you call the humane society I only put a carrot on his head once, I promise).

Content wise, aside from rambly soul baring, I will probably do quite a lot of TV and film reviews...I'm a big horror buff so I will probably talk a lot about horror. I'll probably share some pics from my travels, which I do quite a bit of. Right now I'm just going to start writing, and I'm going to see where the writing decides to take me. For my age I have so much left to learn about myself and I hope to do that through writing about what I love and what is challenging me. My hope is by just having the courage to start I can find the thing or things that really light me up when I write about them, and I can improve as I go. I honestly think that is the best thing for me to do, as opposed to so many people on here who already seem quite established in their careers and the direction they are taking their accounts. I'm still working on all that so I guess it makes sense that this account will be a work in progress too!

Thanks for reading this rather ranty rambling mess, I'm really loving so much of the content I've read on here and I hope I can learn to find my own voice through posting on this platform, and contribute a lot more than this rather odd introduction!