He was new on Steemit, but this one weird trick changed the internet forever! See how your life can be changed too!

No, not really. Just click bait. Fake News indeed.

I’m just here because I enjoy writing and hope a couple of you will enjoy it as well. Would I love for this to turn me into a whale and make bzillions of STEEM bucks? You bet your sweet badonkadonk I do. But for now, I’ll settle for writing a few Steemit articles and enjoying the process.

WHO THE HECK ARE YOU ANYWAY?

I’m a dude who thought it was a good idea to leave my six-figure government job to stay at home and have more time with my wife and daughter.

But it’s totally cool, I have huge plans for myself. I can make six figures on my own. No problem.

You see, I’m a voiceover artist (yet to be paid), a filmmaker (aspiring), a screenwriter (no titles yet), a record label owner (no bands signed), a digital marketer (who hasn’t even marketed himself), a cryptocurrency day trader (-$20k), and a YouTube sensation (uploads: 0).

Oh f*$k. I might need my old job back. Probably shouldn’t have thrown those chairs at my boss on the way out…

I’M JUST HERE SO I WON’T GET FINED

Remember at the end of Inception when you weren’t really sure if Leo was still in a dream or not?

Opens can of worms

It’s that level of uncertainty that I live in at the moment. Life is good, but somedays I worry that I’m going to wake up and realize I’ve stepped in a giant dog turd. Like, really huge. Like, get’s on the top of my shoe huge. But whatever, it’s cool, I’m having fun and my daughter isn’t tired of me being around more. My wife on the other hand just wonders why I haven’t done the dishes.

In the meantime, I am looking forward to engaging more with the greater internet population and destroying HuffPost’s fake news, one Steemit post at a time.

ARE YOU EVER GOING TO LAND THIS SINKING SHIP?!

Does the pope shit in the woods? Wait, I think I got that wrong.

Long story short (huge turd little? No? okay, whatev), I want to entertain, I want to inform, and I want to post some NSFW memes in a place where I’m not friends with my mom.

My plan is to address current issues in a satirical way. I want to spark lively and lighthearted conversations. Things like:

-What are the lastest guffaws of the oompa loompa in the White House?
-What new altcoin is going to make everyone a millionaire (hint: not FLiK)?
-Why hasn’t the coyote caught the roadrunner yet?
-How the F@%k do you pronounce GIF?!
-And how in the bloody hell can I get on the ship to mars with Elon Musk?

I mean, if I'm just being honest, I really just want to STEEM my ego.

...See what I did there? Okay, I'll stop.

WHY HAVEN’T I SEEN ANY PICTURES OF CATS YET?

No.

Just no.

PLEASE DON’T TELL MY MOM I’M HERE

I’ve been lurking in the shadows for a little while now and really enjoy reading other’s take on the world. It’s the same reason I like vlogs on YouTube, I just find it interesting to see what makes others tick, and this is a wonderful platform for it. So, I finally cracked down and decided to have a go at this myself.

Let me know what you think. What do you wish there was more of on STEEMit? What kinds of content really appeals to you? Do you want more funny cat pictures? Because I’m not above going against my own morals if it means revenue.

#KiddingNotKidding