Incredible You! Training Your Willpower - Changing The Nature Of Desire

Continuing on from our willpower series, I wanted to talk today about the intrinsic link between desire and willpower.

A couple of days ago @old-guy-photos made an excellent point in the comment section:

See the problem comes in when there is a conflict between what I should do and what I want to do. Sounds like you 100% wanted to stop smoking. Well what if your doc said to stop but you only wanted to stop 50%

Even though the comment was a bit tongue-in-cheek, this is a very valid point because of course if you don't actually want to do something, but are doing it just because you think you should be, then unfortunately you are doomed to failure because eventually you will say ach, blow this, I'm just going to [insert bad habit here] and to hell with it!

So is that it then? Is this the shortest article I've ever written? Am I saying until you truly desire to give up smoking, or stop eating junk food, or whatever you feel is holding you back, you simply won't be able to?

In a way I am, however I'm saying that there is a way to make yourself want to change, so in that respect let's continue and explore how you can adapt your desires to fit your needs.

The Path Of Least Resistance

Imagine you are standing in the bathroom on the top floor of a four storey building, and one of the water pipes bursts and starts to leak water everywhere.

The floor is tiled, however it isn't perfectly sealed, there are small cracks and gaps here and there; what happens to the water?

That's right, it will eventually find its way to those cracks and gaps and slowly but surely make its way down to the next floor.

Then it will fill up there until it finds more gaps to filter through. The water never flows uphill, and it doesn't start falling until the pressure from the water above pushes it gently to find the path of least resistance. Allowing it to find its merry way down to the bottom, infuriating all your neighbours along the way.

Left unchecked a tiny little dripping leak can cause a catastrophic amount of damage.

This is a good analogy for how your mind works, each day you wake up and left unchecked the choices your brain makes, will simply take the path of least resistance.

For example when your alarm goes off in the morning, the path of least resistance is to hit snooze and try and catch some extra sleep.

When you're on your way to work the path of least resistance is to whip out your smartphone and start playing Candy Crush or whatever game you're into.

You get home and it is easier to get a takeaway, open a beer and watch TV.

Left unchecked your mind will do the minimum it needs to survive.

The harder thing to do is to rip up the floorboards of your mind and find that leak so that you can plug it. Or to get a plumber in with a water pump to suck it out of all the hard to reach places.

So even though you know you shouldn't sit on the couch smoking, consuming alcohol and junk food, you feel like you want to. However this isn't true want, it is the path of least resistance disguising itself as desire.

So how do you turn that feeling off; is it as simple as simply saying; 'actually, I don't want this'?

Clearly not, that will have the same effect as trying to stop the leaking water going down to your neighbour's apartment by shouting at it . . .

The Anatomy Of Desire - Creating New Pathways

Let's take another trip; imagine you are in a log cabin halfway up a snow-covered mountain. All around you is white crisp snow for miles around, at the bottom of the mountain there is an apple orchard and a small stream.

Each day you walk down the mountainside and pick apples and drink water from the stream. This is easy for you to do for a couple of reasons; first, it is downhill so you have gravity on your side. Secondly, you have done it so many times that you have carved out a path, and so you can just step out of the door and get down with almost zero effort.

Above you nearer the top of the mountain, there is a shimmering lake surrounded by several different types of fruit trees (this is a magic mountain where tropical fruit can grow in the snow). However there is no path to this and it is uphill.

So each day you come out and think to yourself; 'I know I probably should get up to that oasis and eat a wider variety of fruit and drink purer water, but I just don't want to'.

Then one day you notice that the water from the stream you drink from tastes a bit funny, and there aren't as many apples growing on the trees, and the ones that are seem to be rotting, but still you decide that you don't want the sweeter fruit and the purer water.

A few weeks later I come and visit you up the mountain and tell you that you do actually want the higher fruit, it has just become easier to eat the rotten stuff and drink the poisoned water.

So I show you how to change your desires, I tell you that the next day, instead of going straight down the mountain you should take a semi-circular route, straying off your usual path, but then returning to it.

Everyday I get you to take a wider and wider arc, through thicker and thicker snow. Until you are using almost as much effort to go down the mountain as you would to go up it.

Then you realise one day as you are taking your wide circuitous route to the bottom, that it wouldn't be too hard to simply widen that arc and head for the sweeter fruit at the top.

You don't make it there in one day, but suddenly you feel like you want to, and the path of least resistance doesn't look so great anymore . . .

This is a good analogy for how your brain reacts when you start giving it harder and harder things to do, and should be reflected upon.

Back To Reality

So in truth we all know that smoking is bad for you right? However it is the path of least resistance to pull out a cigarette, stick it in your mouth and light it up, so we end up wanting to do this all the time.

If you then add the very real effects of nicotine addiction (the equivalent of having a sled to dash down the mountain to the rotten fruit), then the path is even easier to travel.

Find out how to create new pathways in the brain, and therefore new desires in part 2.

Image: Laurent Perren on Unsplash

Cryptogee