Me, Myself, and I...HOW I'M LEARNING TO LOVE MYSELF MORE EVERYDAY

in #identityverified8 years ago

Me, myself, and I! Yes, Steemit lovers, it is me, Jill. I am a real person with real feelings and real curiosity to figure this thing out, and in trying to figure it out, I decided to verify my identity.

Then, my train of thought led me to the overall theme for this post: SELF LOVE.

My brain functions through multiple pieces of paper, I am a very visual person, I love writing things down so it looks a little bit like this

I want to provide the best wording for people to feel inspired, and to get my message across. This usually involves lots of scribbling, crossing things out, and rewriting sentences multiple times over. But this is where my head has been, so if you're feeling like you're needing to love on yourself a little bit, hopefully I can help by writing out what I've learned. My ideas are all based on my experiences so I am not just posting this stuff for fun. These are 5 "lessons" which I have incorporated (and am still working to incorporate) into my daily routines for personal development.


"Love who you are, embrace who you are. Love yourself. When you love yourself, people can kind of pick up on that: they can see confidence, they can see self-esteem, and naturally, people gravitate towards you."
-Lilly Singh


It seems as though at some point or another, everyone struggles with completely and entirely loving themselves just the way they are. I understand that our minds are our own best critics, and being human makes it nearly impossible to be completely satisfied with who we are. But I believe there are definitely ways to overcome self doubt, low confidence, and negative thoughts. We always have the choice to decide how we can become the best versions of ourselves, and actively work towards the person we desire to be.
The journey to becoming the person we desire to be starts with loving and believing in ourselves. Without self love, we can't make it anywhere.

HOW AM I IMPROVING ON SELF LOVE?

  1. Accepting that this is me. There is only one Jill Wirt in this world, and I'm going to make her the best, most positive Jill Wirt there can be. But that can be kinda hard. Even though I'm still fresh in my twenties, and live on one of the world's most desired island destinations, I still have to deal with everyday life (bills, angry tourists, hitting every red light on my way home from work) and THAT gets annoying. Stuff gets me down and causes me to be angry at myself, which is silly because most of the annoying and troublesome things that happen are completely out of my control. Accepting the fact that I am still Jill, whether life is frustrating or not, helps me to love on me.
  2. Repetitive mantras. Since I was ten years old, my mom always drilled into my head, "Be happy, positive, and confident." There's that one person you just always have conflict with, the person who can pick at your biggest insecurities. There would be days throughout elementary, middle, and high school where I would dread going to school because I would be in a "fight" with one of my girlfriends. Once I realized how toxic this friendship was to my self esteem, the one big fight became the last. I removed myself from the toxicity, and in turn began finding things that I loved. More recently I developed, "You are strong, capable, and smart." I often tell myself this before an interview, or a meeting for a new and upcoming project to boost my self confidence and reassure myself that I CAN DO IT! A lot of times, I don't feel like I'm any of those things at work when I have to clean up puke ten times in a row, or I'm crying over the Notebook for the thousandth time with a pint of Talenti gelato in my hands. However, I have come to realize that even when my days are hard, or bad, that I'm still the happy, positive, confident, strong, capable, and smart girl that got me to where I am now.
  3. I have the power! It's all about the mental state! Wake up in the morning saying, "It's August 18, 2016, and its the ONLY August 18, 2016 that I get in my life! What a day to be alive!" This routine helps me take each day as a unique gift that I won't get to see or enjoy again. It helps me think about what I want to do throughout the next 12-17 hours (roughly) to grow and challenge myself more. Waking up dreading going to work will only make your days longer, as you gradually count down the minutes until you get to go home. Why not wake up and get stoked on being a boss at your job (at least you have a job) and influence your workplace to grow in positivity?
  4. Get in nature! Find that happy place y'all! Whenever I'm away from technology and bathe in nature whether its the redwood forests in upcountry Maui, or in the shallow blue waters of Big Beach, my brain slows down, and I can literally hear my body heave a sigh of relief and say thank you. Sitting down and reflecting on my day to day habits, things I love, and what I'm putting into my body helps to center my energy towards loving myself. What can I do better to improve my self love? Being quiet, still, and meditating. A lot of us don't have the luxury of being on a beautiful island, so it's easier said than done. Whether you live in the city or an island or in the mountains, do your best to find that happy place to open your mind. Once you can honestly decide on the things you love, on what makes you uniquely you, then can you start to pour out those energies into your work, friends, and significant others. Using nature is a great outlet.
  5. Get off social media! Comparison is our worst enemy. Stop wanting to be like these other people. Stop idolizing them. They are already their own person. It is unnecessary to have more clones. BE YOU. Social media is becoming so abused; the habitual scroll through Instagram, Snapchat, or Facebook before bed, right when we wake up in the morning, is taking over our present state of mind. I am totally guilty of this habit too, and I've been called out on it, a few times more than I like to admit. But it's addicting! We post things to see what will get the most likes, comments, shares, hoping desperately that something will go viral to make us "instafamous". Don't let social media be the thing to validate your self worth because YOU ARE WORTH SO MUCH MORE THAN YOU BELIEVE YOURSELF TO BE WORTH.

Start believing in yourself, your uniquely awesome self, and develop that self love.


"Why don't you be you, and I'll be me?
-James Bay


Here is me at Big Beach, one of my favorite places to center and find myself again. My brain gets really happy when I visit this beach. Peace and love to all!

Jill

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Welcome to Steemit, Jill!

Oh, I miss the beach. I grew up in Southern California and got to spend 10 weeks surfing Costa Rica. My wife did a post on our trip as well. When island are you on?

I like your list for self love and though I agree comparing on social media is bad, but I also think social media can be an excellent way to connect and build relationships. That also can be a wonderful aspect of self love.

I am on Maui :)

I totally agree about your view on social media and relationships are great to have through social media; without it I wouldn't be able to stay connected with friends I have across the country. Though I believe it can be used a great tool for growth and connection, my experiences have more so been leaning towards the side of abuse. I can't help that think most of our relationships are becoming too technological, though, and feeling the need (addiction) to see what everyone is doing all the time on social media can take away from where we are in the present moment.

I'll definitely be checking out your posts on the surfing trip!

Thanks!

most of our relationships are becoming too technological, though

But people felt this way about the telephone, right? As in, "Why would I call someone if I can go visit them?" I think technology can (if used correctly) enhance our relationships. It can actually increase our human connection. I have family in CA and being able to see them on a video hangout is amazing!

That said, I completely agree if we're constantly staring at our phones instead of connecting with the people right in front of us, that's just rude. For me, I treat it like any other conversation. Some of my conversations are in person, some are online. Since I run my own company with a completely decentralized team for years, I'm very comfortable with using technology to connect people together. Much of it comes down to our own perceptions.

I hope you enjoy Steemit!

Again, this is just based off of my experiences and lessons I'm developing into my life. For my own personal development, I find that I struggle with balancing social media for what it's really worth and find myself comparing and wishing to be someone I'm not. So that's just an aspect I laid out as a lesson I'm continuously learning from. I didn't try to make it sound like social media is completely and totally bad, I may have gotten a bit caught up with my writing. Of course I call my family who's in California on FaceTime. I love that. I am thinking I'm surrounded with constant comparison, by people who use social media the wrong way which led me to that conclusion of improving my own self love. Take some time away from it when I'm feeling over burdened with information and people telling me to look a certain way.

I am enjoying steemit so far, for sure! It's definitely challenging my mind by learning about the whole system, cryptocurrency, and basic coding. Super fun for me :)

Awesome!

Yeah, I see technology as a tool. How we use it will determine how we thrive. Great to hear you're learning more about yourself and what works best for you. I've found for myself a big part of the joy I get out of a social media network comes from who I follow. If I follow the wrong crowd, I end up not liking the network (surprise, surprise!). I hope you make some great, genuine connections here on Steemit.

With love and positive upvote from the Philippines-the Pearl of the Orient Seas.

Thank you! Would love to make it to the Philippines someday :)

Welcome!

I like your attitude, those 5 points are great!

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