A Journey With My Physically And Intellectually Challenged Son
Awesome ladies in this community, a pleasant day! Today, I'm going to share with you my experience as a mother of a physically and intellectually challenging son.
I am a single parent, and there are so many things that I love to be a mother, to love my children so much that I feel endless anxiety, fear that I am not a good mother. Worry when my children are sick, depressed when they are upset. It's intense, upsetting, emotionally-draining work. Motherhood is also synonymous with growth and development and fulfillment in a woman's life. It's also the toughest work a woman has ever done. It is experiencing happiness, even when facing the most painful trials of life. A mother made up of a bundle of feelings that often contradict rationality and sometimes refer to the use of common sense and instincts in raising children—no special knowledge is required, and all of these behaviors are embedded in some biological instinct.
My eldest is married and she has a 10-year-old boy (yes, I am a grandma) and they're living away from me. My youngest child has an Epileptic Cerebral Palsy (as I stated in my introductory post in this community) and is now 21 years old.
Cerebral Palsy (CP) is a condition caused by brain trauma that prevents normal mobility and balance in various areas of the body and has a high degree of severity. The term "cerebral" refers to the brain's cerebrum, which is the part of the brain that controls the activity of the motor. 'Palsy' explains the paralysis of the voluntary action of many areas of the body. In addition, cerebral palsy does not affect life expectancy. Depending on how the disorder is treated, motor skills may increase or worsen over time. While symptoms and severity vary from case to case, most people living with this disorder appear to lead rich, satisfying life.
My son's pediatrician suggested seeing a child development specialist when he was 3 years old and encouraged me to get physical and occupational therapy. I followed her advice, and my son went through a series of counseling sessions, but because of financial constraints at that time, and I am out of employment, I stopped his therapy. He can't talk, walk or even sit on his own, however, he can comprehend.
It hurts in a special way when I look at my son's buddies, some of them just his age, and make me think for a moment about all the things he can't do. Still, I can't shift the emotion, and I can just take the part that doesn't bother me. It's not an experience that everyone needs to have; it's a journey that's unplanned, the terrain I have to lead on is difficult.
I have grown and developed more than at any other time in my life since the birth of my son. I achieve self-control, and I see wonders that I might never have been too overwhelmed to know... I learn to embrace change, I know that I was wrong to judge, and I learn that there is a concept called unconditional love.
It is also important for me, as a single parent, to take some time to take care of myself as an individual: to get enough sleep, to eat nutritious meals, to take a quick stroll, and to do the things I really enjoy, even if I can only fit them in occasionally. In those fleeting moments of quiet contemplation, I was able to renew my sense of self and realize that I was also important; that I was a human being with many abilities and interests that did not interfere with my role as Mother. I began to know that a little selfishness is not a bad thing. If I was to have enjoyed myself more, I could have enjoyed my children more.
Every day my son inspires me never to give up. I know that he knows he's special. Every time I see him having a tough time, I feel sad to see that he is helpless. I don't know what to do without my son. My life has changed. If I hadn't grown up with him, I would have had less empathy, less compassion, and less sympathy with others. He teaches me that everyone should do anything.
There is a bond between the mother and the child, which does not go away in the same manner as the relationship between the 'normal' child and the mother. I'm concerned about his future and about the care that's going to be available, and I'm afraid that he won't be able to connect effectively when he's not feeling well. I'm still concerned when he's an old man because he doesn't have me to take care of his health. To me, the happiness and well-being of my son are what I consider, and it seems dumb for people to draw assumptions and conclude that I will be envious of other people's children.
How you raise your child with disabilities depends on your family's personal preferences for child-rearing, your child's age, and the nature of his or her illness. It is important to remember that most of the normal child-raising issues will be addressed. Children with disabilities are going through the normal stages of childhood. They do not go through the same time span, at the same rate, or use the same language as children without disabilities, but they are children and children will be children.
The very basic maternal impulses that most mothers feel when they have a child are still very much part of my life, and so I never wondered at any time what it would be like to have a 'normal' son. I adore my son as he is, and while my quest through life with my son has had a few ups and downs, I love him, and I never even thought about what my life would have been like if it had been 'natural' before that moment,
Disability is not a key issue. It is indeed a challenge. A loving family would make it easier for everyone, particularly for the person who is affected by it. An individual with a disability requires profound empathy, true compassion, and infinite patience. It breaks my heart to see him like that, so weak and vulnerable. Every day is a sacrifice of new things and new lessons are being discovered, which is a constant process. Learning how to deal with his tantrums, his desire to deliver what he wants, and what he doesn't need or want. It's like a rainy day with sporadic sunlight, and this rare cloud break is what I'm trying to focus on.
- Life is great, but life is even better once you have been blessed to become a mom.
you are doing a great job on your son Ate. a mother's love knows no boundaries.
It's a mother's role, Sis. We are the shepherds of our children on earth. God has assigned every child to nurture and raise them to be good people. Be he a normal or disabled person.
You’re the best mom and talented!
Thank you so much, Sis. Start writing your story. I know you have so much to scribble on... I am waiting! God speed.
Tu publicacion me llego al alma. Que lindo leer palabras con mucho sentir. Dios bendiga
Agradezco que te guste lo que he escrito y que te haya llegado al alma a través de él. Muchas gracias por pasar por aquí. Que Dios te acompañe.
Very inspiring jud kaayo imo story ate, your unconditional love as a mother and Im so blessed nga naila ila taka.. God bless ate and good health kanunay sa inyo. 😇🙏
Salamat kaayo, bro. The feeling is mutual, I am also blessed that I have met you here, maski wa pa ta nagkita I know you have a good heart. God bless you too. Pray for us always.
My friend, you are an exemplary woman for deciding every day to be a mother first and foremost, I congratulate you. I hope that God illuminates your days every day and that he makes you know for all the challenges you face, but one thing I am sure of is that if God allowed it to happen this way is because you can do it. God bless you.
Thank you for your kind words, my friend. You are right, God will not give us trials that we cannot handle. God speed.
I know exactly your feeling, dear friend. The commitment and dedication of a mother and especially in these cases is unimaginable and comes from the heart. I am a mother of twins with autism and I live with that daily thought surrounding me. But what remains for us is to fill ourselves with faith and move forward. Strength, God is with you
Cerebral Palsy and Autism is an almost synonymous illness and we as parents need more patience and understanding to our children that has been struck with this kind of sickness. Mother's unconditional love is still the best. Thank you for dropping by and for sharing your thoughts. God speed. You are right we need God's strength and always keep the faith.
You are the best mom dear, I wish you and your son live a long life
Thank you so much, dear. I am happy to see you again. How have you been?
Happy to see you too, I'm back on steemit this November 2020
That's nice
I was so touched by this ate. A long way ahead of him pa din. I pray that any kind of sickness would no longer come to him. 🙏
Hi dear. Thanks for your prayers. It's been a while. How are you?
Busy teh sobra. I've heard you're doing well on both platforms. Happy to hear that. Keep up the good work po. Stay strong! 😊
Thank you, dear. I have to work for my son. You take care as well.
You are the best sister. God bless both of you.
Thank you, Sis, for your unending support. God be with you.
God bless your huge heart and reward your struggle with millions of joys together with your special son, you are admirable and very brave ... I have seen many injustices in life with abusive mothers ... you have heaven earned by loving and giving everything. ..
I admire you a lot, I loved reading your post .. A hug from Venezuela ..
Thank you so much for your loving words. I know God has a purpose for everything and I have accepted it because I know that God is guiding me through all these trials. Thanks for the appreciation and for reading my post. God bless you.