Healthy Mind: Do Your Values Hold Up Under Pressure and Scrutiny?

We all have a set of values, or what some might call an ”inner compass,” that guides who we are and how we conduct ourselves in life.

If somebody asks us what we ”stand for,” we probably have a pretty good idea about that.

But how true are we really, to our values?

Do your values still hold up under stress and duress? Or do you start to allow ”holes” and exceptions when what you're standing up for and believe in is met with stiff opposition?

As a counselor, it’s sad how often I work with clients who supposedly have a pretty clear sense of direction, yet seem to consistently fail to follow through.

It seems we always have an ocean of stories and excuses ready:

”Well, I didn’t want to disappoint so-and-so,” is a common phrase I hear, when values are compromised. As often as not, people are also afraid to ”appear stupid” in front of those they look up to… even if such an idolized person is clearly in the wrong.

And so, we end up compromising our values.

To quote St. Augustine:

“Right is right even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong even if everyone is doing it.”

As a species, we seem to find it extremely challenging to hold true to standpoints that are not ”popular,” but later — if we discover that our original perception was actually correct — we end up beating ourselves up for not following our gut; not following our value system.

I have found that one good way to not fall into this ”getting along” trap is to simply pause and take a moment when something presents itself that ”feels wrong.” Pause, and ask yourself why you suddenly feel hesitant; then ask yourself what you are hoping to gain by abandoning your values and ”going with the crowd” instead.

Just the act of pausing reduces the likelihood that we'll act on impulse, rather than from wisdom.

Thanks for stopping by, and Bright Blessings to all!

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