Steem4nigeria Accelerator Contest Week 51: I Learnt to Say NO.

From my own opinion, No is the new yes. If you are not comfy about a particular thing, say no and let your no be your no.

A lot of people have become victims of serious circumstances simply because they do not know how to say no.

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Do you always find it hard to say NO to people's request?

Before now, I use to find it difficult to say no to people depending on the circumstances at hand. Am not trying to blow my trumpet but am actually a very nice person.

I could literally go out of my way to do things for people. I could sacrifice my last just to please or make someone comfortable especially when it has to do with my loved ones.

I do not need to tell you the kind of pains and betrayal I’ve had from those same people I had done those sacrifices for.

I have been so much rewarded evil for my good but one thing I’ve always told myself is that I won’t change who I am, I won’t stop being good because those people were being themselves, so I won’t change to bad because of what people did or do to me.

I’ve learnt to look away from people and whatever good I do, I do it because of God and not necessarily the people so that when they bring their bad sides, I don’t feel too hurt.

Some of my friends even know about this and they tend to take advantage of that, they will even tell me to my face that they know that I don’t know how to say no, hence they would make ridiculous demands.

News flash, all that has changed. I’ve learnt to say no when needful and believe me, I learnt it the hard way. Not once or twice but issues happened countless times before I had to make up my mind to imbibe the good virtue of saying no.

Good virtue? Yes, learning to say no is a good virtue that we all should imbibe in our life's journey. It would save you from so many heart aches.

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Mention reasons why people find it difficult to say NO?

There are a couple of reasons why people find it difficult to say no;

• They are soft hearted and want to always help even when it’s not convenient.

• They want to please their loved ones or friends.

• They do not have the strong will to decide what they really want.

• Fear of losing the people or the relationship may make people not be able to say no.

• Bullying too can put people in that precarious situation for people who are afraid of bullying.

What was that experience that taught you to say NO?

I’ve had countless experiences that made me to start saying no.

Growing up I was this free person and would relate with all genders freely. I would visit my friends houses both male and female without restraint as I had a free mind that nothing bad would happen.

One of those days one of my male friends asked me to escort him to the house. With my church mind, I went thinking I was on the same lane with this friend.

The event that ensued after was nothing to write home about. God saved me from being raped. Since then, I told myself no more going to boys houses.

Did you know that after so many years, this same friend just asked me to come to his house again just last month? I bluntly told him no. He began to be insistent, I told him no but he kept insisting.

I bluntly reminded him of what he did years ago and asked him what gave him the effrontery to tell me to come to his house again. He got angry and cut the call and hasn’t called me again since then. I didn’t mind and till now I still don’t mind. My No is my no.

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Another experience was that of lending money to someone who swore on his life to pay back. I need not tell you the kind of battle that ensued for him to pay back. He ended up not paying back.

There’s an Igbo adage that says that the mouth people use in borrowing money is not the mouth they use in paying back.

Since then, I don’t lend what I cannot afford to loose. I will telll you no but if I can afford it, I could help out when I can.

What is your advice for those who still struggles to give NO as an answer.

Please stop struggling to give no to people. One thing I’ve come to know is that you can never satisfy everyone.

Do the much you can. When the situation is precarious and you know it won’t end well, please say no to people.

The worst is that they would get angry but you have done the needful and would save yourself. A lot of people are selfish and would only care for themselves.

Please learn to say no. It’s very important. Initially it may be difficult but with practice you would find it easier. Don’t break your standards for people. You would be hurting yourself. If it doesn’t meet your standard or values, say no.

I invite @yourloveguru, @avalanch and @arinaz08 to participate in this contest.