SEC17 WK:#1: Forgiveness Unites Family

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Hey friends! I hope your day is going great so far! Can I share something interesting with you? It's about forgiveness and how it can bring families closer together.

Forgiveness is such a beautiful quality that we all need to cultivate in our lives. It has so many benefits for us and our relationships with others. But, do you find yourself bringing up the past when you argue with your spouse? If so, then you might need to learn how to forgive. It is one of the keys to family happiness.

In this article, I'd love to discuss what forgiveness is, why some people find it hard to forgive, and why we should all be forgiving.

What Is Forgiveness?

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Forgiveness means letting go of feelings of resentment that may be caused by an offense. We are all imperfect, and as such, we are prone to making mistakes and offending others. That's why God gave us a principle that can be found in the bible book of Colossians 3:13, which says "Continue putting up with one another and forgiving one another freely even if anyone has a cause for complaint against another."

Why Do Some Spouses Find It Hard To Forgive?

Some husbands and wives find it difficult to forgive because they want to use past mistakes as a trump card to get the upper hand when a conflict arises. Some couldn't forgive because of the scars that a past offense caused them, they may need time to properly heal. They might even claim to forgive you but deep down, they are craving to get even.

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In some cases, dissatisfaction and disappointment may cause a spouse to be unforgiving. Some enter marriage with very high expectations, thinking that it will be a bed of roses. They believe that life will be like the fairy-tale romance we normally see in movies. So when reality sets in, and disagreement arises they start digging in their heels, wondering if maybe the spouse is not their perfect match, simply because they have different points of view. This kind of mentality makes them find fault and decline to forgive when necessary.

Lastly, many spouses misunderstand what it means to extend forgiveness. Some think that if they forgive, they are minimizing the wrong. Others think that they will forget what happened. Still, others believe that if they forgive, it means a further invitation to mistreatment. The truth is that forgiving doesn't imply any of the above. It simply means letting go of the matter for the well-being of our marriage and family.

Why Forgiving?

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Resentment is bad for our physical, mental, and emotional health. It can destroy our marriages. Cultivating a spirit of forgiveness will allow spouses to give one another the benefit of doubt rather than keeping an account of wrongs. This will, in turn, create a room that will keep resentment in check and allow love to flourish.

One time my husband hurt me so deeply, that I was so angry with him. But he apologized and was truly sorry for what he had done that resulted in hurting my feelings. Sincerely, it was hard to forgive him, but I had to do it anyway because I knew how important that was for me, my marriage, and my family. I didn't want to put a strain on our relationship, and here I am enjoying my marriage.

Over the years, I've learned to be less sensitive. I overlooked some things and even forgave even when my husband didn't ask for one or apologize. I don't attribute my spouse's offense to bad motives. I've tried to excuse some of his behavior, knowing that we all make mistakes. He does the same for me, because I used to offend him too, and he will forgive me, this helps us to wax stronger, we accept ourselves for who we are.

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Forgiveness unites a family. It's one of the keys to family happiness and allows love to grow. So be quick to settle matters in your family. Let go of resentment to enjoy your marriage. Be realistic, accept your partner for who she or he is, accept their flaws and all, and focus more on what you get, not what you don't get. This was the advice my mother gave me.

Being reasonable is important. Don't be offended by everything your partner did or said. Sometimes overlooked and moved on for the sake of peace, but discuss matters calmly with your spouse when necessary, explaining what offended you and why you feel the way you do. Avoid dogmatic statements, don't put your spouse on the defensive, just relate with him or her how you were affected by his/her actions.

Let's be governed with love because it covers a multitude of sins. It will move us to freely forgive one another and enjoy our relationships with others. Thank you!

I would like to invite my friends @vickydear, @ninapenda and @ngoenyi to join this contest.