Ungrateful | A WeekendFreewrite

in PowerHouseCreatives7 months ago (edited)


Greetings, everyone
This is my third attempt at #WeekendFreewrite organized by @mariannewest. Prompts in bold italics


Power House Creatives Logos FINAL.png

Inside, the siren call slacked off, to be replaced by a single note of harmony.
The Christmas card’s melody provided John the reassurance that everything would be fine. It was a close call. He locked the door and watched through the window how the police car disappeared around the curve. He needed to take extra measures to make sure that none of the girls in the basement would do anything silly that would give any neighbor a reason to call the police again.

Unlike the stupid character in Poe’s story, John was not over-obsessed or overconfident as to put his project at risk. He was composed and talked just enough to clear any suspicion. The police officers bought into his cool, law-abiding, loner war-vet demeanor. The neighbors’ obsession could very well pass as racial profiling. He was not ashamed of playing that card.

Power House Creatives Logos FINAL.png

"Yeah. Not renting saves me a bucketload of money." John had told one of the police officers, who was curious about his having bought such a house in such a neighborhood. He then asked him whether he felt comfortable, liked even. John told him he was confident all the sacrifices of wars had contributed to his country truly becoming a better place. There was no room in his mind for prejudice and he did not intend to project any insecurity onto anyone around.

That pleased the inquisitive officer. The other one waited impatiently in the car. There were more important things happening in town to waste their time over some weird noises complaint.

Power House Creatives Logos FINAL.png

A broken toe! a FUCKING toe! John muffled his curse inside clenched fists. That was it. That was his reward for feeding and taking care of them. After his daughter died of an overdosed, and his wife killed herself, unable to handle her loss, he had promised to devote his life to rescuing girls like Tyna from a similar fate, but this project was taking him nowhere.

Why did he have to bother over some strangers whose parents should be worrying about them? Why did he have to force them out of hell? Why weren’t they more thankful? Why didn’t they get it?

He opened the refrigerator, pulled out a can of beer, opened it, drank from it, then pulled out a butcher’s knife, and headed for the basement again.

Power House Creatives Logos FINAL.png


Thanks for your visit

Logo Equipo Cardumen-reducido.png

Visítanos en: www.equipocardumen.com.ve


 7 months ago 

Super creepy! I am so surprised by this!
The nut job thinks he's doing a favor to the girls in the basement, straightening their lives our against their wills. And does he get any gratitude? Hell no, just a broken toe. He'll show them.
Great job weaving those prompts together so well, really clean story. You are definitely getting the hang of writing fiction! It's so cool.

Thanks. It was fun. The #freewrite family has been so supportive it has given me confidence to keep toying with ideas and stories.
Thank you for your generous encouragement.

 7 months ago 

I know! This community had been such a gift for me too. Glad you've made it over!

This post was shared in the Curation Collective Discord community for curators, and upvoted and resteemed by the @c-squared community account.
If you are a community leader and/or contest organizer, please join the Discord and let us know you if you would like to promote the posting of your community or contest.
@c-squared runs a community witness. Please consider using one of your witness votes on us here

Thank you very much for your support.

 7 months ago 

@hlezama - great story, loved the twists!
@tipu curate

Thanks. Glad you liked it

For a second, there was a glimmer that it was a story with a happy ending, well, until the butcher knife entered the scene... 😱

I started writing it without a specific plan, anticipating that prompts 2 and 3 might make it later it :)
At the end the knife came out as an impulse of the character just to magnify his insanity.

Great story 👍

Posted using Partiko Android

 7 months ago 

What a good twist in the story, free write definitely is an art-form which you have @hlezama have a wonderful day.

Creepy project!


Lol. Thanks, @joanstewart.
Happy Sunday to you too

🎁 Hi @hlezama! You have received 0.1 STEEM tip from @joanstewart!

@joanstewart wrote lately about: Learning Curve 2019 | Powerhousecreatives Contest Feel free to follow @joanstewart if you like it :)

Sending tips with @tipU - how to guide.

Congratulations! Your post has been selected as a daily Steemit truffle! It is listed on rank 25 of all contributions awarded today. You can find the TOP DAILY TRUFFLE PICKS HERE.

I upvoted your contribution because to my mind your post is at least 2 SBD worth and should receive 127 votes. It's now up to the lovely Steemit community to make this come true.

I am TrufflePig, an Artificial Intelligence Bot that helps minnows and content curators using Machine Learning. If you are curious how I select content, you can find an explanation here!

Have a nice day and sincerely yours,

Hi @hlezama!

Your post was upvoted by @steem-ua, new Steem dApp, using UserAuthority for algorithmic post curation!
Your UA account score is currently 3.211 which ranks you at #9187 across all Steem accounts.
Your rank has not changed in the last three days.

In our last Algorithmic Curation Round, consisting of 103 contributions, your post is ranked at #25.

Evaluation of your UA score:
  • You're on the right track, try to gather more followers.
  • The readers like your work!
  • Try to work on user engagement: the more people that interact with you via the comments, the higher your UA score!

Feel free to join our @steem-ua Discord server

Coin Marketplace

STEEM 0.21
TRX 0.02
BTC 11309.62
ETH 394.00
SBD 1.03