Children’s lying: Do we need to worry?

I have discussed about my daughter’s whining habits the other day. For the last few months I have been observing another trait in her characters that may bother most parents. She is gathering new words, enhancing her vocabulary with every passing day. She learns to make three of four congruent sentences. That is awesome. But, on the flip side she is learning to twist the language and using it to deceive us. In simpler terms, she lied out and out on some occasions. If she is held responsible for any misdeeds, she nonchalantly put the blame on others. One day I asked her, “Who broke the water bottle?” “Mom” she replied without a blink of eyes. Obviously, her mother knew nothing of that phenomenon. Most parents will discover that their kids are lying on stages of their development.

Should we worry?

No. This is the simple answer. Children are different. Some are like open books – straightforward in their language and activities, some are more mischievous while some are telling outright lies. But in almost all cases they are telling lies without any ill intention. Actually, I am wrong to use the term ‘lying’. They are telling some tall tales. They have no idea about the difference between truth and fiction. Some child psychologists are of the opinion that this may be regarded as a hallmark of her development. It proves their creativity and ability to tell stories.

When they start to lie

Children learn to tell lies around the age of three. They lied most during their 4-6 years of life. But at that time, they cannot match their facial expressions to the lies and can easily be identified whether they are lying or not. As the time progresses, during their school days they learn to tell the lies better. At eight years they can successfully tell lies without being caught out.

Why they lie

Children are resorting to tell some tall tales in order to

• To establish their identity and connect to the peers.
• To keep their separated from their parents. Everybody needs privacy.
• To cover some mischievous things up to get out of trouble
• To spice up the stories and make themselves more impressive
• To seek attention
• To avoid hurting other people’s feelings
• To get something they want

What we should do

I will discuss in detail about the tips and strategies for preventing lies and encouraging their integrity in the second part of the post. I am just mentioning some points to make the article helpful:

• Plan ahead of time to ensure that interventions are applied in the right time
• Never yell or shout at their lies.
• Be specific about your suggestions and what do you want out of her
• Teach her the value of honesty and encourage her being honest.
• Show the example to your children. They will follow you
• Never call her a liar. This is never help.
• Keep the options open for her and let her interact with you.

Happy Parenting

You may find my article on whining child here:
https://steemit.com/life/@drsupriya18/whining-child-do-s-and-do-not-s