Oh to be a Nurse . . .

in health •  3 years ago 

Hi, just to introduce myself, I am me and I have been herein on Steemit a while; with the introductions over let me give you a males nurses perspective on dealing with young adult females.

So I am on the medical ward one shift and this young 20 something is sitting on her bed blubbering in tears. I absolutely now hate is damn patient; with her crying this failed me to alert to the fact she actually had the flu as well, this put me off work for like 4 days. When males get sick we are dying and I could not even claim workers compensation.

Other than infecting me this lovely young lady was awesomely nice and polite and appreciatively and respectful; AND I still HATE the WITCH for infecting me.

Anyways the doctor writes up an enema, now trust me when I tell you I have done stuff that would make a billy goat puke but fondling young females genitalia is not one of those things . . . So I go find my shift supervisor and say, listen this crazy doctor thinks this girl needs an enema instead of some bulk forming laxatives ! ! !

My supervisor says " then go stick her with the enema " I cry ' she is like 22 years old ', the boss says " and the problem is ? "

I reply ' listen you come with me and do it, this young kid does not need an old man playing with her genitailia '. The boss replies " what, you cannot do your job? " . . . I said ' this is not about me, I have underwear older than this kid' , fine I will go find another female nurse; this is not about me but the patients respect ! ! ! '

The boss says " OK; listen, give it to her and tell her to use it ... " I reply " Kool idea, thats why your a boss and I just work for a living !!!" and wander back to my patient.

I hold out my hand and say " guess what this is ? " Her eyes go round and huge and says " OH no, no way; no how ! ! !

I reply " listen sweety, you gotta do this " . . .

She replies ' No way, I refuse ' ! ! !

I say " and that is your right to refuse, listen girlie; you got crap in you and over time your gonna fill up more; if it don't come out your tail guess how its gonna get out ? Are you sure you want that sh** on your taste buds ? I is really HARD to get offa your tongue "...

She sobs and snatches the enemas and heads into the toilet . . .

AND,,, two days later I am off work for days simply because this lovely young lady infected me ! ! !

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I love your story!!! You win the humanitarian award for making the "best" critical thinking decision on the fly. I think it was the correct action, given the circumstances.
I can so relate to being "taken down for several days" by someone you were trying to help. :)

Well thankyah kindly; mighty kind of yah : )

I live with my lady, when she gets sick I tell her to go stay with her ex-husband; simply because I do not want to get sick...

Simply I refuse to have anything to do with sick people, three times I have "demanded" doctors NOT admit infectious people but to make other arrangements; and 3 times the doctors have decided to use "common sense" instead of 'medical necessity'.

In hospitals we have very vulnerable patients to crazy aggressive germs and these people are unwell, a simple dose of a cold or flu is an annoyance to a "healthy" person. To hospitalized patients it can lead to complications like death ! ! !

Besides that; I do not want to get sick . . .

I use a lot of essential oils in my massage therapy clinic. I pipe it right into the air in small ratios so that it's not overpowering to people with allergies or asthma. This time of year, it's rosemary. I have trained my clients to call in first, if they are sick. This gives me a chance to tell them to stay home otherwise they would come with the plague and infect us all. The oils work well because they have anti-bacterial, anti-viral and anti-fungal properties.
I have learned, over the years, to protect myself first because I've been taken down by people who want me to make them feel better but are completely oblivious to the risk they put me in, in the process.
Like the people who present to my clinic with full blown poison ivy...that one's got to be my fave...So, you have an aggressive, itchy, pus-oozing rash, that's spread from your ankles to your feet and you think having a massage on that might help. No way in hell, get to your doctor. You'll need a prescription to clear that.

Oh I hear you and thank you for your wonderful interesting comment, just wondering if inhaling these fumes from the essential oils is entirely safe? But I am thinking you probably have considered that aspect of using the aroma therapy...

LOL, poison ivy, yeah... I have this nasty rash, why not massage it ROFL; truly I think this is why we get the quality of politicians elected as we do. So many idiots out there voting...

When I become world dictator i will pass a law that you cannot VOTE or get a MASSAGE without passing a " common sense " exam, similar to getting a car licence . . .

I am at work as a nurse this lady comes in with an itchy rash. She sits there in bed scratching at her red pustules. I say " look hunny you need to stop scratching, I know it is hard; but you gotta stop ".

She yells at me " how dare you, if I want to scratch i will, they are itchy and i will scratch them as I am"...

I replied " listen deary , its a free country you do whatever you want to do, no skin offa my nose, you wanta scratch your rash you go right ahead; as I said its a free country. Its MY JOB to tell you that your scratching has those nerve ending crying at the moment and if you keep scratching those nerve ending will be SCREAMING in pain in an hour, but you do whatever you like..."

She glared at me and slapped her hands under her legs to stop itching, I said " good girl, now i will not have to fill you full of pain killers in an hour "...

Damn hard being a nurse : )

LMAO!!! I can so relate.
Yeah, no issue at all with the essential oils.

; )

Just remember there are a few erotic trigger points on the feet so be careful who and where some people expect a massage : )

Not to worry. LoL
I'm a 25 year veteran in my profession. In Canada we are recognized by our government as healthcare providers, very similar to Reg. Nurses and Physiotherapists. You'll just have to trust me when I say there is very little I haven't seen or heard at this point...I am a bit jaded and very sarcastic. ;)
One time I instructed a person to make themselves comfortable, so they asked me for a kleenex, which I gave them. I thought they were going to politely put their chewing gum from their mouth into my trash bin. Nope! They took their F#$^%ing false teeth out of their mouth and handed them to me. You take your dentures out to be comfortable. Come on! I'm a stranger and you're giving your dirty teeth. I was thankful for the kleenex barrier, let me tell you! LMFAO

I will voluntarily choose not to share the time years ago when i HAD to wash the feaces out of two peoples underwear by hand in a closet sink. This was in the good old days long before anyone worried about rubber gloves . . .

Somehow I do not think dirty dentures is quite the same race when people might consider what is more gross LOL...

But I thank you for your service of spending 25 years of your life running your hands over other peoples bodies; PLUS you got PAID to do it, seriously . . .

How could life get any better ; )

Hahaha! OK you win for sure. Seriously though, I might right a humorous book someday "Memoirs of a Massage Therapist". I'm considered an old timer now. I started my training just as I turned 18. I'm now 45. Most of my classmates are either deceased already or are in the late 50's and 60's. I figure I've earned the right to be highly sarcastic with a decidedly bitter undertone. lol

oh certainly and never a problem with me. Plz feel free to be as cynical or bitter or crazy as you so desire; I am here to hang out with fellow neurotic paranoid folks who have endured a lifetime of weirdness : )

nice to meet you and FAR nicer to FOLLOW (stalk) you ; )

Hahaha! Then, we are well-suited to be great friends @crok!
I don't even know what my mind is going to come up with next...now we can both be surprised and amused or offended...because I have learned that there is a fine line. lol

You do understand BUDDHA is a God and worshipped by over one BILLION people, I think the resemblence is uncanny...

laughing-buddha-1876038__1802a2b5.jpg

Plus whenever I meet new nice people I always make the standing offer of SEXTing as a way to 'break the ice' when forming new friendships; so let me know if you would like to do that ;)

I have a chess rating of 1450 and my Ebook on Amazon has sold in SIX countries. I am an AussieDownUndies and meet my Floridian lady in WOW (World Of Warcraft) back in 2007.

Knowing I would never be anybody in America and never gain respect unless i was a PUBLISHED author I wrote my book; today people look up to me in Florida and consider me " The Man " possibly primarily because I have sold my published book in SIX countries : )

I am sure that is the reason since I am only 6 foot 3 inches tall ! ! !

(actually I really am 5 foot ten inches plus tax with blue eyes and the body of a God; but I think people respect me is because of my book sales ) ; )

Plus the chicks simply swoon over my Aussie He Man accent ! ! !

Awesome to know I can go out most days and bring two women home for my lady love to meet . . .

Hahaha! You finished the last thread with a 6 comment, so I'll just say:
"yeah, a fine line between offensive or not offensive, just like sexting..."
Tread careful @crok, I've got some age on me and I've clocked over 50,000 people treated with skin on skin contact...I estimate that puts me into the circus side-show act category. Lmao