Simple Secrets to Happiness #3: Build the Right Habits

Last time we ended with the thought that you can’t will yourself to be happier, but you can create habits to make it easier to achieve a deep satisfaction with your life. Your good habits can autopilot you towards happiness-success, even when you use up your reserves of willpower.

Of course, getting enough willpower to create and maintain these habits is the real trick. I can’t tell you how many schedules I have made and broken. In fact, I have an entire thick folder dedicated to tried and forgotten schedules—new full day schedules I hoped would revolutionize my life.

Don’t do this. Instead, just try one new, small habit and use these science-backed tools to increase your chance for success:

1. Bundle the temptation: This is what you can think of as the PBJ effect. Peanut butter by itself is somewhat dry and bland, but mix it with jelly and it’s a delicious snack. In this case, your new habit is like the peanut butter and you are pairing it with something you already love (the jelly). You get the idea. For example, if I want to drink coffee in the morning, I only do it while working on a post for Steemit.

2. Take advantage of the fresh start effect: Did you know that there is actually a scientific reason people try to make New Year’s Resolutions? You are actually more open to making changes on the first of anything—first of the month, start of a new week, a birthday, etc. So, start your new habit on something that feels like a fresh start.

3. Tweak your environment: This can be a powerful tool to not only change yourself, but also other people’s behaviors and habits. If you are able to change something in the environment that makes it easy to do the right thing, you’re setting yourself up for success. Remember, you don’t want to rely on shear willpower. The classic example of this is instead of stocking your shelves with cookies and candy, stock your shelves with habit-supporting selections. I actually tried this tip on my daughter who sometimes gets distracted drawing. By simply making sure all drawing paper and crayons are put away out of sight, I’ve made it much easier for her to keep focused on the task at hand.

4. Decide on an action trigger: Deciding ahead of time when you’ll do something pre-loads the decision, thereby saving you willpower. So, what’s a simple action that you always do, that you can tie your new habit to? For example, after I brush my teeth at night, I’d like to read a chapter out of the Bible and write in my journal.

5. Give yourself a cue: This is kind of a funny one. The point of this trick to provide an unusual visual cue to remind you of your new habit in case you forget. For example, maybe stick a fake pink flower in the fridge to remember to water the garden after breakfast. But, keep switching it up, because eventually you’ll expect to see the pink flower in the fridge and it will no longer remind you!

6. Form a supporting habit: Ask yourself, is there a smaller supporting habit you can form that will get you 20 seconds closer to your goal? Say, if I want to get up earlier in the morning, I might set out my clothes the night before or set the coffee the night before, so I don’t use the excuse of not wanting to disturb the rest of my family.

7. Rely on a checklist: Checklists are awesome. They feel good. And they’re a powerful tool to help you stick to your happiness habit. Maybe I want to keep my little homestead running smoothly and I keep forgetting something—enter the check list. Feed and water chickens. Check for eggs. Check. Feed and water goats. Check. Take dog for a walk. Check. Weed and water garden. Check. And so on. And, by the way, checklists work great for kids too.

8. Lean on your community: One last strategy to help you… and that is this: “Remember, you are not alone.” Hello Steemit community! This is your moment to shine! The more you read about others making changes, your changes seem more doable in your mind. If you have a happiness habit win, tell others about it. If you falter, tell others about. They will encourage and support you and form a sort of accountability as you keep trying.

Whew! That is a lot of helps. I wonder why I still have a hard time sticking to things with all these tools available? Stay tuned for happiness secret number four as we continue on this journey together.

In case you missed it

Simple Secrets to Happiness #1: You Can’t Do It All (PLUS a giveaway)
Simple Secrets to Happiness #2: You Can’t Will Yourself to Be Happier

Thanks for reading. @allforthegood