Happy Easter!

Today, being the first day of the month of April is globally celebrated as all Fools Day, like it's a day designated for pranking, for fun. It's crazy. The world we live in today. But more importantly, today happens to be Easter; feast of the ascension of Jesus Christ - widely celebrated around the world by us Christians. That y'all know. My gastrointestinal tract had more traffic than an urban highway. Just kidding. Ate just twice.
I can't speak for your location though, where I live, it's a routine to take selfies and pictures after church service. Why? Guess it's because it's when and where most people look their best. Hence, the cute pics 😀😉
After it all, by 3P.M or thereabouts, my girl summoned me to her crib to honor her treat. Believe me; the food, her utensils and herself were just the best 👌🔥I was so full but, not enough to be called a bloody fool. I had a good laugh about that one. She bared her mind on how she loves Drake's hooks as it appeals to her soul. Nothing pretty nude. If she concealed, I sure won't like her makeup. We shared quite a good time together before parting.
Then I hung out with my guys, called Mark & Tim to join us, and Bill got the gates. I was storytelling how people celebrate Easter but don't give the nigg*r, Judas a single credit for making them have one or two less day(s) of school or work. Bitter relief. They enjoyed it more when I told them that silver hence, represented a reward for not being good enough. I trolled Tim, guffawed, how my Adam's apple bigger than his business. If only he had my nudes, he'd have been on top. To cap it off, Mark posted snaps on snapchat with captions “Easter Snap”, “He has ROSE”. We ridiculed him and took off to meme that on facebook where he had a bigger audience.
I had a really nice day, in case you asked. Happiest Easter celebration to you all.

Riddle
What's a foot long, made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?