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RE: Mizu No Oto - Every Image Has Its Haiku - Edition #29 (English)

in #haikucontest5 years ago

P.s. I've just a few suggestions for the English version for it to make more sense.

How width is the world
but my endless soul from here
to embrace all seems

You could change just two words and still maintain the 5/7/5 lines.

How wide is the world
but my endless soul from here
embraces the whole.

I'm sure the Spanish version is much more beautiful and as I can't read Spanish it's my loss to see it as it's meant to be read. Forgive me my editing, it's a force of habit ;-)

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Muchas gracias @raj808, una de mis razones para participar en este concurso es, precisamente, la de pulir mi inglés, así que valoro mucho este tipo de ediciones. No se si puedo modificar el texto para el concurso, lo hice una vez ya (En este) porque tenía una rima involuntaria.

Thank you @raj808! I think your editing is great, the only thing that is missing from the Spanish original is in the 3rd verse: with "embraces the whole", you gave a sense of certainty, while in Spanish "parece abrazarlo todo", it seems that it embraces all the world. It's more nuanced... anyway thank you very much!

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