Living in a closet. Emancipatory post
Living in a closet...I think we all 've been there. And it is so much frustration and pain about it. I will share with you my truthful story of growing up in a very traditional community and going through the transition to queer.
At my teenage time, I suddenly realized that there might be a small difference between me and girls of my age. While they were dating boys I found myself attracted to my best girlfriend. Realization of this fact didn't make my life easier, on the contrary, it was a lot of shame and blame. After months of doubts and fear I came out to my parents. Immediately I was sent to reparative therapy and spent the whole summer locked in our house. That was a time when I learned to hide myself and my emotions from everyone. I've never talked to them about my homosexuality anymore. I lived in a closet. At age of 18 I met my first girlfriend, we spend 3 years together. This 3 years showed me that I am not the only queer person in this country. However fear of being send to reparative theraphy left. It has never left me. And years after looking at the pictures of my first love I realized how big this fear was. THERE WAS NO SINGLE PICTURE WHERE YOU COULD SEE HER FACE or us together. Somehow my subconscious tried to protect us. I share with you this pictures. This is my emancipatory post.
Hey, is this the queer-related post you promised me? ;)
Heartbreaking to read how your parents took your homosexuality. It leaves marks if you get treated like that. I was lucky that I got such open-minded parents who didn't judge me when I told them I've found a girlfriend.
Luckily nowadays it's not as big of a deal if someones gay as it used to be. Although it is still hard to know what people truly think of that, so sometimes you just feel the need to keep things to yourself and not let them know the real you or all of you.. I wrote something about that on my blog, feel free to read if your interested! :)
https://steemit.com/travel/@meandyou/little-kiss-never-hurt-nobody
Yep, exactly what I promised. Some old school film photos and my short story :)
Thanks, it was worth waiting :)
It is, I am sure, hard enough to deal with being queer and hence different from possibly everyone you know. To have some prat tell you "You are sick, I can fix you," cannot do anything to bolster your self-esteem. To have that prat forced into your life by your parents is definitely adding insult to injury.
I hope I'm right. I think you came through it in one piece.
Trust me, I'm a doctor.
Well, I guess I moved on. Because it seemed like the only option :) I try not to see it as a traumatic experience. On the contrary, I very often ironize on it.
I totally relate to your post I think many of us might too that when we were growing up to think being Gay was not the norm. Whilst it's more accepted many people still have the same problem in parts of the world that makes me sad. How do you feel now about it??
I left my homeland around 10 years ago. I still have traumas, but I am moving forward for sure. Thank you for your support @crazybgadventure
I hope you don't have to hide anymore and that you are happy at last. I have to add, that these photos, despite the tragic background, give insight into beauty and a true artist's interpretation thereof. May your future be blessed .