3 Unlikely Ways To Break Up With Soneone - @trafalgar Contest

whatageek (74)in #funny • 7 years ago (edited)

If you go to the trending page you will see a contest by @trafalgar who is looking for unlikely ways to break up with someone. It doesn't have to be realistic so go crazy. He also says he is looking for new authors to support so give it a shot, you might win some SBD. Here are my three answers expanded.

1.) Clone yourself and have the clone live with the person.

All you will need is a piece of your own hair and a drop of your blood and you can make a clone. The problem is training your clone to come off as human. As everyone knows, clones are empty, cold and dumb shells that drool on themselves. Now if you were already like that in the relationship, then maybe your partner will not notice. But if not, you will have to train your clone to at least mimic a few words like a parrot. Also teach them to cuddle and if it is for a female partner, teach it to put the seat down. You don't have to be a monster.

2.) Put it on your answering machine.

"Hey this is ____, I'm not here right now so leave a message and if this is _____ our relationship is over at the beep." How douche can you get than putting it on your answering machine. It will also let your friends and family know so you don't have to have that conversation with them on top of it.

3.) Tell them your relationship is going through a hardfork and time apart is one of the changes.

This is for the crypto geeks out there. The good thing is if you want to get back together you can always hardfork again. I posted this in the comments and then scrolled to see someone else had a hardfork comment that said you can be my sidechain. Steemit has made crypto geeks of us all :p

If you got one do not post it here, but go to the contest:

https://steemit.com/contest/@trafalgar/traf-s-1-liner-contest-unlikely-ways-to-break-up-with-someone#@whatageek/re-trafalgar-traf-s-1-liner-contest-unlikely-ways-to-break-up-with-someone-20170618t165321811z