The Case for @schattenjaeger as a Trending Author
Everybody always complains about the trending page. To be truthful, I often times don't find it as bad as I just find it dull and uninspiring, but be that as it may.
It's not ideal for me, either.
What could be done to make it ideal? What one thing could fix all of the problems of the Steemit Trending Page?
It's all quite simple, really.
I need to be on top.
Every day.
I will now make my case.
I'm Very Funny
So, first of all. I'm hilarious. Like, super funny. Not many Steemians are as funny as I am. If any, really. Most of the posts on Steemit have no real life value, but I'm different because I'm funny and laughter always has positive value.
Just don't read my posts when you're at a funeral, I guess. Although reading my posts would be the ideal way to boost your mood at a funeral, so there is that. I need to look into it further.
Let's face it: the crypto scene is filled with dull and dry autists who can't tell a joke to save their lives. That's why one so rarely runs into anything funny on Steemit.
People who have followed my blog in the past will know to tell you that I'm different and I can make funny posts about pretty much anything.
This alone means I should be on top of trending because I can bring it comedy value.
I'm Probably the Best-Looking Male Steemian
This is a fact, not an opinion. It's a fact like the Earth being flat. Not that the Earth is actually flat, it just rhymed better, so just go with it.
There aren't many good-looking male Steemians. Not many good-looking female Steemians, either. We can, however, attract the latter group.
The fact is, women are the trendsetters who make things fashionable. Especially beautiful women.
The whales of Steemit are of no help here, and we know it. This is simply due to the fact that anyone whose hobby has anything to do with mining cryptocurrencies is far from a success with the ladies. A guy who lives in his basement meddling with crypto mining is in all likelihood a virgin who has never seen a boob that wasn't either his mom's or in .jpg format.
This is where I come in.
I'm a massive success with the ladies, I'm fit and I work out. I'm super funny, smart, and charming.
I know this because my girlfriend once told me this.
I will attract all the women of the internet to Steemit. They log in, they see me on top of the Trending Page, they get so mesmerized that they buy all the STEEM off the market just to upvote me in an attempt to impress me.
And we all know women like to spend money on stupid things. STEEM will be no exception. Anyone who has ever had a girlfriend knows this - which I'm hard-pressed to think is any of you, but still. Ask around.
I'm Really Smart
Goes without saying. I'm practically a genius. I'm always ahead of my time. Just look at all the things I've said in the past when those things were considered toxic and cost me all support. Now those things are mainstream, and when said by the Steemit INC golden boys, they earn showers of upvotes. I'm cursed with the burden of being smarter than everybody else, which means I always say things before they're popular.
If you want to know how something works, just ask me, and I'll tell you.
I Can Speedrun Mega Man X in Under 40 Minutes
I mean, that just has to count for something, I'm pretty sure.
I Can Make Awesome Posts
The most important factor! This ties into me being a man of high, damn near unmatched intellect.
We have all felt the shame of a certain unmentionable former top 20 witness sharing his stories of... doing things to himself on the trending page.
This is not a good look for Steemit. I'm sure investors take one look at the site, see stuff like that, and move on to other things. As they damn well should. I would.
This can all be fixed by allowing my well-written, well thought-out, articulate posts trend. I am willing to take the bullet for all of you and craft intelligent, thought-provoking posts that make the rest of you seem smart by associating with me.
That's just the kind of guy I am.
If you're still unconvinced as to why you should upvote me and add me to your autovote list, listen to this testimony by @randomguy123:
"My life sucked, I was in a downward spiral. Depression, alcohol, and microwave pizzas. It was hopeless. Then I started upvoting @schattenjaeger. Today, I have a new house, a bigger car, and a faster girlfriend. Upvoting @schattenjager changed my life!"
Also, several studies have shown that upvoting me has a positive effect on STEEM price.
Someone of my caliber should never have to lower himself to buying a vote.
So, get to work!
You forgot to mention that you also match the most important criteria: you cashed out completely and never gave two shits about voting, while complaining about the unfair distribution of rewards.
Even though this post is satire, making fun of a few specific users, and just meant to be funny, I'll bite.
Because you're right. If you use loyalty to the community as a criterion for voting, I don't deserve support. I dropped my STEEM and never looked back. That's perfectly fair.
However, you make some assumptions there.
I've never really complained about the distribution. Not to the extent of saying it's unfair, or wrong. There's a difference between personal preference, and an "ought to" argument that's painted as an objective fact.
I tend to not do the latter.
Everyone can only use as much stake as they own. This goes for even haejin and rancho. No rules are broken there. You can search through my posts and find me saying that, multiple times over.
Steemit can never be "not fair". The system doesn't really allow it.
Also, when I was getting support, I wasn't powering down. And never had any plans to. I powered down as I noticed I wasn't getting support no matter what I did. So I did the logical thing and took what I could.
You can say that makes me a bad guy, and I'm perfectly fine with that. You're entitled to that. I cared more about me than the community. But I've never made a claim to the contrary.
Also, I would again not power down if I had consistent support.
I'd also like to add that I didn't mind this criticism at all.
The criticism was mainly aimed at the top authors.
But I’m guilty of it, too. Fair to point out.
@schattenjaeger guy.. you had my upvote at
"testimony by @randomguy123:
"My life sucked, I was in a downward spiral. Depression, alcohol, and microwave pizzas. It was hopeless. "
Mindblowing.....
It's an honour and a privilege to be allowed to curate you manually.
Make Steemit great again!
Since I voted for you, the steem price went up 0.01%!
So it was all true!!!
Please, vote for this guy because he's telling the truth.
Plus he's very articulated... so there's that
Let me try that, too. Wait a sec...
Sometimes there’s a slight delay.
That's alright, patience became my second nature here.
Haha. I understand.
See?!
Yes!
Also, I like pudding.
I don't really eat pudding. What is about pudding that makes you like it so much?
yummm
I understand, but is there anything specific? Like an intricate quality, unique to pudding. This is fascinating.
The sweet sweet texture. But mostly because, as a kid, it was so awesome bragging at school you had chocolate while the other kids were eating carrots.
I see, I see. Makes perfect sense. I don't consume sugar myself.
Make it so fellow Steamians.
How can we not have our brightest, smartest, fastest guy on Trending?
Proof of Smart, Good Looking and Fast... shoot we went with Proof of Tokens instead.
I know right?
Post pics
Also 40 minutes LMFAO get good kid
Sub 40 minutes. :)
The current world record is 35 flat. I'm talking 100%.
100% is gross though (dillo visits lol)
I sort of agree that any% is more appealing. I just like doing the Phantom Grabs because they make feel like a master, hah. Though there are grabs in any% too, just harder to pull off. You can grab one of the platforms at the start of Sigma1, as well as Kuwanger's boss door, also in Sigma1. I've never managed the Kuwanger skip, though.
And there's the alternative carpet in Storm Eagle's stage where you grab one of the flamethrower platforms and you can use it to get all the way to Eagle.
The Dillo visits are lame, I agree.
I haven't done actual runs of X1 since before that tech was discovered tbh, never tried it since X1 is trash compared to the rest.
You should speedrun the good ones
X1 is still my favorite of the series. To be fair, though, it has less to do with actual gameplay, and more to do with nostalgia and stuff. Just the mood in the game, coupled with the soundtrack.
But I like all of them from X1 to X6. I've never played X7 or X8.
I can understand why someone would consider X1 to be worse than the others - and the others may be objectively better - but X1 hits my sweet spot.
For completely arbitrary reasons.
Spoken like a true normie ;)
For the sake of argument here is my list of greatness: X6 > X5 > X3 > X2 > X7 > X4 > X1 > X8
I am objectively correct, so be sure to take this without a grain of salt, as there is nothing that can distort you from taking this truth to heart, young one.
I'm okay with being a normie because the X games have a lot to do with childhood nostalgia.
However.
I'd say I can't quite join the normie club due to the fact that I have quite a lot of love for X5 and X6 that everyone hates.
I think X6, in particular, gets some unfair hate. It's harder than the other ones, but totally doable if you do the work. I've beaten X6 as Unarmored X myself.
X4 is overrated. It's fun, I enjoy it. I can see why people like it. But after X3 tried to be more ambitious than the first two games, it was a little lame for X4 to return to the more vanilla approach.
Then X5 tried to shake things up again, and everyone gave it crap. But I appreciate X5 for trying new things.
As for a list, I dunno, umm.
X1 > X3 > X2 > X5 > X6 > X4
Maybe, something like that.
I found the most painful-looking thing the other day, though: Tomb Raider speedrunning.
And I have nostalgic love for Tomb Raider 2, but speedrunning that game with the tank controls, the camera and all that just looks painful.
I'd never do it.
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Welcome to the club dude ... I think my feed is pretty sweet, but I don't get no love ...
There's next to no manual curation anymore, dude. It's impossible to get noticed. You can buy votes, but I still don't quite see their function. You can buy fake popularity, but once the vote-buying stops, so does everything else and you're making 10 cents again.
It's not like there are whales checking the trending page to look for people to curate.
All the SP is in the bots, and that SP used constantly makes everybody else's votes worth zero.
nice move!
Such move, much results.
The Reverend Mr. Schattenjaeger has spoken well. If Steemit were a meritocracy, the present-day trenders would be serving coffee to his assistent's secretary.
Absolutely.