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RE: When Your Math Teacher Has an Accent...
Going that far back to remember who said what, when and why is pushing the limits of my memory. I make up for it by simply being honest. That way I never have to remember what I said, which is probably what makes me forget in the first place....
If you can't remember, than how would you know if you were always simply honest? Riddle me that lol. I find most people have selective memories in varying degrees, some much more than others.
Having a memory like mine, is a blessing and a curse. Let's just say it is a really good thing that I am completely unable to hold a grudge, ha! I am truly grateful for that aspect of my personality, because my long ass accurate memory would be hell if it wasn't my nature to easily forgive and let things go.
I always remember to remain honest beforehand, that way, I know I was honest during the time I'm forgetting. Nobody is perfect and I think it's fair to say we've all been caught in lies before or at least feel some measure of guilt internally for bullshitting. I hate that feeling. I just can't stand it. It bothers me. Then always trying to remember who heard what and how... then attempting to keep the story straight...fuck that! It's a waste of energy.
As for grudges. I have no problem being pissed with people, provided there's a rational reason to be that way. I get over it. I don't have an issue simply turning my back either. I can't say I feel negative vibes, because that just makes me sound crazy, but if someone is a constant downer, it's best I just remove them from my space rather than trying to change someone only to watch things spiral out of control again. I don't have issues forgiving people for the right reasons either. ...this conversation popped up outta nowhere.
I enjoy talking to people. Shooting the shit. In this comment below you mention the nesting limit changes. It's a good thing. Unfortunately, I've noticed, not many people actually talk. I see a lot debates and I certainly don't have an issue with those, but I don't see people just kickin back and shootin the shit. "Good post!" met with, "Thank you," ... then on to the next one. Too much yapping can be a real chore though, which ties with something you said earlier. As long as I have the time though, I don't mind.
Steemit needs more of this basic socializing stuff though. People seem more willing to talk when it comes time to either bash the platform or recommend what they think might improve the place. I say, if more would just chill out and relax, that would be a huge improvement and far less daunting to the new people trying to find their way around. Anyway, long ass responses are kind of a pet peeve of mine, yet here I am going on and on....
Because A: you missed me too, and B: you're comfortable with me, and C: You absolutely LOVE it when I say shit like this so you were fishing for it...hee hee, kidding kidding (about the last part), don't get bunched up boxers, that shit's uncomfortable. ;)
I missed everyone equally. I'll talk to anyone and feel comfortable. Spending so much time alone downtown Edmonton really helped with that. ... and yeah. You know damn well I don't require praise and if I fishing for compliments, I'm only doing it because it's funny. Just thought I'd clarify. Blockchain. You know how it is...
Okay, so just to clarify. In your long response you said people should do more shooting the shit, actual talking, which I take to mean real human interaction and conversations like hanging out in someone's living room, right? Which is the way that people get to know one another, move beyond shallow polite and frankly boring back and forths to generally a mix of fun banter and deeper more meaningful discussions, which is what happens when you make a connection with people that goes beyond the surface...am I on track or off base?
"I missed everyone equally, I'm comfortable with anyone"...that's very diplomatic. But is that simple honesty? And if it is, then do you mean that we are all, everyone you've met on here, interchangeable? As in this conversation could be with anyone, it would make no difference to you who it was?
I actually ask that with completely sincere curiosity. It's...necessary for me to understand this.
Interchangeable? That could only be possible if everyone thought exactly like you. I don't think I'd be able to swap you out for someone else and have this exact conversation. I'd be comfortable speaking to them about whatever we are speaking about though. I once sat on a bus and had a conversation with a dude about how, on his first day in prison, the guards shaved off his pubes. I don't think I'd invite that dude over for a beer, but we did connect because for me, I'd never heard of such a thing and found it to be interesting and I think he found me interesting because I wasn't scared of him. Looking around during the conversation, I could see how the words were making other people on the bus feel uncomfortable and I just don't get that.
Society is weird. You can walk around the big city, see five hundred people, and not one of them will look you in the eye whereas I have no problem simply saying hello to a perfect stranger and maybe shooting the shit for a bit. I speak with anyone, but that doesn't mean I share the exact experience every time. It's always unique. I value those experiences, so therefore I value this conversation in the same ways.
Diplomatic? I can see what you mean there. If I have to pick favorites though, I start to feel cornered. It's not something I enjoy. To me, that comment felt honest within the context. Maybe not the best wording, but I like to speak directly. I do my best to avoid mincing my words and would prefer people just take them at face value rather than reading into them looking for some underlying message. The secret code talk most don't notice can be found in my blog posts, never the comment section.
I think the only time I'll single people out is if someone bothers me. I handle that on the inside though, no need to make a scene or hurt someone's feelings.
I think one major flaw in my character though is how I don't get close to people. I have a deep respect for a good many, but I tend to stand back. If I'm ever pushed to pick sides or favorites, something like that, I tend to wall up. That doesn't make me comfortable at all because I truly think the honest thing to do is to keep everyone on a level playing field. People will find ways to take that personally, it happens, I don't hold it against them, but I don't understand it either. I just like to chill, relax, get to know people but I rarely feel like I need to know what makes them tick. You're you, they're them, I'm me, we're all awesome... and that's good enough for me. I'm stepping a bit outside my little bubble to explain here and now, but you did ask. Just know, out of respect, if someone else had asked, I probably would have gave them the very same answers.
You're a cool cat @dreemit. Be at ease. You're accepted here. Hold on to that confidence and try not to question these things.
I know I'm a cool cat, lol, I definitely don't question that. And accepted here? Hee, that's kind of an understatement at this point, definitely not in doubt. I woke up to this comment from rigaronib this morning: "You give me hope for this platform" After reading hans calling me a hundred percent class act yesterday...actually I could really spend some time tooting my own horn in this regard, though the fact that there happens to be a ton of great people in this place factors highly into this. For example rigaronib is fantastic and hans is just as classy.
I think I finally understand the problem here. And it's mine, not yours. A misunderstanding. You see, your ability and more than that, desire to have conversations, or as you put it 'chill, relax and get to know people' is, to my mind, at odds with not getting close to them. It created confusion for me, because it's not in me to spend a great deal of time with someone and not feel a deeper connection.
So we are opposites in that sense, you need things to stay...you said level, I would say at the surface, maybe they're the same. I don't know how to do that. I mean I can maintain polite relationships with people, if I don't spend a lot of time with them. But that's different than this. I have never been in this position before, I'm kind of at a loss to be honest. I'm not mad at you, I don't blame you, if that's who you are, then that's who you are. The only problem is, I don't know how to backtrack. Myself. I know you didn't realize you were hurting people when you disappeared, I know it wasn't intentional. I get it now, because based on what you're saying you wouldn't feel that way about anyone if they did what you did. So how could you know? But I made some inaccurate assumptions and unfortunately for me, I care very much about you. i can't even tell you how...let's just say that every other person on here that I've gotten really close to, we have exchanged information that would prevent us from not knowing if something terrible happened to one another. Paul? I could drive to his house if need be, that's only if his phone wasn't working...you get the picture.
If you don't feel things at a deeper level about people or allow yourself to, or whatever it is that you're saying exactly, then...this is where I keep coming up short, shit, lol. I don't want to upset you, if that's even possible from what you're saying. But I'm not sure I can continue like this with you. You may not get that, and I'm sorry. Like I said, it's my fault, my misunderstanding. But if you have the ability to feel empathy, then here's my situation. You-unintentionally I know- caused me some serious pain. I thought something might have happened to you...and this occuring basically after the beginning of this misunderstanding that did not get cleared up until now. I don't know how to be the kind of non friend, friend, that you want. I don't think I can be that. I can't be fake Damien, that's the issue here, and it would be fake. Polite when I don't know someone, that I can be. But after months of getting to know someone, yeah, I don't know how to backtrack. Relationships develop and move forward in my world, or they evaporate because there's nothing substantial to maintain them. I'm sorry. Truly. If it even bothers you or you need the apology, I don't know about either. I've not known someone like you before. From what you're saying, you don't develop feelings that would get hurt, so I guess this shouldn't bother you. But if by any chance it does, know that I would hate that, I would not want to hurt you.
Maybe when I wrap my head around it better I can figure out something.
Or if you thought it was possible to move forward in friendship and wanted to give it a try, I'll be here.
I hate ending on that note, so I'll just say, I love your art and your stories, please don't stop creating. You're hilarious, and gifted and going places. And I promise if I can find a way to separate myself, I'll be back.
Thanks for opening up. Looks like I need to work on being a better friend. I also have something set up now so if something were to happen to me, you folks will hear about it. I'd say more, but I keep hitting my teeth every time I put that foot in my mouth and I don't want to be sore tomorrow... SMILE!
Actually though, one aspect of memory I sometimes have trouble with is the short term...stupid shit like walking into the kitchen and having no idea what I went in there to get, standing in the middle of it with what I know is a completely befuddled look on my face. Then I give up, get about halfway back to wherever I was and "Doh!"
(And I can't blame it on getting older, because I have ALWAYS done that, it's more about my head always being, forget the clouds, more like somewhere over the rainbow, lol)
EDIT: I am loving this no nesting thing, makes this so much easier. I didn't realize they were going to include the feature where you have to click to view comments beyond a certain point, but I think that was a good plan. I had this image in my head of certain posts having a daunting bottomless pit, haha!