Back in my day... (Halloween edition)

in #funny4 years ago (edited)

I haven't checked the statistics lately. However, the last time I did, the average age on steemit was 30 years old. Therefore, at 46, I am one of the old men of steemit. As an elder statesman, every once and in a while, I consider it t is my duty to get all grumpy and grumble about how much better things were in "my day".

Maybe I'm not quite old enough yet. This week, I wanted to get all crotchety about how much better Halloween was when I was a kid. Then I realized that it wasn't.



I get that the one thing is The Creature from the Black Lagoon, The yellow one is a Plague Doctor, but what is the green one? Only if it had the name written across the chest!

Halloween in the 1980s super sucked compared to what I saw this week.

First of all, back in my day, you were guaranteed to receive at least three popcorn balls, four pounds of candy corn, and enough Bit-O-Honey to ensure that your dentist would be able to buy at least two new boats that year. And that isn't even counting the rock hard Pal Bubble gum, flavorless candy cigarettes (seriously people gave those to kids) , and whatever the Hell was in those plain black and orange wrappers (And I am not swearing here. I really mean that they serve that unidentifiable candy in Hell).



Welcome to Hell. Enjoy the only dessert you will ever taste again! Mwa ha ha ha ha!

You know what my kids got when they went trick-or-treating earlier this week?

Name brand candy!


Tons of it! When I was a kid, if you got one Snickers you rubbed it in your friends' faces, saved it for last and savored it like it were the finishing touch on your last meal. Earlier this week, I saw a kid drop a Snickers... and he didn't even go back for it! He had 30 others in his bag. It would have just slowed him down.

My kids actually got a few full-sized candy bars. And we don't even live in a rich neighborhood! When I was a child there were legends of neighborhoods across town where the full-sized candy bars flowed like sustenance coming straight from Amalthea's Cornucopia. But we never dared go. In order to get there, we would have to sit in the way back of those death trap paneled station wagons. No way we were risking that.



Yes. We used to think this was a good idea. By the way, what it wrong with these kids? They are wasting a prime bird-flipping opportunity.

Pffff! Of course we would risk that! It is just that none of our parents were going to drive us to another neighborhood across town. Those death wagons got like 6 miles to the gallon and gas was a whopping $1.32 in 1981! I may have asked my mom to drive us once. I think she responded with, "No way! Just go and enjoy your Circus Peanuts, Mary Janes, and Good & Plenty. Back in my day, all we got were apples, sawdust, and grass clippings."

But my kids got some of those babies just by walking around our block. It was enough to make me want to go and put on a costume and get some for myself.

And there is another thing...

Costumes!


Back in my day, the costumes sucked as bad as a Mork and Mindy episode after Mearth joined the cast. Like every other boy in 1981 I was a huge Star Wars fan (big shock I know). Everyone wanted to be Boba Fett that year. Being the spoiled brat I was, I got my wish. Here's what I got:



You know what the real Boba Fett doesn't have on his chest? A picture of himself! He also doesn't have a belt with his name on it.

So that was the best Boba Fett costume available to me in 1981. Do you want to see the worst one available today?



$19 at wholesalehalloweencostumes.com. So this is what would get you made fun of today. "Your mom had to buy you the "Standard" costume. Couldn't afford the extra $7 for the "Deluxe". But this is awesome compared to mine!

At least Boba Fett wears a helmet. Therefore, that mask wasn't too ridiculous. It looked cheap and lame, but at least it made sense.

A couple of years earlier, I was Luke Skywalker...



Was this Luke Skywalker or Eric Stoltz as Rocky Dennis? I still have no idea.

How something can be so lame and terrifying at the same time is beyond me. Yet somehow they pulled it off. Lucky me.

Here's the worst part about it. I had blond hair and it was styled like Luke's (it was the late 70s... and apparently my mom thought I was a girl).



For a mere $14 I could have rocked this costume so hard!

I freaking looked just like Luke! Why I covered up my perfectly good face with that lead paint covered mask is beyond me.

This Halloween, I saw kids wearing Godzilla costumes that you blow up with air. There were perfect Spider-Man and Batman costumes. Some girls looked exactly like Elsa, Moana or Rey. My own son rubbed it in my face with a perfect Tusken Raider costume... that was cheap as hell. We didn't even need to leave our home to get him an awesome Sand Person costume complete with a gaffi stick.

Now some people might be thinking, "Oh that is a huge step back. Where is the creativity? Its so easy to get something store bought." But kids still have the option to make their own. That choice wasn't taken away just because super awesome costumes are now easily obtainable. In fact, last year, my son was a "Gonk Droid" from Star Wars. He made his costume out of cardboard boxes and some garden irrigation tubes.

I too enjoyed a homemade costume or two when I was young. One of my favorite was a pirate costume which consisted of my mom's puffy red blouse, Culottes, high heel lace up boots, a ton of costume jewelry necklaces, and a big hoop earring.


Screen Shot 2017-11-02 at 9.05.24 PM.png
Still 10 times more manly than I looked.

OMG!


When I was 11 my mom let made me go as a crossdresser.*

Back in my day... Halloween sucked!

Images1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

*Not that there's anything wrong with that.

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Halloween has only just picked up momentum here in Australia so I never got to go as a child. I love being able to take my kids around the block and dress them up in scary costumes. That being said I still have plenty of unfortunate looking photos from other occasions to look back and have a giggle.

those are some really shitty costumes man.. especially the yoda mask...it looks so messed up XD

I really don’t mean to sound too preachy but I try to keep my blog an “r-word” free zone. If you want to know why, please check this out.

https://steemit.com/life/@hanshotfirst/spread-the-word-to-end-the-word

done, my apologies :)

You are awesome! That was very cool of you!

I'm right up there with you my brotha! Born in the 70's, Child of the 80's, and a 90's teen. I remember those plastic costumes well. They sucked! The plastic masks would cut into your face, you could't see out of the eye holes, and the inside would get wet from breathing into them. Yet they were totally awesome! Kids today have no idea what halloween used to be like. There were no rules, no adults, and we would stay out way past dark. Halloween was dangerous, that's the way it was, and that's the way we liked it!

Here I am with my brother; I'm in the Yoda costume, the same exact one you have pictured above.

THE 80's!!!
FullSizeRender-3.jpg

When I was a kid we heard of this weird occurrence in the americas where children would knock on the doors of strangers and be given actual real FREE sweets!! To keep!! 🤤 Jealousy ensued 😑

Lol! Yeah I honestly do realize how lucky I was/am. I was just using this as an excuse to laugh about some of my costumes I wore as a kid.

Hi @hanshotfirst first i will have to say sir because being in your 40s is quite a feat, and i must say it really was fun enjoying halloween in your days being young with all the experiences you narrated.

I love this sir thank you for writting

@josediccus pfft if being in your 40s is quite a feat then I'm an overachiever Son 😉

Hi there @methusaleh It is sir. Because when you age you get opportunities to relate your experiences

I'm sorry to hear that... well, Halloween isn't that awesome in my country either... even until now.. It's not something that everyone celebrates... :) There are some companies and homeowners who celebrate it... but in my place... Zero... just another ordinary day... hahaha xDD But I love putting on Halloween makeups... ^^ Here's what I did a couple years ago...

12189526_10207864835808314_8410741411328058569_n.jpg

PS: Just make up... no costume.. hahah xDD and I just stayed at home... my online English students were quite surprised though.. haha xD

Nice costume! How do you get pictures in comments? I can’t figure it out.

Hello! thanks... it's pretty much the same with posting pictures on your post... If it's from your PC, simply drag it to the comment box... if it's from a website, just copy image and paste it on the comment box. However, be mindful of the size... would be better to set it to a smaller one...

Halloween always brings back great memories. I recall as a child going door-to-door asking for candy it was such an amazing time it' still brings a smile to my face when Halloween comes around just watching a young kid :-) you have my vote

As a young guy of Steemit (21), this was a hilarious post! Costumes have changed so dramatically, and it's pretty comical to see the differences. I do feel for your Halloween PTSD, however.

You are definitely not old...because that will mean I am too.....and I am not old so you aren't either...

In real life we are spring chickens! But in steemit years...

I enjoyed your post a lot! :) It brought a lot of memories from my childhood, despite the fact that back in the 80s, Halloween was not celebrated in Bulgaria.

Halloween isn't celebrated in Nigeria too but I also understand his post. Funny and interesting at the same time.

That’s great! You got the point if this. It was Ann excuse to reminisce and smile.

Halloween is still not so popular in our country..hope it will be soon....nice post!!!!!!!

halloween is an imported commercial holiday here

there used to be something like the day of the dead where people went about with cans full of coal or burning wood on a wire (iron) to swing around

all across the streets of town ... to chase the evil spirits and the ghosts out

its a niche thing now ... but i always like that a lot more than the imported commercial "buy your costume decorations now" day

a lot more :) nice story though ... culture .. you should come visit carnival here if you think thats weird ... the third day is called "day of the dirty faggot" (i cant translate it closer than that) ... its got nothing to do with gay bashing, all with crossdressing and insulting each other .... culture :)

Hell yea. Vintage costumes are the future.

Halloween surely has changed over the years. It is the second top grossing holiday next to Christmas in the U.S now. It was estimated that this year over $9 billion would be spent on this festivity. Growing up in a religious household I was not even allowed to dress up, so no fun stories for me.

Did you know Halloween originated from the Celtic festival called "Samhain"? I wrote a pretty detailed article a couple of days ago if you're interested in learning more. You can check it out here. Upvoted, thank you for the humor!

ahhh, the joys of the wayback in a stationwagon!

Very true, how much I'd love to be a child these days again. Also the toys are fantastic, the lego, playmobil, etc. I'm only 38, but I can sympathise here.

nostalgy photos are so sensitive)
our past is our power)
modern costumes are not so cool

My mother is a tailor and she always makes my costumes in parties and events.

I loved your post! That is my car that I drove my children around in the neighborhood! Lol I remember the costumes of those days were more or less "do it yourself" versions. Even back further in Halloween history were my childhood days of the late 40;s when there were always the contests of the best costumes that our mothers made of crepe paper, It;s a wonder we didn't blaze up and shoot off like a cannon. Never did it happen! Lol!

If human beings had genuine courage, they'd wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween

Your Children really are lucky to have you around. It's all about fun and stories.

Great post! I'm reminding my childhood a lot recently as well as I just realized, that there is so many things that were so great back then. Not only simpler, but you had friends, more freedom, exploring new things - those were really amazing experiences, that I miss greatly :)

I dunno, but......I prefer your Halloween? I'd rather know the kid that was pumped to wear a D-grade Bobafett costume than the one leaving a snickers behind for the mice. (Awesome post!)

HOY I'M 53 .. .. ENOUGH SAID.

Yep. lol

you’re so right about how much the millennial generation has upped the ante on costumes/Halloween in general.

Maybe it has to do with increasing corporates pressure, hell, there’s a whole industry for costume stores. Many of which used to be seasonal, now open all year. Millennials (like me) do tend to shy away from religious holidays and towards the hallmark category, at least from what I’ve noticed.

Funny and interesting post. I can only imagine kids wearing such costumes nowadays. Upvoted!

On my block, this year, we were the only house with lights on. There were only a few houses in the entire neighborhood giving out treats. A downside to the modern Halloween is how few participate. The kids live in a suburb of a major midwestern city and needed a driver to locate and get to the loot.

Hey, it didn't suck as you say. It was just..frugal I'd say.
Today we take so much for granted. Back in the days such events involved planning and a lot of work. I remember (cause we don't celebrate halloween in my country), when I was a kid (some 15 years back) on carnival Sundays, groups of kids in costumes and masks would visit most houses in the village, waiting for the owners to recognize them. We would get treats too!) Ah! It was such fun. Nobody does it today sadly...

Oh I was only kidding. I loved Halloween as a kid. I know I am very lucky to be in a place where it is celebrated. Those carnival days sound fun!

And they were!! Thanks for reminding me of them... :)

When we watch our old family albums, we laugh a lot seeing our dress code and costumes. That really looks very very funny.

I know! I still can’t believe some of the stuff I wore.

you are true guideliner of how to enjoy halloween fest.

Awesome costumes guys...i loved them..😘😘

Se ve muy emocionante Sweet holloween nice adventure for candies

This ia very funny man! I enjoyed your post because your aricle is good.

Wow!
This is superb.
Wanna view it over and over again.

great post :)

So true and so cute.

After reading this post. I respect you sir for such great post. Hats off.!!

Funny stuff - good one my friend - upvoted

I have only a word.. lol 🤣

Great post
Thanks for

great post I like this...really nice & mind touch blog😍😍

nice photo wow plies one vote

hehe those were awesome :D

Amazing.

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I Read Full Post Its Awesome Bro I Like It.

hahahaha.....lol man loltenor.gif

Worth reading 😂

Btw

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i like your post. thanks for sharing

Hey! Another amazing post! I just posted another Voyage into my life journey. Check it out! It's about my travels across the world! Hope you like it!

vary nice pic & post

We made our own costumes back in my day! It was fun though.

Great post keep up the good work also if you want you can follow me and comment on my post so that you can receive more up votes from me.

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los disfraces de hace tiempo eran muy poco cool

Old memories take us to the past.

Awasome ....
Great post

Haha had so much fun reading this @hanshortfirst. We don't celebrate Haloween in my country but it is always exciting to see different costumes from those who do.

holloween is not really celebrated with fancy costumes in our country.. we'd rather pay respect to our departed loved ones than party.

Ha, if you're an old timer, I'm a relic @63! How do you go about checking stats on Steem like age? Oh, and back in my day, we didn't get no ride up and down the street, we had to walk with those heavy bags full of apples and oranges and pennies!

I'm about the same age as you. I remember getting popcorn balls as a treat. It was a dirty trick, if you ask me. You might as well have given me a rock, like poor ol' Charlie Brown.

I had one of those cheap costumes also. I was Speed Racer, one year. The thin little elastic band on the cheap mask was stretched out to the max, only being held in place by two small staples.

Some people also handed out candy apples but everyone knew those were made to hide razor blades. In the garbage they went.

Kids today, have it made.

I enjoyed your past a lot . That's really awesome .You Have a good memory.

This is so good @hanshotfirst! Lol!

Ah, I really felt that you have taken us to the time when Halloween was not so great! I really laughed when I read that kid didn't even bother to pick up fallen snickers, coz it would have slowed him!! 😅 It would be awesome if halloween happens in my country as well.

nice tree main

Personally I prefer homemade costumes. When my children were trick & treating, some years I bought because they wanted to be a particular character. Junk construction, I know on purpose, and you got 1 maybe 2 years out of them.
Homemade more creative, well constructed and something to pass down.

Good post! I enjoyed it!

Great!!! Nice Article!! I'll be following you!!!

Excellent post, I invite you to visit my blog

I just remember that back in 1970, we would get apple slices which my Mom would promptly throw into the trash can and tons of sweet and sour nonsense that I hated. Like you said: Candy bars were fairly rare.

OMG, culottes!!!!

You left out the wrap yourself in toilet paper mummy costume, or was that already old fashioned by the 80's?

Now I feel old. ;-)

I like thjs halloween culture so Much how i wish its been celebrated in my country

nice working with halloween edition.you are doing well

Did you design the costumes by your own? the design that you have attached in your that was really mind blowing. Is that only for kids?