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RE: An Open Letter To All Those Curators Who Broke Up With Me
That spring colored "I miss you" card with the stare down from the abandoned cat has got me feeling guilty, and I haven't even gone anywhere. Wait, you used to say mean things to avoid the dishes? Deal breaker.
Yeah like, "We're out of soap, bitch." HA! I'm kidding.
"Lick them clean, asshole!" Kidding. That's gross.
"I thought that's why we got the stupid cat!" Oh shit. I'm having flashbacks.
She Inaudibly grumbles while picking up cat and carrying it to kitchen. "Go to the store, we're out of cat litter!"
And then you went back to the video games, the cat started shitting in the bed...it all makes sense now.
Oh please. He never left them, and I know - I'm the one who just wrecked him - 4 games running.
You are the sidekick with the shifty eyes who muttered "yeah" after every come-back? The one with the bloody thumbs and the cheeto breath? Oh man. Did you start showering? And whatever happened with Wanda?
No, it's been scientifically proven that showering has a negative effect on your gameplay. I haven't done it in over a decade.
And for some strange reason Wanda left soon after that point...
Poor Wanda. I liked her. I remember her sitting on the couch, covered in hives from that cat allergy, waiting for you to blink in her direction.
I hear she's got a new boyfriend now. He's not as successful as you in gameplay - he showers every couple of weeks.