Honeymoon Mishaps

in #funny6 years ago

A couple I know went to Italy on their honeymoon and I was eager to find out how they got on there because we are regulars in Italy and go at least once a year. I put Venice on their must see list and they did spend a couple of days there. When I asked them how they got on they said that Venice was awfully expensive especially the gondola's to get from one side of the street to the other. I was a bit confused by what they were saying as there are thousands of bridges in Venice so you can walk to 99% of locations. A gondola ride would be considered a treat to take a romantic ride around the city and it is also considered a tourist trap but ya gotta do one if you are there. When I quizzed them more they did indeed say that it cost them €30 to get a 40 second gondola ride across to their hotel. The two apes were taking the tourist gondolas to cross the waterway when there was a bridge beside them. They were robbed blind twice a day getting to their hotel. I think a couple of days in Venice cost them well over €1000 and the guinneas book of records for Most Gondola Rides.

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Then there was Tom and Mary. Never out of Ireland in their life. And off they go on a safari on their honeymoon. They hit down around 10am and the safari had well gone out at this stage. The receptionist told them they could take a trip around the grounds but not to head to far. She gave them a quad to look around. So off they went, Tom driving and Mary on the back. Mary was warning Tom not to go too far but Tom being Tom tested the boundaries and went a bit further out than he was meant to. They came across a safari jeep and the ranger told them to get the fuck back to the resort as they were out too far and there were lions spotted in the area. So Mary hit Tom a slap on the head and Tom headed back in. As they were driving back Tom saw something in middle of the road up ahead. Both of them were a bit short sighted and it was only a blur at first but they had stumbled upon a Rhino. They stopped the quad about 50 metres from the beast. Mary panicked and made a run for a tree and climbed up it. When rhino started walking in their direction Tom followed Mary up the tree. So there they were in 40 degrees , first trip abroad, first day on honeymoon up a tree with a Rhino looking up at them. Mary freaked out at Tom obviously
You're not in Ireland now you eejet! After a half and hour up the tree both began to get a bit uneasy and Tom was starting to burn as he was a ginger. Luckily the ranger who spotted them notifyed the resort and they sent out another ranger to escort them back. He hunted the Rhino away and made sure they got back OK.

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The next day Tom and Mary were having breakfast and the guy serving their orange juice asked them if they went on safari yet. They had just been out on their first one. He said that a couple of Irish numptys had to be rescued down from a tree yesterday after going out on their own on a quad. He laughed while doing the universal mental sign.

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Lucky they weren't killed
Tom and Mary laughed nervously and went along with the story
Where are you guys from?
Scotland replies Mary.

Mary then had to spend most of her honeymoon talking to the waiter every morning in a Scottish accent to escape her fib. When Mary got home she let everyone in work know what happened and that's how I found out the story. Tom will never live this one down.

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Walking disasters. You would think they have never traveled before. Not far means I wouldn't use the quad lol.

Yeah that’s what he said . A quad in Ireland and you travel miles

hahaha! howdy sir blanchy! great stories there, I love those things! But I would never tell anyone about them if I were them!

The humour was good, but I especially liked the presentation of the two stories as personal anecdotes.

Thanks Arthur. I read some extracts of your diaries but I would be there for weeks if I want to go back to start !

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True...but your comment sort of highlights what is the problem with Steemit.

In real life, all cities are still full of libraries and bookshops, with many fictional paperbacks nowadays being of 800 to 1500 pages.

Each of my diaries is the equivalent of a 1000 page book and when I used to post them on another site, I had 746 regular readers, who read all 12 books. I would get back comments, some that really touched me (like a German artist who told me he could not put down the books because the spirit of Cherine brought back to life his little daughter who died when she was eight years old). Another guy would take a day off work whenever I brought out a new book cause he could not wait to read it - and I knew he was not bullshitting me as he would the following night send me long comments about various parts of the book. I'm not saying I am a good writer, but obviously something resonated with some of my readers.

Here, everyone cannot read more than a two page post at a time. There are some writers whose work I've loved reading here, but the truth is, I give up on reading them because I get into the story, making it come alive for me, and...boom, wait for tomorrow. I would much rather download a pdf file of the entire work and read it at my pace.

For this reason, I have just opened another account where I will ONLY be posting Little Cherine, and each post will be of 14 pages (a fair read for one day). I have started from page 1 of Book 01. I do not look for upvotes there, though comments will be much appreciated. Unfortunately I made a mistake with my delegation - I made one and then decided to increase it by $5 and my delegation went down to $5, so I cannot post until I have enough free SP to delegate again (end of this coming week).

Your comment was appreciated and thanks for the follow (reciprocated).

.

EDIT:

I just thought of a good description. Reading in Steemit makes me feel like I've got the 'reading hiccups'!

I’m not saying I am a good writer but obviously something resonates with some readers . .....I write how Ispeak so I know where you are coming from here . Right I’m gonna give them a go! Is the account simply littlecherine?

The link that shows all the posts is:

https://www.steemhost.com/steem/SteemOther.aspx?Host=@arthur.grafo

You can skip the Satellite story, as that appears within one of the books later on...

I am curious as to how many you will read...
:)

Thanks I will give a read over coffee later.

I read the first two just there and I am very interested to read on. I am glad Freddie walked and the boss left him off. It doesn't happen that often

Thanks. Being a 'frustrated' artist, I've always wished I could be like Alki, a patron of artists. Not a patron of the arts, just of artists. I attended art college in South Africa for half a year , had a fight with my teacher and left. Since then I've stopped painting and sketching - I'm talking of something that happened when I was 21 and I am now over 75 :)

When I spoke of having a certain number of reders, I should have said that overall, about 4000 people downloaded the books, but the rest did not find it interesting because of most of the characters being children - and they are still children 200 years later.

I was fascinated by the way psychic gifts would change people and society as a whole. It is why I let the story take its time so that all the characters can become known, liked or loved so that we care about how they develop. It is only halfway through the second book that the world really intrudes and they have to fight for their lives...and...no, I'll stop or else this will turn into a spoiler.

I hope their universe (Syncosmos) becomes real for you.

PS - in your avatar, are you the second face on the left (the one with the most light on it - or are all four meant to be the various aspects of yourself?

The one with the most light on ! It better not be 3 other aspects of myself because one of them was a raging alcoholic. I want to read 3 more today . Interested what unfolds when Aiki finds out that you are in love with his daughter

Looks like some people are very talented in getting in trouble. As about the Venice story, people like them need to learn the hard way. I will never understand these people. There's always a way, you just have to look for it and it's commonly known that tourists are ripped off constantly exactly because of layoffs information. Stupid 😀

Yeah it was pretty stupid to think they had to use gondolas like that. They thought it was the done thing

What a story!!! Lol! I feel so bad for Mary and Tom, being on top of a tree, running away from a rhino when they are supposed to be having fun? Now, that's not the ideal honeymoon. Lol! But then again, it was part of the adventure, and I am sure it did add to the thrill of the trip....

And Mary with the Scottish accent, that sure is hilarious...😃😆

They will laugh at it in years to come. Well maybe around 20 years . It is still a bit raw with Mary

Those are funny stories...... as long as they happen to someone else... ha ha

Their honeymoons will certainly be unforgettable.

Yep I wouldnt like to be up a tree with a Rhino looking up at me 😂

The first couple spent a ton but they laugh about it now

But these Guys are great at boring birthdayparties , When the silence kicks in they throw in these stories, bam laughter All around
Have a great Sunday
Britt

Never a dull moment with Tom and Mary

For the stories everybody needs a Tom and Mary
I think everybody knows a Tom and Mary

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